


Starting Fresh

by orphan_account



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: AU, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-07 08:55:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 57,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5450768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kelley is fresh out of high school and excited to finally be on her own with her two best friends. What happens when Tobin's closed-off roommate catches her attention?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first AU fic! I figured I would try something new. Comments/suggestions always welcome!

Kelly POV

 

I watch from my place in the backseat as we pass the academic buildings. My legs are shaking with my excitement. College. The time has finally come where I can be on my own and live my own life. I’m rooming with my best friend, Alex. Another one of my besties, Tobin, is in the room next to ours. We pull up to our building, Washington Hall. My parents help me bring my stuff to my room and we set up rather quickly.

 

I’m exhausted after a long drive from Georgia to Boston. I tried getting my parents to let me take a flight, it would have been quicker and cheaper, but they refused, choosing instead to drive me here and spend the night in a nearby hotel. Just as we’re finishing up, I hear Alex’s voice coming from the hallway. They’re here! I run out to greet them with a tight hug. This is the first time I’ve seen them since soccer camp last summer. That’s where we met, when we were only 13 years old. We clicked. Since then Tobin and Alex have gotten ‘really close’ if you know what I mean. They’re pretty much together, but neither one of them will bite the bullet and make it official.

 

I walk my parents outside. I try to keep the tears at bay but before I know it all three of us are crying and they’re holding me. This is the first time I’ll be this far away from them. Soccer camp is the only place I would go without them and it was only about 2 hours away by car. Now, I’m hundreds of miles away from home and I’m on my own. I take a deep breath and watch as they drive away. They’re leaving very early tomorrow morning so I won’t see them before they go.

 

I slowly make my way back to my room and find Alex leaning back on her desk, kissing Tobin. I gasp. “My eyes! My eyes!” I yell, covering my eyes with my hands and running out of the room. I take a right and I slam directly into someone. I fall backwards, landing on my butt. I look up to see the most captivating blue eyes I’ve ever seen. She’s glaring at me. I scramble to my feet. “I-uh-I-I’m so sorry. I just-I-I’m Kelley.” I say, sticking out my hand.

 

She looks down at me. It’s intimidating. “Watch where you’re going.” She says, coldly, brushing past me and walking into her ro-wait. That’s Tobin’s room. No fucking way. I walk back into my room. “Tobs, your roomie is hot. And she’s kind of a bitch.” I say, crinkling my nose with the last part. Tobin looks up from putting a lightbulb into Alex’s lamp. “You don’t know, Kelley. She could be having a bad day.” I sigh. Leave it to Tobin to see the best in people. “Well you should probably go meet her then.” I say, flopping down on my bed.

 

Tobin POV

 

I unlock the door to my room and look around. Nothing. There’s nothing on the walls, no decorations, no pictures. I look at the tall brunette who has her headphones in, sitting on one of the beds. Well, looks like she’s claimed that one. I put my bags on my bed and approach her. She glances at me and takes out an earbud. “Hey, what’s up? I’m Tobin.” She looks at me skeptically. “Hope.” She says. Wow, her voice doesn’t match her appearance. At all.

 

“So, uh, are you not done unpacking?” I ask, looking around. She only has one small bag of clothes. I see her fold in on herself, closing me out immediately. “I’m done.” She says, putting her earbud back in, signaling that this conversation is now over.

 

I give her a slight nod and go back to unpacking my stuff, getting set up. KO and Alex are right next door and I can already tell it’s gonna be a long semester. The walls are paper thin and I can hear the music that the two have playing from in here. I shake my head to myself. Alex. Alex is beautiful. When she told me she was coming to Boston with me, I felt happiness immediately wash over me. She’s everything. But we aren’t together, technically, I mean. I think she’s waiting for me to ask her but I just don’t see a reason for putting a label on everything. Why can’t we just live? Be free? Why do we have to put ourselves in a box?

 

I don’t want anyone other than her, that’s for sure, but I also don’t like labels. I don’t like being forced into something and that’s what I feel like is happening. Alex makes comments that suggests she wants to be official. Kelley does it all the time too, and honestly? The more they pressure me, the less I want it.

 

Kelley POV

 

We’re two weeks into classes and Tobin’s mysterious roommate is just coming in from a long night out when I’m walking out for my 8 AM. “Walk of shame?” I ask in passing. She whips around to face me. “What did you just say?” I hesitate. If looks could kill I’d be dead. “I was kidding, blue eyes.” She still hasn’t told me her name. Of course, I know what it is because of Tobin, but until she introduces herself, she’s getting nicknames.

 

She walks up to me with a glare plastered on her face. She looks at me for a minute before turning around and walking away. “What is your problem?” I call out to her. I don’t understand why she has this grudge against me. We don’t even know each other. She freezes and glances back at me. “I don’t like girls who think they’re a gift to the world.” I raise my eyebrows. “So you like girls?” She falters, I smirk. She’s a total lesbian. Kelley-1, Blue Eyes-0. She walks into the building without responding, but her reaction said enough.

 

* * *

 

 

I rarely see her around campus. Sometimes we run into each other in the hallways or in the bathroom on our floor, but she always shuts me down anytime I try and talk to her. Today is no different. I walk into the bathroom before my 8 AM class and hear the shower on. Which is weird, because no one is ever in the showers this early. I ignore it and brush my teeth. I hate having to share a bathroom with all of the girls on my floor. They’re messy and there aren’t nearly enough sinks for all of us. Luckily I seem to be one of the few people who have 8 AM classes so I normally have the bathroom to myself when I’m getting ready in the morning.

 

I hear the shower turn off as I begin to apply my makeup. I could do it in the room, but I normally wake Alex, so I started doing it in here being the amazing roommate that I am. I hear shuffling of feet and look in the mirror to see the curtain open and Hope, wearing just a towel. She jumps upon seeing me and immediately goes back into the small changing room, whipping the curtain shut.

 

I shake my head to myself. “I’m not gonna bite, you know.” I call out. I don’t get a response. She comes back out minutes later wearing sweatpants and a tight shirt. I can see a small sliver of skin between the top of her pants and the bottom of her shirt. I feel my face get hot at the sight. She gathers her stuff, packing her towel and her shower shoes.

 

I turn around and lean against the counter, taking a break from my makeup. I look at her and notice the bags under her eyes. It doesn’t look like she’s slept in days. “You look tired.” Did I say that out loud? Well, fuck. She looks at me. I can see the blankness in her eyes. “Thanks.” She says, sarcastically. I cringe. “Sorry, that didn’t come out right. I mean, you should try and get some sleep.” She shrugs. “Can’t.” She says it to herself, but I hear her.

 

“You can talk to me, you know. If you want to.” She scoffs. “I’m not your charity case. You can’t approach me and put on the Southern Belle act and expect me to pour my heart out to you. Go find someone else to badger.” She walks out before I can respond. I don’t move for a minute. Southern Belle act? Does she really think she’s a charity case? This is fucking crazy. I sigh and turn back around. Now I’m gonna be late to my class. Great.

 

* * *

 

 

“Dude, Hope stays up until like 3 in the morning like every night. I only notice when I wake up and see the light coming from her laptop. Then she leaves at like 5 or 6.” Tobin is laying on Alex’s bed, while Alex is sitting on her desk chair. I’m on my own bed, bouncing a tennis ball off the wall.

 

“She’s kind of weird.” Alex mentions. I look over at her with a small glare. “She’s quiet. I don’t know I feel like she’s been through some shit. She’s closed off.” Tobin replied, lightly. I stop playing with the ball and turn to face her. “What do you mean?” She shrugs. “Something just seems off, I don’t know. She’s pretty dark. I mean, you’ve seen her part of the room. There’s no pictures or anything.” I nod, slowly.

 

My stomach growls. “Can we go get food? I’m fucking hungry.” Alex rolls her eyes at me. “Listen, roomie, you didn’t feed me earlier so I need food. Now.” I say, looking pointedly at her. “Fine, let’s go before you have a fit.”

 

“Hold on, come to my room, I need to grab money.” We follow Tobin into her room. Hope is on her bed, reading a book. “Hey” I call out to her. She glances at me and rolls her eyes. I walk over to her while Tobin searches for her money and Alex is distracted with her phone. She watches me as I come closer, but doesn’t object. I sit on the edge of her bed. She shakes her head at me, but I ignore it. “Why do you hate me?” I ask, softly, trying to make sure the others don’t hear me.

 

She sighs, in frustration. “I don’t hate you. Why are you so interested in me anyway? Why don’t you just leave me alone. Everyone else does.” She whispers, angrily. I see a flash of pain go through her eyes, before it goes away just as quickly. I falter. “I-“ I’m cut off by Tobin. “KO, you ready.” I hesitate. I’m so fucking hungry, but this is the most I’ve gotten out of her since we’ve met. “Um, I think I’m gonna stay here. You guys go and I’ll catch up later.” Hope opens her mouth to object, but I shake my head at her.

 

“Uh, okay.” “Bye, Kell.” They say, before leaving. I wave at them and turn back to Hope, who’s reading her book again, or pretending to. “Why are you so angry?” I ask, softly. She ignores me, continuing to look at the book in her hands. I grab it and put in on her desk. She glares at me. “I was fucking reading that.” I roll my eyes. “Just go away.” She says, looking at me pointedly.

 

“Will you just stop being a bitch to me and answer the question?” She looks surprised at my words. She shakes her head and looks away from me. “Do you really think that calling me a bitch is the way to get me to ‘open up’ or whatever it is that you’re trying to do?” I shrug. “Maybe.”

 

“I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t even know you. You think you can just come in here and ask me questions that I don’t want to answer and then call me a bitch when I won’t? You don’t know anything about me. Just fucking leave.” She stands up and walks away from me, opening the door and waiting for me to leave. I do as she tells me. I don’t want to make her angry, that’s not what I was going for. I look at her as I pass. I see her eyes swirling with emotion, something that she can’t hide. I hesitate before going into the hallway. “I’m not gonna leave you alone. I’ll leave for now, but this isn’t over, Blue Eyes.” I turn to walk away. “My name is fucking Hope.” She says, angrily.

 

I smirk. “It’s nice to meet you, Fucking Hope.” She shoots me a glare and slams her door shut. Well, that may not have gone exactly as I planned, but it’s better than nothing. I text Tobin and walk outside. Time to eat.

 

Tobin POV

 

Alex and I walk together to a nearby diner to grab some food. I still don’t know why Kelley is so invested in getting to know Hope. Honestly? She doesn’t seem like the type of person to open up easily, but Kelley is resilient and it wouldn’t surprise me if she succeeds. “What’s the deal with your roommate?” Alex breaks my train of thought. “What do you mean?” She looks up at me and bumps me with her shoulder.

 

“Well, Kelley seems pretty interested and she seems like she isn’t. Like at all.” I nod at her. “I don’t know. She’s pretty hard to read, to be honest. I do know that something isn’t right. She never talks to family or friends, never has anyone over. She seems like kind of a loner.” She looks at me skeptically. “She seems pretty strange.” I narrow my eyes at her slightly. I feel a strange urge to protect my roommate. “You don’t even know her.” I say, simply.

 

She shrugs and interlaces our fingers. “Just an observation.” I sigh. “I don’t think she’s weird, I just think she’s been through some shit.” I open the door for her once we arrive at the diner. We get to our usual table and sit down. “Like what?” She asks. I shake my head. “I don’t know. She hasn’t talked to me. She’s just skittish when it comes to talking about anything personal. I’ve tried.” We put in our orders and just as our waitress walks away, Kelley arrives.

 

“That didn’t last long.” I say, as she approaches us. She smirks as she sits down. “Progress was made.” I raise one eye brow at her. “Really?” I’m definitely skeptical. Hope isn’t an easy person to talk to. She laughs. “Not really. But she did finally tell me her name.” I nod. “Well that’s a step in the right direction, I guess.” Alex looks over at Kelley. “What’s the deal with her? Why are you so dead set on getting her to open up?”

 

She hesitates and plays with her menu before responding. “I don’t know. She just seems like she needs someone.” I sigh. I don’t think Kelley is ready to handle someone like Hope. She’s from a small town in Georgia and has an amazing family. Is she ready for someone who may not be anything like her? “Okay but you do realize that she might be like damaged?” Alex asks. I furrow my eye brows. “You shouldn’t say that about someone.” I speak out. Kelley shoots her a glare too. “She isn’t damaged. I’m not an idiot, Alex. I know what I’m doing. I’m not just fucking with her. I’m not just trying to get her to open up just to leave her alone. I don’t know why I feel a connection with her, I just do.”

 

Alex puts her hands up in surrender. “Okay. Just don’t come crying to me when she hurts you, when she lashes out again.” Kelley rolls her eyes. “I’m not a child. I can take care of myself.” I give Alex a look, signaling her not to start a full blown argument. That’s the last thing we need. She gives me a slight nod, in understanding, before changing the subject.

 

Kelley POV

 

I’m walking back to my dorm after finishing the last of my mid-terms. I aced them, I just know it. I studied so fucking hard, there’s no way I got anything less than a 95. I walk up the stairs to my floor and see Hope walking out of her and Tobin’s room. “Tobin in there?” I ask. She shakes her head, locking the door behind her. “You going home for break?” I ask. We all are. I’m going to Georgia tomorrow morning and don’t come back until Sunday. “Nope.” I tilt my head.

 

“Why not?” She rolls her eyes. “I don’t want to talk about it.” She walks past me. I reach out to grab her wrist, out of habit, trying to stop her. She stiffens when I touch her, before relaxing again, a second later. “Sorry.” I drop her wrist and shake my head at myself. “Sorry” I repeat. She nods and turns to leave again. “I’m gonna get you to open up, Hope.” I say, seriously. She turns around and looks at me.

 

“I wouldn’t put in too much effort.” She laughs. “I’m not worth it.” She smiles, sadly, and shakes her head before walking away. I stand, in shock, and watch her leave. I don’t know what I expected her to say to me, but that definitely wasn’t it. There’s so much more to this girl than anyone knows. I go into my room and put on some music.

 

I feel a connection to her. I feel like I want to know who she is, I want to know why she’s so closed off, why she doesn’t think she’s worth being cared for. There’s something behind the stoic persona she puts on. I can see the pain, the loneliness, the fear. Kelley O’Hara doesn’t give up easily. I’m going to figure her out.

 

* * *

 

 

“Tobs, give me her number.” She shakes her head. I’ve been trying to get her to give it to me for the past 10 minutes. “Why not?” She sighs. “Because, if Hope knew I gave you her number she’d be mad at me. The only reason I have it is because she’s my roommate. It’s not like I’m friends with her.” I shrug. “Then why do you care if she’s mad at you?” Alex groans. “Will you just give her the fucking number so she shuts up?” I shoot her a light glare.

 

Tobin looks conflicted, but ultimately caves in. “Fine. But I’m telling her you took my phone when I wasn’t looking.” I roll my eyes. “What, are you scared of her or something?” She shrugs. “I mean, have you seen her? She’s pretty intimidating.” Alex nods her head in agreement. “Have you seen her without a shirt on?” I ask, smirking. Tobin looks at me. “You’re out of your mind.” She didn’t say no. “So you have? Is she as hot as I think she is?” Alex furrows her eye brows and looks at Tobin, expectantly. Tobin looks from me to Alex. “Uh, I don’t know. She isn’t my type.”

 

I roll my eyes. “So what? Is she ripped or what?” Tobin sighs in defeat. “Yea, she’s pretty ripped. I’m pretty sure she goes to the gym like twice a day.” Tobin is so fucking lucky. Maybe we can switch roommates. “What time do you leave tomorrow?” Alex asks me, changing the subject. “My flight leaves at 6 AM.” I make a disgusted face. “You?” They look at each other. “We’re both actually going to see my family in Cali. I think our flight leaves at like 11:25 or something.” I raise my eye brows. “Really? Have you met her family before?” I ask Tobs. She shakes her head. “No.” She looks nervous. “I always just flew in for camp, so she never met my parents. But she will tomorrow.” She smiles at Tobin.

 

“Don’t fuck it up.” I say, jokingly. She looks at me and I almost feel guilty for saying it. Almost. “Oh, please. You’ll be fine. Who doesn’t love the chill surfer who’s a badass on the pitch?” She cracks a small smile. “They’ll love you.” Alex says to her.

 

* * *

 

 

Being back in Georgia is like a breath of fresh air. Being in a big city is great, but nothing compares to the beauty of my home town. We’re driving home from the airport, I’m sitting in the backseat. “So, honey, have you made any new friends?” She looks at me in the rear view mirror. “Uh, not really. I mean I talk to some people in class and Tobin’s roommate is pretty cool, but other than that, I’ve been focusing more on school.” Speaking of Hope, I go to her contact.

 

I haven’t tried to talk to her since that last conversation in the hallway. I type out a short text and press send before I can change my mind. “Hi, it’s Kelley. I got your number from Tobin, hope you don’t mind.” I watch as the message is delivered and take a deep breath. I watch, waiting for a response, but it doesn’t come.

 

I get home and settle in, taking a shower and unpacking some of my clothes. I hear my phone vibrate on my bedside table. It’s her. I smile to myself. I honestly didn’t think she was gonna respond at all. “What do you want?” I roll my eyes. Typical. “Do you like peaches?” I smirk and press send. I receive a response quickly. “What?”

 

“Do you?” I reply. “No.” I scoff. Who doesn’t like peaches? “What are you doing tomorrow?” ‘For Thanksgiving’, I want to say. I leave it as it, though. It doesn’t seem like she’s celebrating this year. She types for what feels like forever. “I don’t know. Not eating turkey.” Well that wasn’t very long considering how long she was typing.

 

“Why not?” I have to ask. She’ll probably just brush me off anyway. “Because I don’t want to.” As I expected. I contemplate what to say, but my thoughts are cut off by another text. “Because I don’t have anyone to eat turkey with.” I stare at my phone, in a small state of shock. She opened herself up for conversation for the first time in 3 months. I must take too long to reply because I’m cut off by another text. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” I shake my head to myself.

 

“If I was there, I’d eat turkey with you.” I cringe as I press send. It’s really lame, but I don’t know what else to say to her. I don’t get a response. I don’t hear from her again until I get back to Boston, 4 days later.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's almost Christmas! I'll probably get one or two more chapters up before Christmas Eve. Let me know what you think! :)

Kelley POV

 

I drag my bag up the last flight of stairs, finally making it to my floor. I unlock my door and put my stuff inside then immediately go to Tobin’s room. I should probably unpack and maybe shower, but I want to see her. I sent her two more texts after getting no response from her and she never responded. I need to at least make sure she’s okay. I knock on the door and wait. I swear I hear movement inside, but she doesn’t let me in. I knock one more time and wait for another minute before finally giving up.

 

I quickly shower and unpack all of my clothes. I’m sitting on my bed, doing homework, when Alex comes in. She smiles at me. “Hey.” I say. “How was it?” We hadn’t gotten the chance to talk very much. We were all way too busy with our families to really get to tell each other what was going on. “Perfect. They love her.” I smile at her as she flops down on her bed. “What’d you guys do?” She yawns, before telling me everything that happened throughout their time in California. Apparently, Tobin tried teaching her dad how to surf.

 

Tobin lets herself in about an hour later. “Hey, KO.” She says, before sitting next to Alex. We tell each other all about our trips. Tobin told me about Alex’s family, Alex told me about how nervous Tobin was to meet them, I told them about Georgia. I don’t mention how I talked to Hope. Speaking of Hope, “Was Hope in your room when you got here?” I ask Tobin. She nods. “She didn’t seem like she wanted to talk so I left her alone.” I roll my eyes and stand up.

 

“Where are you going?” Alex asks. “Don’t worry about it. You stay here and make out or something.” I walk out and knock on the door, loudly. “Hope, I know you’re in there. Open the door.” I wait for a few minutes, knocking every minute or so. She really isn’t gonna answer? I sigh and start to head back to my room when I get an idea. I rush into the room. “Tobs, give me your key.” I say, ignoring the fact that I walked in on them kissing. She throws her keys to me, without second thought. She probably just wants me to leave them alone.

 

I walk back out and unlock the door, opening it slowly. “Hope?” I say, softly. She looks at me from her bed. She’s on her laptop. “You couldn’t have let me in?” She rolls her eyes, but doesn’t look at me. I sit on Tobin’s bed and wait for her to acknowledge me. She doesn’t. “You’re just gonna ignore me?” I sit, uncomfortably. She glances over at me. “What do you want?” I scoff. I feel like as soon as I take one step forward with her, she completely shuts down. “I just wanted to see how you were doing?” I say, questioningly.

 

“Well, I’m fine. You can leave now.” I sigh, loudly, and stand up. Fuck this. She doesn’t get to sit there and act high and mighty. “You know what? Fine. I’m not gonna sit here and talk to a brick wall. You should probably find a therapist or something. You obviously have issues you need to deal with.” She clenches her jaw, but doesn’t respond, doesn’t look at me. She keeps her eyes on the screen in front of her. I instantly feel guilty. I bite my lips and look at her. I wipe my face with my hands. “Fuck, I’m sorry.” She glances at me with a blank face, showing no emotion. “Leave.” She whispers out.

 

Shit. I nod, slowly, and walk out. I wipe my face and lean against the outside of the door. I was just getting somewhere with her and now I’m back to square one. I thought I could get through to her. I thought I could help, but maybe I’m doing more harm than anything.

 

* * *

 

I keep trying to talk to her, but she gives me the cold shoulder every time I approach her. She clearly wants nothing to do with me and, honestly? I’m sick of chasing her around, hoping she’ll open up. I have to start focusing on school and getting better on the pitch. I want to be on the team next year and if I’m gonna make it, I have to get my shit together and stop worrying about some girl who won’t even talk to me. Alex is on the team as a freshman. Why? Because she hasn’t lost focus. Tobs and I need to work hard if we want a shot next season.

 

Finals are coming up fast and I have to study my ass off to keep my grades up. Sure, I have straight A’s for now, but if I fuck up these finals, I’ll lose them. I can’t do that. I still hope to get through to her one day, but this is my first semester here. I don’t want to get caught up in the drama.

 

Tobin POV

 

Hope has turned out to be a pretty good roommate. She keeps her distance, gives me privacy when I need it, she’s organized, and she’s not loud. With that being said, I don’t know much about her. I do know that she’s older than us. She’s mentioned that she graduated high school a couple years ago, but that’s pretty much all I’ve gotten out of her. I also know she played soccer. She has a couple t-shirts from her high school’s soccer program. We’ve developed a friendship throughout the past couple months. Turns out, she’s actually pretty cool.

 

We’ve been in our room for hours, both of us are studying for our finals. “How many finals do you have?” I ask, casually. She doesn’t usually have a problem talking to me about light topics. It’s only when I try to ask about her family or her past that she shuts down, but I’ve learned how to dance around those conversations while still getting to know her better. She glances up at me from her book. “3. You?” I raise my eye brows. “3? Lucky. I have 5.” She looks at me, apologetically.

 

“You going home for break?” She asks. I nod. “Yup. Going back to Jersey. Alex might fly in after Christmas so we can spend new year’s together. You?” I see her stiffen. Did she really expect me not to ask? I sigh. “You don’t have to tell me.” I say. She visibly relaxes a little bit, before looking at me. “I honestly don’t know.” I look at her, confused. “How do you not know?” She shrugs. “I haven’t done anything special for the holidays in years. I normally just stay at my apartment, but now I live here and they’re closing the dorms until next semester starts.” I nod, slowly. “Well you can’t just live on the streets. We’re supposed to get a huge storm next week.” I say, jokingly. She rolls her eyes.

 

“I’m not gonna live on the streets. I’ll figure something out. I might go stay with one of the girls I used to play soccer with.” I sit up, putting down my notebook. “I mean, you can totally come with me back to New Jersey. My family wouldn’t care.” She gives me an appreciative smile. “No, it’s okay.” She looks down. I was expecting her to immediately shut me down, anyway. “Well, if you change your mind, let me know.”

“I’d be intruding. I don’t want to do that.” I throw a pillow at her, but miss terribly and it ends up on the floor. “You wouldn’t be intruding. We don’t even really do anything special. We normally just eat a bunch of food and hang out.” She shrugs. “I’m gonna figure something out. It’s only for two weeks then we’ll be back here anyway.” I nod. “Okay.”

 

“So how’s Alex?” I glance over at her. “She’s good. Why?” She smiles and shakes her head at herself. “I don’t know. I was just wondering. Sorry.” I laugh. “Well don’t be sorry, I mean, she’s good, she’s great, I like her a lot.” I explain. She nods, but doesn’t respond. “So, how about you? You have a boyfriend? Girlfriend?” I don’t know whether she’s straight or not, to be honest.

 

“Nope, no girlfriend.” So she is gay. “That’s cool. Single life, huh? You interested in anyone?” Sure, I might be trying to see if Kelley has a chance or not, but that’s beside the point. She sighs and looks at me. “No-Yes. I mean, maybe-I don’t know, to be honest.” She stumbles over her words. It’s endearing in a way.

 

 “You don’t know?” I laugh. She shrugs. “I don’t like to put myself out there.” I shift on my bed so I’m leaning against the wall. “Why not?” I have an idea of what her answer will be, but I’m curious to see if she’ll take the bait. “I haven’t had much success in relationships. People leave when they catch a glimpse of my imperfections. I’ve really only had one really long relationship and that ended in court, so.” She rambles.

 

“It ended in court? Why?” I know I’m pushing her limits, but at this point, it’s worth a try. She shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter. He just..he wasn’t who I thought he was. It’s fine now. Regardless, I just don’t like being vulnerable and when you’re in a relationship, you’re almost always are.” She looks at me and shrugs. She gives me a small smile before putting her headphones in and continuing to study for the week ahead.

 

* * *

 

“Have you talked to Hope?” I ask Kelley, who’s sitting across from me at a table. We’re in the library, finishing up a project for our Stats class. She glances up from our poster. “Not really. I’ve kind of backed off.” I hand her the double-sided tape. “Why?”

 

“I tried, Tobs. I just have to focus on my finals. She doesn’t want anything to do with me.” I honestly think that Hope may be more interested in Kelley than she wants to admit. “I think she does.” That caught her attention. “What? Why? Did she say something?” I smirk as I write on the poster.

 

“No, not really. But I can tell she has some sort of interest in you.” She sighs and kneels on the ground in front of the table. “Maybe I’ll try talking to her again before break, but I won’t be surprised if she shuts me down.”

 

“Just don’t pressure her. She opens up more if you just talk to her. If she feels like you’re forcing her to tell you personal shit then she won’t.” I know Kelley. She’s probably been trying to pry her way into Hope’s head, when in reality, all she needs to do is have a conversation with her. Kelley chuckles to herself. “Well that explains a lot.” She looks down and sits back on her calves. “I was just trying to help. I thought that if I showed her I care, she would feel more comfortable.” She shakes her head to herself. “Well, don’t feel badly about it, KO. I know you’re just trying to help. She’s just scared. You have to give her time.”

 

She sighs and looks over at me. “Anyway, how are you and Alex.” I roll my eyes at the subject change. “We’re fine.” I say, simply. “You asked her to be your girlfriend, yet?” I groan internally. “No and I’m not going to so don’t expect it any time soon.” I say with conviction. She looks at me, questioningly. “I thought you were falling for her? That’s what you told me like last week…” She trails off. I sigh and put down the marker I was using. “I am falling for her. That doesn’t mean we have to be ‘official’ or whatever.”

 

She scoffs. “Do you really think Alex is gonna be okay with that? She isn’t going to wait forever, you know.” I look down and away from her. “Why does she need a label?” I ask. I know Alex talks to Kelley about it. “She just wants to know you’re committed. I mean, it’s how it usually works. You’ve had feelings for each other for over a year. Honestly? I’m surprised she’s waited this long.” I sigh and pick my marker up again. I guess I’ll need to talk to Alex. I may not necessarily want to put a label on us, but I’m not willing to lose her over it.

 

Kelley POV

 

It’s almost the end of finals week and I’m basically a zombie. I’ve barely gotten sleep, too busy staying up to study. I’ve just finished my last final of the day. I walk into the café’ on campus to grab a coffee when I see her. She’s on her laptop, headphones in, glasses on. I didn’t know she wears glasses. She looks sexy and adorable at the same time, who knew that was possible? I get my coffee and walk over. I sit down across from her and she glances at me.

 

“Can I help you?” She asks, taking out her headphones. “I’m not here to ‘badger’ you, or whatever it is you think I do. I’m just tired and need a break before I have to walk back across campus.” I say, folding my arms on the table and resting my head on them. She doesn’t respond. I hear her typing something on her laptop. “I didn’t know you wear glasses.” I mention. “You never asked.”

 

I look up at her and remember what Tobin said. “I guess I probably came on too strong, huh?” I mean, I kind of expected her to open up on my command. I didn’t even really try to get to know her, her interests, what she likes to do. She shrugs. “At least you made an effort.” We fall into an awkward silence. “When do you go home for break?” She asks, breaking the silence. “I leave on Saturday.” She nods, slowly, looking at me over her screen.

 

“What are you doing?” I motion to her laptop. She shrugs. “My finals are done, so I’m just writing.” I furrow my eye brows. “Writing?” She nods, slowly. “I write poems and stuff. It’s stupid.” I bite my lips. “Seriously?” She doesn’t seem like the type of girl to write poetry. “Yup.” She responds, closing her laptop. “What else do I not know about you?” She shrugs. “A lot.”

 

“I’m going back to the dorm. You want to come with me?” She asks, putting her glasses in the case. I look at her and nod quickly, before she can change her mind. I follow her out of the café, throwing out my empty coffee cup on the way. We walk in silence, enjoying the chilly December afternoon. She takes a deep breath. “I like dogs. I used to play soccer, goalkeeper, for my high school team. Letting people in scares me. I lash out when I feel cornered or threatened.” She speaks almost robotically and stares straight ahead. I hesitate and look up at her as we’re walking. “What?” I don’t know why she all of the sudden felt like telling me about herself.

 

“You asked what else you don’t know about me. There you go.” She says, softly. I reach out to grab her arm. She flinches at the contact. I pull my hand back and she sighs, shaking her head at herself. “And I don’t like when people touch me unexpectedly.” I look up at her, trying to read her face, unsuccessfully. “Why not?” She shakes her head. “I don’t want to talk about it.” I sigh and walk beside her, silently. “Are you ever gonna want to talk about it?” I finally ask.

 

She shrugs. “Maybe.” That’s a better response than I was expecting. I look at her. “So goalkeeper, huh? I bet I could score on you.” She cracks a smile. I perk up at her reaction. “In your dreams.” She mumbles. I scoff. “You better start training because as soon as the snow melts, we’re going to the field.” She rolls her eyes. “You’re on.” She smirks. God, she’s hot.

 

We make it to her room and I stand by her, awkwardly, as she unlocks the door. “So, uh, I-I guess I’ll see you later.” I stutter. She glances at me as she opens her door. “You can come in, if you want.” She walks inside without waiting for my response. I quickly follow her inside, closing the door behind me. She plugs her laptop in and sits on her bed. I sit on Tobin’s and face her. I can’t help thinking about the last time we talked, how it ended. “Hope, I’m sorry about what I said, before. I was an asshole.” She shakes her head, quickly. “Don’t worry about it. I mean, I do see a therapist, and I do have issues that I need to deal with, so.”

 

Well, now I feel like an even bigger asshole. “Shit. I’m sorry.” I put my face in my hands, rubbing it. “It’s fine, seriously, don’t worry about it.” I sigh. “Okay.” We fall into a silence. I take out my phone and text Tobin, letting her know we’re in here and to go hang out in my room with Alex. I might be getting somewhere here, I don’t want her to interrupt that.

 

“So, where are you from?” She asks. I look up, surprised at the question. Did I really never tell her about Georgia? “Fayetteville, Georgia. It’s a pretty small town. You?” She falters, a little bit. “I’m originally from Richland, Washington.” I raise my eye brows. “That’s far.” She nods. “I wanted to get as far away as I could. So here I am.”

 

“Do you have brothers or sisters?” She glances down. “I have a brother, Marcus. He’s older than me.” I nod. “I have a brother too. His name’s Jerry. Then I have a sister, Erin.” She looks at me appreciatively. “Do they live in Georgia?”

 

“Yea. They live on their own. They stayed pretty close to my parents though. They’re only like 10 or 15 minutes away from the house we grew up in.” She gives me a small smile. “That’s good. So you’ll see them over break?” I nod. “What about your parents?” I ask. I know I’m risking her shutting me out, but we’re having a pretty good conversation, I might as well try.

 

She shakes her head and looks down at her fingers, playing with them. “They um, they’re away.” I furrow my eye brows. “Did they move away?” She lets out a chuckle. She doesn’t look at me, continuing to pick at her nails.

 

I see her clench her jaw. This is obviously a sore topic. I stand up and move towards her, cautiously. I sit next to her, but keep my distance. I start to bring my hand up to put on her back, but stop myself, remembering what she told me earlier. She sighs and looks straight ahead. I’m half-expecting her to tell me to leave again. She starts bouncing her right leg, anxiously.

 

She glances at me. “I don’t want to tell you.” She states. “Why not?” She looks down and takes a deep breath. “Because my family isn’t like yours. My family is fucked up.” I’m confused. “I was just asking, Hope. You don’t have to tell me.” She rubs her temples and looks to the ceiling. “They’re in prison.” I falter, leaning backwards, subconsciously.

 

She doesn’t wait for my response. “My Mom was driving drunk and hit a police officer. She killed him. My Dad is in for drugs,” My heart instantly breaks for her. I sit up straight and hold out my hand to her, seeing if she’s willing to take it. She doesn’t. She looks at it and shakes her head. “When?” I ask.

 

“My Dad was put away when I was in middle school. My mom was right after my high school graduation.” I slowly bring my hand to her leg, pausing right before I made contact. I put my hand down, softly. She tenses, but quickly relaxes into the touch. She looks down and away from me, shoulders slightly hunched. “I’m sorry.” I say, honestly. I’m sorry that she went through that.

 

She sighs and rubs her face. “Shit happens.” She says, casually. “How long do they have left on their sentences?” She shrugs. “I stopped counting. I really don’t care. They could be out now, for all I know.” She picks up her phone and looks at the home screen. “Don’t you have finals to study for?” She asks. I shake my head. “I’ve done all the studying I can do. I only have one more to take anyway.”

 

“Do you want me to leave?” I ask, when she doesn’t respond. “If you want to.” I roll my eyes and rub her thigh with my thumb. “I don’t want to. I just don’t want to over stay my welcome.” She brings her hand to rest on top of mine, holding my middle and forefingers. “Did I scare you away?” She asks, softly. I tilt my head at her, in confusion.

 

“Scare me away?” She nods. “I don’t know. Your family is perfect and mine is anything but.” I shrug. “My family isn’t perfect. I haven’t been through anything near what you have, but we have our issues too. We all have a past, Hope. Yours isn’t gonna scare me away.” I look at her and she looks back at me, her eyes a deep blue. I almost falter at the emotion I can see swirling from within, but I catch myself. She doesn’t say anything, but I can tell that she doesn’t believe me. “I’m not going anywhere.” I say, hoping to lessen her fears. She gives me a sad smile and looks down. “We’ll see.” She whispers.

 

I sigh. “Obviously, people have hurt you, left you, and ran at the first sign of trouble. I can see it in your eyes, I can tell by your mannerisms, but I’m not them. I know I’ve only known you for a few months, but I do know that I want to get to know you better. I want to be there for you. You just need to let me.” I speak softly, calmly. She clenches her jaw and releases my fingers. She sighs. “You aren’t the first person to say that to me.” She shrugs. We fall into an uncomfortable silence.

 

I glance over at her. She’s looking down, playing with the hem of her shirt. My eyes find her jawline, then her cheekbone. She’s clenching and unclenching her jaw repeatedly. “You know, you can hurt the joint by doing that.” I mention, pointing towards her cheek. She rolls her eyes. “Stop staring at me.” She counters. I smirk. “You’re beautiful.” I state, confidently. She snaps her head to look at me. Her face shows surprise, probably at my bluntness more than anything.

 

“What?” She’s clearly giving me the opportunity to take it back. Not gonna happen. “You’re beautiful. That’s why I was staring.” I repeat. I see a blush creep its way onto her face. I smile, victoriously. She looks away and shakes her head. “If you’re trying to be charming, it’s not working.” She says, biting her lips. She can’t hide the glint in her eyes though. I tilt my head at her. No one has ever resisted against the O’Hara charm. “You sure about that?” I ask.

 

“I’m sure.” She says simply, before standing up to grab her laptop. “And I’m not beautiful.” She flops down on the bed, leaning against the wall. I turn my body to face her. “You are.” I argue. She rolls her eyes and starts typing. “You can go now.” She states, with a smirk. I scoff. “Oh, I can?”

 

“Yup. Maybe if you’re nice, we can meet for coffee tomorrow?” She speaks softly and looks at me with a questioning, almost vulnerable look on her face. “Coffee tomorrow. Sounds good. I’ll text you.” I see relief cover her features. I stand up and start to walk out. “You are too, you know.” She calls out. I turn around and look at her. Her cheeks are slowly turning a light shade of red once again. “Beautiful, I mean.” She looks back at the screen in front of her. I smile as I open the door and walk back to my room.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get this out before Christmas Eve. Next update won't be until Sunday because the next few days are going to be crazy for me! Let me know what you think! :)

Tobin POV

 

Being back in New Jersey is all too familiar. The whole family got together for Christmas and we had a pretty good time catching up. We rarely see each other during the year. My siblings don’t live around here and now I’m off at school so Christmas is the holiday that we all can come together. Alex flew out from California for New Year’s. It took some convincing on her part, to get her parents to allow her to leave during the holidays, but eventually they came around.

 

Ever since I talked to Kelley, I’ve been thinking more and more about asking Alex to be my girlfriend. I know it’s not going to change much, it’s really just a title, a label. I hate labels. With that being said, I love Alex. I love her and I’m not willing to lose her because I can’t swallow my pride. If a label is what she wants, a label is what she’s gonna get if it means I get to be with her.

 

She met my family and they hit it off pretty quickly. My family is pretty easy to get along with though, so I didn’t expect anything less. We’ve been playing board games all night, joking around and watching the New Year’s Special on TV. We watch as the clock gets closer and closer to midnight. We stand as we see the one-minute countdown begin. My siblings wobble on their feet. They’ve had way too many shots for three people to consume in one night.

 

I look at Alex, who’s standing next to me. As the countdown gets to 10 seconds, I look down at her. 9- She gives me a shy smile. 8- 7- 6- 5- 4- 3- 2- I lean in. 1- Happy New Year! I barely hear the sounds of my siblings cheering as my lips hit hers. I kiss her lovingly, before pulling away and smiling at her. I bring my mouth to her ear. “Will you be my girlfriend?” I ask, softly. I pull back and look at the surprise on her face.

 

She gives me a big smile and nods her head before kissing me once again. This time though, we’re cut off by Perry, who wraps her arms around both of us. “Happy New Year, lesbians!” She yells, drunkenly. Alex and I look at each other and laugh, before hugging her back. One thing I can say about this new year: It’s starting out right.

 

* * *

 

“Are you sure this is what you want?” We’re laying in my bed, looking at each other. My family went to sleep hours ago. “I’m sure.” I look into her eyes, which are sparkling with the light of the moon coming through the window. She glances away and bites her bottom lip. I sigh. “Lex, this is what I want. I thought about it for a long time. I know I took a while for me to come around and I’m sorry. But I want to be with you. I want to be able to call you my girlfriend.” She looks back at me.

 

“If I didn’t want this, I wouldn’t have asked you.” I say, honestly. She lets out a breathy laugh and grabs the back of my neck, pulling me into a deep kiss. I push myself up so she’s under me. She pulls back, looking at me. “I love you.” She whispers, smiling up at me. My stomach flutters. “I love you too.” I respond before kissing her again.

 

Kelley POV

 

Winter break consisted of Christmas carols, hot chocolate, and peppermint flavored everything. I spent most of it with my family, but occasionally I’d go out with my best friend from high school. I told her all about Hope, who I’ve been texting non-stop since I’ve gotten here.

I ended up going to a New Year’s party with my friends, which turned out to be a shit show. My ex-boyfriend was there and was all over me all night. Then he decided I was going to be his New Year’s kiss. As soon as the clock struck 12:00, his lips were on mine. I pushed him away and stormed out before anyone even knew what happened.

 

I’m now on my flight back to Boston and I can’t wait to see Hope. I wonder what she did for the holidays. I never asked her, I was too nervous that she would close me out again. We talked about a lot over break, from her favorite foods to her soccer stats from high school, which are really good. I learned that she was thinking about playing in college, but decided against it because she’s ‘not a good teammate.’ I don’t believe that for a second.

 

I can feel the cold air of New England before I even walk outside. We got 8 inches of snow over break. The air is crisp with the snow, the street lights shining down. From what I’ve heard, we’re supposed to be getting another storm next week, which is also when classes resume. If we’re lucky, we’ll get a snow day or two. I look around, dragging my luggage behind me, finally finding the taxi I called for.

 

As my cab approaches my building, I look outside at the frozen white powder that is covering the ground, the trees, the buildings. It’s beautiful. When we finally stop outside of my dorm, I see Hope, waiting on the steps. She’s wearing grey sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt, along with a winter hat and slippers. She smiles at me and stands, walking towards the car. She opens the door for me. “Hey, Kell.” I smile at the nickname.

 

“You didn’t have to wait for me. It’s freezing out here.” She ignores me and grabs my suitcase. I quickly pay the driver and follow her inside. When I finally catch up to her, she’s waiting outside my door, teeth chattering. “You cold or something?” I ask, sarcastically, before unlocking the door and letting us both in. She shoots me a light glare as I pass her.

 

“Well aren’t you two looking all relasionshipy?” I say, when I see Tobin and Alex cuddling on Alex’s bed. I woke up, on New Year’s Day, to 7 texts from Alex telling me all about how Tobin asked her to be her girlfriend. Alex jumps to her feet and comes to give me a hug. “How was your flight?” She asks, pulling away and heading back towards Tobin, who doesn’t look like she’s planning on getting up. I sit on my bed. “It was okay. Turbulence sucked during landing but there weren’t any crying babies, so that’s a plus.” I glance towards the door to see Hope, leaning against the doorframe with a questioning look on her face.

 

“Come on.” I say to her, motioning her in with my hand. She brings my suitcase in and closes the door behind her. I pat the bed, silently telling her to sit next to me. I look over at Alex, who has a disapproving look on her face. She’s weary of Hope, for some reason. She doesn’t trust her and thinks there’s something wrong with her. I know she’s just trying to protect me, but I can handle myself.

 

“So, Hope, what did you do over break?” Alex asks. I can see Hope stiffen at the question. Tobin sits up and looks at Hope from across the room. Hope glances at me. “I, um, stayed with a friend.” Alex scoffs. “She’s clearly lying.” She says, glancing back and forth between me and Tobin. “Leave it, Al.” I say, trying to get Hope off the hook.

 

Alex rolls her eyes and looks at Hope. “I’m not gonna leave it. She could be a murderer for all we know. I think it was a pretty simple question.” I sigh and shake my head. I look apologetically at Hope, who’s eyes are down, hands in her lap. “I didn’t do anything.” Hope mumbles. Alex perks up. “What?”

 

“I didn’t do anything.” She says, louder. All three of us are looking at her, expectantly. “What do you mean? What did you and your ‘friend’ do?” Alex asks, skeptically. “I didn’t stay with a friend, I stayed at a fucking homeless shelter, okay?” She says, looking directly at Alex, who’s face shows clear surprise. She stands up and walks out, slamming the door behind her.

 

None of us say a word, all too shocked to react. I look at Alex and stand up. “I hope you’re happy.” I say, before walking towards Tobin and holding out my hand. She understands what I want and hands me her key. “I didn’t mean to-“ I cut her off. “You didn’t mean to what? To doubt every word she says? To make her feel like shit?” I ask, angrily. I understand she’s just trying to protect my feelings, but she took this way too far. I walk towards the door.

 

I walk out and go to the next room down. I knock on the door, giving Hope a chance to let me in. When I get no response, I unlock it myself and walk in, locking it behind me. I look at her. She’s sitting on her bed, knees pulled up to her chest and she’s looking at her phone. Her eyes show no emotion. I don’t move towards her, I stand at my place near the door. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask, softly. She looks up at me. “Tell you what? That I didn’t have anywhere to go? I’m used to it, Kelley.”

 

I sigh. “You could have come with me to Georgia, we could have figured something out. You shouldn’t have spent the holidays in a shelter, by yourself.” She shakes her head. “I didn’t want to go to Georgia. I didn’t want to go to New Jersey. I didn’t want to be invited somewhere out of pity. Honestly, it doesn’t matter. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” She looks at me, seriously.

 

“Okay.” I whisper, leaning back against the door. We fall into a silence. I hear muffled talking from next door. It sounds like Tobin and Alex are having their first argument as a couple. How sweet. I roll my eyes. “Why does Alex hate me?” Hope asks. I look over at her and shrug. “She thinks you’re hiding something. I don’t know. Regardless of her reasoning, she had no right to question you like that.” She shrugs.

 

I walk over to her and sit next to her. “Next year, you’re coming to Georgia.” She gives me a small smile. “We’ll see if you still like me by then.” I roll my eyes. “You aren’t getting rid of me.” I look down at the sweatshirt she put on. Her last name is written on the sleeve. ‘SOLO’

 

“Your last name is Solo?” I ask, pointing to the writing on her shirt. She nods. “Hope Solo.” I say aloud for the first time. “It suits you.” She glances at me. “Why? Because I’m alone?” I shake my head quickly. “You aren’t alone, but you think you are. It’s like you’ve grown accustomed to being my yourself so whenever someone tries to be there for you, your first instinct is to push them away in order to protect yourself.” She shrugs. “Maybe.” I sigh and give her a small smile.

 

Tobin POV

 

“You really had to do that?” I say, moving away from her on the bed. She looks at me with guilt written on her face. “I didn’t know.” I sigh and wipe my face with my hands. “You don’t know everything, Alex. You’re literally just assuming that she has this deep, dark secret. You pushing her and being rude to her isn’t helping. She’s my friend and clearly she’s Kelley’s too so you have to stop acting like she’s this monster. You don’t even know her.” She watches as I stand up and start pacing back and forth.

 

“Neither do you. You don’t know anything about her.” I stop walking and look at her. “I know enough to know that she’s a good person who’s been through some shit in her life. You have no right to judge her for that. You have no right to make assumptions.” She sighs and runs her fingers through her hair. “Okay.” She whispers.

 

“Okay?” I ask, questioningly. “I’m sorry. I was wrong, okay? I’ll talk to her. I’ll apologize.” I sigh and walk up to her. I can see that she feels badly. Hell, I didn’t even expect Hope to tell us something like that and I live with her. I sigh and sit next to her, grabbing her face, gently, and turning it towards me. I lean in and kiss her, softly, on the lips. I pull away. “I love you.” I say, quietly. She kisses me on the cheek. “I love you too.”

 

Alex POV

 

I sigh as I stand outside of Tobin and Hope’s room. I know I have to go in there, I know I have to apologize, but something about the girl scares me. She’s intimidating, she’s closed off, she lashes out. Who knows if she’ll even hear me out or if she’s just going to kick me right out of her room. It’s been a week since everything happened, since I pushed her too far. I know I just need to get it over with.

 

I knock on the door and step back, waiting for her to answer. I hear the door knob turn. “Kell?” She says as she opens it.  Her face falls when she sees that it’s me. “Sorry to disappoint.” I look up at her, apologetically. “Can I come in?” She looks at me for a second before nodding, motioning for me to enter.

 

“Listen, I’m sorry about everything that happened. I shouldn’t have pushed.” I say after she closes the door. She shakes her head and leans against the closed door. “No, it’s fine. I get it.” She looks down. I sigh to myself. Looking at her now, I see what Tobin and Kelley see. I’ve been too focused on trying to protect Kelley that I completely missed the signs, the clear signs that she has a lot weighing her down. I see the dark bags under her eyes, the slouch of her shoulders, her skittish tendencies.

 

“It’s not fine. I don’t know what I was thinking. I want us to be able to be friends. I know you have Tobin and Kell, but I’d like us to be able to get to know each other better too. I was just trying to protect Kelley, but I see now that she’s not the one who needs the protection.” I see her furrow her eye brows, in confusion. “Why would you need to protect Kelley from me?” My eyes widen. Fuck.

 

“Well, um, I just don’t want her to get her heart broken, you know?” I blurt out. She shakes her head. “How would I break her heart if we aren-“ She cuts herself off, a look of realization covering her face. “Oh.” She says. I nod my head, slowly. “Fuck, please don’t tell her I told you. I’m the worst friend ever.” I bring my hand to my head, berating myself for my mistake. She chuckles.

 

“I kind of figured it out for myself. She’s pretty direct. But you just kind of confirmed what I already assumed.” I sigh in relief. “Good, so you won’t tell her I told you?” She smiles at me and shakes her head. “Stays between us.” She says. We fall into a comfortable silence. I walk to Tobin’s bed and lay down on my side, playing with the edge of the sheet. She sits on her desk chair and looks at me.

 

“How was soccer last season?” She asks. I shrug. “I didn’t get many minutes, as a freshman, but it was good to even be training with the team. We went 13-5-2.” She nods, slowly. “Do you play?” I ask. Tobin mentioned that she did play in high school, but I want to get to know her on my own. She nods. “Yea, I played. I was actually thinking about contacting the coach about next year.” My eyes widen.

 

“Really? What position are you?” We don’t have very many openings. Only 4 seniors are graduating this year. “Goalkeeper.” I smile. Perfect. “You should go for it! Our starter is leaving and our backup is injured.” She shrugs. “Maybe.”

 

“Maybe this weekend you can come to the indoor facility with me, Kell, and Tobi. We go every Saturday morning. We can finally have a goalkeeper to train with.” She visibly perks up at my suggestion. “Really?” I nod, quickly. “You’d be doing us a favor. Kell trained as a keeper for a month at camp one summer and now she thinks she’s the next Briana Scurry.” I roll my eyes as I speak. She laughs.

 

“Okay. But don’t cry when I stop 90 percent of your shots.” She says, jokingly. I raise my eye brows. This is the first time I’ve ever even heard her joke around. Usually she’s being closed off and isolating herself. “Oh, please. I guarantee you won’t stop any of my shots. Not even one.” She tilts her head at me, looking at me with her bright blue eyes. I really do see why Kelley is so interested in her. She’s gorgeous, but she’s so not my type. She’s no Tobin.

 

“Wanna make a bet?” It gets real. “What are you thinking?” I ask. I’m down for anything. I like having something to play for. “Loser buys everyone lunch.” I smirk. I stand up and walk over to her, holding my hand out. She shakes it, without hesitation. “Deal.”

 

Kelley POV

 

I wake up on Saturday morning ready and motivated for today. I love being able to go to the pitch with my two best friend and just have fun. Today is even better, though, because Hope’s coming. I’m really excited to see how she is in goal. She’s built like a goalkeeper, but we’ll see if she’s good enough.

 

Alex and I get ready then go next door and knock. They open the door and begrudgingly walk out. “You didn’t tell me that you guys go at 6 o’clock in the morning.” Hope rasps out. Her morning voice is probably one of the cutest sounds I’ve ever heard. Alex laughs. “Must have slipped my mind.” She says, simply. She grabs Tobin’s arm and walks beside her.

 

I look up at the tall brunette. “Good morning.” I say, excitedly. She shakes her head. “You’re a morning person. I should have known.” She gives me a smirk. I scoff and pout at her. She rolls her eyes. “Good morning, Kell.” I smile at my small victory. We arrive at the building about 10 minutes later and lace up.

 

I watch as Hope approaches the goal and stretches out. We all do the same, making small talk. Alex and Hope have a banter going between them. “You ready to get really disappointed?” Hope asks her. Alex rolls her eyes. “For a goalkeeper, you’re pretty cocky.” I raise my eye brows and look at Tobin, who looks just as confused as I am. “Okay, what is going on?” I motion between the two.

 

Hope looks at me and smirks. “Your friend, Alex, thinks she’s going to score on me every time she shoots the ball today.” She motions to Alex and crinkles her nose. It’s adorable. “I know that isn’t gonna happen. So we made a bet.” She finishes. I laugh as she sends a fake glare towards Alex. “Oh yea?” I ask. “Loser has to pay for lunch.” Alex adds, dribbling a ball.

 

“Well either way I get free lunch so..” I trail off. Tobin nods in agreement. “Alright let’s go.” Alex says, shooting the ball into the net before Hope can react. Alex smiles victoriously. “Not off to a good start, are we?” She mocks. Hope glares at her and picks up the ball from the back of the net, rolling it back towards Alex’s feet. Tobin and I stand back, content with watching how this unfolds.

 

We stay to the side of the box, while Alex sets up for another shot at the top of the box. Hope gets herself ready and watches Alex’s every move. It’s interesting to see how she reads her every movement, ready to react to the shot. Alex sends the shot in, it’s headed towards the bottom left corner. Hope dives, getting her hands on it and sending it to the side of the goal. She stands up and smirks at her. “Well, looks like I’m getting free lunch too.” She says, looking at us. Alex groans kicks at the turf.

 

After they settled their little bet, the rest of the time we spend on the pitch was pretty lighthearted. We all just messed around and tried different skills. We played a quick 2 v 2 game with Hope and I against Tobin and Alex. “Hope, let me be keeper. I’m really good.” She looks at me skeptically, but hands me her gloves anyway. I give her an excited smile in return.

 

Hope got one goal, but Alex got one by me too. We played back and forth for a while, before finally calling it a day. We’re all pretty exhausted after running for basically 2 hours straight. We pack our bags and head to a nearby restaurant. “You need to play.” Tobin says as we’re walking. Alex nods in agreement. “I mean, I don’t know how you are in an actual match, but if how you played today is any indication, you’d be the best keeper we have, easily.”

 

Hope shrugs. “I think I might. I’ve really missed playing.” I lean my shoulder into her a little bit as we’re walking. She flinches a little bit at the contact, but relaxes quickly and wraps her arm around my shoulder, giving me a small squeeze, before pulling away. We all sit down at a booth and order our drinks. We talk about soccer and next season. We also talk about summer break. Hope became rather quiet when that topic arose, but we all ignored her lack of participation in the conversation. I’ll ask her about that later. At one point, Hope placed her hand on my thigh. I looked at her, in surprise, but put my own hand over hers, letting her know it was okay.

 

Looking at her, how she fits in, how she’s interacting with my friends, with me. Thinking about everything I know about her, everything I don’t know about her. There’s nothing she could possibly tell me that would change the way I feel. Sitting at that table, watching her eyes sparkle with amusement, I realize that I’m most definitely falling for Hope Solo.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a small time lapse from last chapter to this one, but only a couple months. This is a big chapter, plot wise. I hope to update again by Tuesday or Wednesday. :)

Hope POV

 

I take short steps down the long, empty, hallway and try to gather my thoughts. I glance at the pictures of all the past athletes that line the walls, guiding me along the way. This is my last chance to make my case, to make myself look like the obvious choice. I have to talk my way onto this team and talking is something I’ve never been good at. I take a deep breath as I approach my destination.

 

I walk into her office, nervously waiting by the door. “Coach?” I say, getting her attention. “Hope. How are you? Come in. Close the door behind you.” I nod and do as she says. “Okay. So I’ll cut to the chase. I’ve seen your film from high school. I’ve seen you at our camps. You’re a great goalkeeper.” I force myself to look her in the eyes, which has always been something that I struggle with.

 

“But I talked to your high school coach. He said you have a talent for being in net, but he also said you had some problems getting along with the team. Now, as you know, Barnie is graduating this year so we have an opening. Why should I choose you over the other keepers I’ve been looking at? Yes, you may have better technical ability, but they’re more sociable. They’ll keep team morale at a high.”

 

It’s the middle of spring semester and I attended a few indoor camps with Kelley and Tobin over the last couple months. They’re pretty much shoe ins to make the team for this coming year, but me? I don’t think I have a shot. The other keepers are better, they’re younger, they’re better at interacting with the upperclassmen.

 

“I, uh, I just think that the most important part of the position is being able to interact well with my back line, my defense. I know I can stop shots, but I can also keep my back line in position and I think I proved that in camp. I know I need to improve when it comes to interacting with the other girls, but when it comes down to it, I’m the player who’s going to keep the ball out of the net.” I speak confidently and make sure to keep my shoulders squared. Jill looks at me for a couple seconds before speaking again.

 

“Okay. Thank you for coming. The roster will be emailed out later in the week.” I nod and stand, shaking her hand before walking out. That was much shorter than I expected it to be. Whether that’s a good sign or a bad sign, I’ll find out soon enough. I think it went well, but with that being said, I’m not much of a ‘people person.’

 

I walk back to my building with my hands the front pockets of my jeans. The snow is beginning to melt with the start of spring, but it’s still pretty chilly outside. Kelley should be waiting for me so we can go get lunch. She and I have gotten really close throughout the course of this semester. After everything happened with Alex, we were pretty much inseparable.

 

Something about her unwavering loyalty and lightheartedness makes me trust her. She doesn’t pressure me to talk about my past anymore, which is something I appreciate. Lately, she’s gotten almost flirty. Our usual banter has turned into sexual innuendos on her part. She’s gotten touchier as I’ve grown more comfortable with her. It’s something that should bother me, but it doesn’t.

 

I’ve known since before she left for winter break, when she didn’t get scared away by one of the more difficult aspects of my life (my parents), that she’s someone special. I’d be lying if I said I don’t have feelings for the girl. I mean, she’s beautiful, she’s funny, she’s kind, anyone would be lucky to be with her. With that being said, she doesn’t know about everything I’ve gone through. As soon as she finds out, she might leave, just like so many people have.

 

I’m not good at relationships. I always do something wrong, I’ve always had my guard up with the people I’ve been with, especially since my last disaster. Before anything can happen between us, I need to make sure she knows what she’s getting into. I’d rather have her leave me before my feelings become even stronger.

 

“How’d it go?” Kelley asks as soon as I walk through the door. She waited in my room since Tobin and Alex are in her room and I don’t even want to know what they’re doing in there. “I don’t know. She talked to my high school coach. She doesn’t think I can get along well with the team.” She furrows her eye brows. “Why does that matter? You’re the best goalkeeper at the school, easily.” I shrug.

 

“Ashlyn’s good too.” I mention. “And she gets along really well with everyone.” She rolls her eyes at me. “She might get along with them, but you’re better. No one can organize the defense as well as you do. You may not be social with the whole team, but you have a connection to your defense. That’s all that should matter.”

 

“We’ll see what she decides.” I sigh out. She nods. I put down my bag and grab my wallet. “You look pretty.” She says, looking up at me from her place on my bed. I feel my face get hot and shake my head, disagreeing with her. “Let’s go.” I say and motion her to follow me. She jumps to her feet and jogs to catch up to me. Time to eat.

 

* * *

 

 

“Are you guys done?” I ask, in frustration, looking at the three girls who are sitting on Tobin’s bed. They’ve been working on a project for the past 2 hours and it’s clearly not going well. They get distracted every five minutes and they’re being loud. I’m trying to study, but it’s a hard task when my train of thought gets broken every few minutes by laughter or yelling.

 

“No. We aren’t even half way done, yet. This project sucks.” Kelley says, looking over at me. I’m on my bed, leaning against the wall with my legs out in front of me. Tobin looks at me apologetically. “Do you want us to go somewhere else?” She asks. I shake my head. I don’t want to kick her out of her own room. “It’s fine. I’m not in the mood to study anyway.”

 

“Coach said she was gonna email the roster out today. You think she’s going to?” Kelley asks. It’s been 5 days since I had the meeting with her and none of us have heard anything. “I hope so.” Alex says. “I think you’ll all make it.” She continues. I sigh and look at the three of them. “You nervous, Solo?” Tobin asks. She and I have built a pretty solid friendship during our time being roommates. “I’m expecting the worst, that way I won’t be disappointed when I don’t make it.” I say, honestly.

 

Kelley rolls her eyes at me. “Jill’s an idiot if she doesn’t take you.” I shrug. “If I don’t, I’ll try again next year.” Maybe. I really just want to get them off my back about it. Tobin and Alex go back to trying to figure out their project, while Kelley looks at me. She stands up and walks over to me. I watch as she crawls onto the bed and straddles my knees. “You’re gonna make it.” She says.

 

Just as I open my mouth to respond, Tobin’s phone goes off, followed by Kelley’s, Alex’s, and mine. “Roster!” Alex yells when she sees that it’s an email from Jill. Kelley jumps off of me to get to her phone. I grab my own and read down the list of names. I see a few familiar names, including Ali Krieger and Ashlyn Harris. As soon as I see Ashlyn’s name, my heart sinks. That takes away one of the two open keeper positions.

 

I continue down the list to see Alex’s name, along with Tobin and Kelley’s. The three of them are already celebrating, hugging each other. My own face breaks into a smile when I get to the bottom of the list to see my name. Kelley bounces over to me and pulls me to my feet while Alex and Tobin celebrate together. I stand up and hug her, tightly. “We made it!” She says, happily. I smile and pull back. Our faces are closer than expected. I glance down at her lips, then back to her eyes, challengingly. She leans forward and brings her lips to my cheek. She pulls away and turns around to hug Alex, once again.

 

I bring my hand to my face, where her lips met skin. There’s no doubt in my mind that my face is bright red right now. I shake myself out of it and walk over to Tobin, giving her a short hug. “Looks like we’ll be spending even more time together.” I mention. Tobin and Alex nod in agreement. Kelley gives me smirk, sending chills down my spine. This is gonna be an interesting year.

 

* * *

 

 

 

We’re sitting in my room, on my bed. We only have two weeks left of classes before summer break. “Will you please just come to Georgia with me?” I groan. She’s been begging me to come with her over summer break. I honestly don’t know where I’m gonna go for the next few months until the dorms open again, but I don’t want to be someone’s charity case. “Kell, I’m gonna figure something out. I’ll get an apartment or something.”

 

“Why? It would be so much fun! I could show you around my town.” She pouts at me. I roll my eyes. “Maybe. That’s the best you’re gonna get.” I’m really just trying to get her to stop asking me about it. I sigh and lean back against the wall. “I need you to protect me from my ex. He still has feelings for me and I literally hate him.” I tense. “Why do I need to protect you? Is he aggressive?” I’m immediately concerned.

 

She shakes her head. “Well, obviously not. I’d never let him be abusive or anything, but he did kiss me on New Year’s.” I clench my jaw. _Let him be abusive_. I bite my tongue. “Oh.” I say. She sighs. “He’s just very forward with his feelings. I need you to come with me.” I shake my head. “You’re trying to guilt me into this?” She nods. “Yup.” At least she’s being honest.

 

“My ex-boyfriend pushed me around.” I mention, casually. Now seems like a decent time to bring it up. If I’m gonna even considering to go to Georgia with her, she should know the truth first.  She looks at me with wide eyes. “What? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“ She cuts herself off and takes a second to gather her thoughts. “What do you mean he ‘pushed you around’?” She finishes. I sigh. I haven’t talked to anyone about this since I had to testify against him.

 

“It was nothing, really. He hit me a couple times.” I play it off. She doesn’t need to know the details. She doesn’t need to know about the time that he went too far. I was in the hospital for two weeks. She looks at me with furrowed eye brows. “That’s not ‘nothing’, Hope. He should have never put his hands on you.” I nod, in agreement. “When were you with him?” She asks. I take a deep breath before beginning.

 

“I got with him my junior year of high school. A lot happened. All that you need to know is that he got me pregnant.” I pause and look at her reaction. Her face shows pure shock. I continue, “I had the baby. It was fine for a little while but then one night, she just wouldn’t stop crying. I think she was sick or something. Tom, he went to ‘check on her’, and she just stopped crying. I was so relieved, I thought he had finally calmed her down.” I pause and bite my lips, trying to will myself not to cry.

 

“She didn’t make a peep for the rest of the night. I went to get her in the morning to feed her and she wasn’t breathing.” I glance up at Kelley, who’s looking back at me with wide-eyes. “He didn’t admit to anything, but I knew what happened. I saw it in his eyes that he was at fault. Come to find out, her cause of death was shaken baby syndrome. He shook her, that night. He literally shook the life out of her. He went to jail for murder last year.” I finish, keeping my eyes down. This is normally the part of the conversation where I get yelled at for being a ‘terrible mother.’ Everyone who knows about it, which is pretty much the whole state of Washington, blames me for what happened. It’s my fault that she’s gone. I should have taken my baby and left him.

 

Kelley still hasn’t said a word. I glance at her to see her eye brows furrowed and a look of disgust on her face. “I shouldn’t have said anything.” I say, quietly. “Why didn’t you leave him? I mean, he abused you, why wouldn’t you take your baby away from him?” I clench my jaw. Here it comes. “I was scared.”

 

“Well I’m sure the baby was too.” She says. I shift, uncomfortably, on the bed. “I know.” I whisper. I think about Hadley Every. Single. Day. of my life. She’s always on my mind. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t regret how I handled it. I should have taken her and ran away to somewhere safe. I should have never brought her into a dangerous situation, but I did. Now I have to live with it.

 

I feel her hand cup my face. I jump at the unexpected contact. She takes her hand away, slightly, at my reaction, but then brings it back and turns my face so I’m forced to look at her. As we make eye contact, I can’t keep my tears at bay any longer. I feel a lone tear fall down my face. She catches it with her thumb and wipes it away. “When did all of this happen?” She whispers.

 

I take a deep breath. “I found out I was pregnant in April of my senior year. That’s the main reason I didn’t leave go to college. I had been planning on leaving him, but when I got pregnant, I thought I was stuck. I had her on December 20th. She died on January 14th.” She guides my head down and places a lingering kiss on my forehead. I feel chills go through my body.

 

“He was put away?” I nod. “They didn’t release him on bail. It took them a year and a half to go through trial, but he was found guilty the summer before I came here.” She pulls me into her and hugs me. I clench my jaw in an effort to hold in my tears. “It’s gonna be okay.” She whispers into my hair.

 

I let her hold me for a couple of minutes before I pull away and wipe my face of the few tears that escaped. “I’m sorry.” I say to her. She shakes her head. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” I pull back and shake my head at myself. “I shouldn’t have told you. Fuck.”

 

“Why?” I scoff. “Because you’re gonna leave, just like they all do.” She looks almost hurt by my words. “I don’t know how many more times I can tell you that I’m not going anywhere, Hope.” I roll my eyes. “That doesn’t mean anything.” I feel my walls quickly coming back up. She shakes her head and stands up. “I’m just gonna go. Clearly you need some time alone.” She walks, with purpose, towards the door.

 

“Kell, wait.” I call out to her, quickly walking towards her. She stops and turns around to face me. I approach her, she walks backwards until her back is against the door. She looks up at me with bright, expectant, eyes. Without thinking, I lean in and kiss her, taking her bottom lip between mine and sucking on it gently. It’s only then do I notice that she’s not kissing me back. I feel dread fill my body as I pull back and look down at my feet. She looks up at me in shock and brings her hand to her lips. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, I don’t know what I was thinking.” I whisper. Stepping backwards.

 

Kelley POV

 

I feel Hope’s lips on mine before I can react. My back is against the door and I’m frozen, in shock. I didn’t think she had any romantic feelings towards me. I must take too long to reciprocate because she pulls back and looks down, with a crestfallen look on her face. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, I don’t know what I was thinking.” She whispers, taking a step away from me. I see her face turn a light shade of pink. What just happened? One second we’re arguing and the next second she’s kissing me? It’s just a lot for me to process at once.

 

My train of thought is snapped by the sound of her voice. “It’ll never happen again.” She whispers, sadly. My chest aches at how small her voice sounds. I look up at her as she turns around and grabs her jacket, putting it on. “I’m gonna go.” She whispers. She grabs the door handle and looks at me, expectantly, waiting for me to move so she can leave.

 

I make a split-second decision and grab her jacket pockets and pull her towards me, gently. I lean up and connect our lips, once again. This time though, she pulls away. “Kell, don’t do this unless you want it.” I ignore her and pull her back into me, turning us around so she’s pressed back against the door. I slide my lips against hers, gently. There’s nothing rushed about it, just us familiarizing ourselves with each other. I give her one, last, lingering kiss before pulling back. She looks down at me with vulnerability written across her face. She’s expecting me to reject her.

 

“What was that?” I ask. She backs away. “It was nothing.” I roll my eyes. “Stop closing me out and just tell me, Hope. I have feelings for you. I just need to know if you feel the same way or if you were just reacting to everything that just happened.” She perks up at my revelation. “You..you have feelings for me?” I nod my head. “I do.”

 

She sighs and looks at me. She bites her bottom lip, nervously. “I don’t want to hurt you.” I shrug. “I don’t want to hurt you either.” She brings a hand to her head and sighs again. “You really still want to be friends with me after everything I just told you?” I look down. Honestly? When she told me that her ex abused her, I wasn’t surprised. I assumed that she had been through some sort of abusive situation. I could tell just by watching how she interacts with people.

 

I didn’t expect her to have been a mother though. I can’t even imagine the pain she felt, the pain she still feels. I can see why some people think she should have left him and taken her baby away from the danger. I agree that she shouldn’t have stayed with him. At that point, it wasn’t just herself that she was putting in danger, but it was another life. Another tiny, helpless life. But it is not her fault that he is a bad man. It’s not her fault that he abused her and it’s definitely not her fault that he decided to shake their child to death. I feel sick at the thought.

 

I glance up at the woman in front of me, who refuses to look at me. “Of course I still want to be friends, Hope. We do need to talk about what just happened though.” She turns her head so I can’t see her face. I bring my hand out and lightly touch her wrist. She snaps her head to look at me. “What is there to talk about? It was nothing, like I said.” I sigh, in frustration.

 

“Okay, well here’s the deal. I have feelings for you. What you’ve been through hasn’t changed that. I’m assuming, by you kissing me, that you have some sort of feelings for me too. I’m gonna go, I’m gonna give you time to think and I need time to digest everything. So, just let me know when you know what you want.” I turn around and open the door, walking out before she can respond.

 

I stand in the hallway for a second to gather myself. I’m completely overwhelmed with information. Hope was in an abusive relationship. Hope had a child. Hope’s abusive boyfriend murdered her child. That’s something that you only hear about on the news, I never thought I’d know someone who’s been through something like that. Then Hope kissed me. I felt a spark, a connection, but did she? Does she even have feelings for me or was it a spur of the moment thing? I guess only time will tell and I’ll just have to wait for her to want to talk about it.

 

* * *

 

It's been almost a week and I haven’t heard anything from Hope. It’s been radio silence on her end. I’ve tried texting her and calling her, but she hasn’t responded. Tobin mentioned that she only comes to the room to sleep. I just hope she’s okay, I hope she’s not planning on closing me out forever. She’s scared, I get that, but I am too. I’ve never been in a situation like this, I’ve never felt the way I do about her.

 

I walk slowly to my final class of the semester. Finals are next week and I’ve been trying to distract myself from Hope by studying. Tobin and Alex have figured out that something is wrong between Hope and I, but they haven’t pushed me to talk about it, which I appreciate. I can’t tell them what happened without telling them about Hope’s past and I could never do that to her, completely break her trust.

 

Right before I walk into my building, I glance to my right and make eye contact with clear blue eyes. I stop, looking at her for a couple seconds. She turns to leave and I immediately take off to follow her. I haven’t missed a class all semester, missing the last one, where we’re just doing final prep, isn’t gonna hurt me. “Hope” I call out to her. She doesn’t turn around. She walks quickly down the sidewalk, looking at her phone. I start jogging, in an effort to catch up. Once I reach her, I walk next to her, glancing up every couple of seconds.

 

“Why are you ignoring me?” I ask her. She sighs and finally puts her phone in her pocket. She grabs my right arm and pulls me towards a bench. “I’m scared.” She says as she sits down next to me. I roll my eyes at her. “I’m scared too, Hope. Don’t you see that?” I’m starting to get frustrated. Does she really not see that I’m struggling with this too?

 

“I know. I know you are.” She whispers. I sigh and look around at all the students making their way to their classes. I glance over at her. I can see that she’s having a hard time coming to terms with everything. She looks at me before continuing. “I just, I’ve been with a girl before, so it’s not that. I’ve just never felt as strongly as I do about you. I’ve never had such strong feelings and when I kissed you, I felt a connection and it scares the shit out of me. I don’t know if you felt it too and if you didn’t then just be honest with me.”

 

I raise my eye brows at her and look into her vulnerable eyes. I can see the doubt, the uncertainty that she’s feeling. “I felt it.” I tell her, watching as relief replaces the doubt. “Are you sure? You aren’t just sayi-“ I cut her off. “I’m sure.” She nods her head, slowly. “So what do we do now?” She asks.

 

I glance down and shrug my shoulders. “The ball is in your court. I’d like to see where this goes. I’d like for you to come to Georgia with me so we can figure all this out. But if that’s not what you want, I’m not gonna pressure you into it, I’m not gonna hold it against you. If you’d prefer to stay here, we can still talk and skype or whatever. But it’d make things a lot harder.” I steel myself for her to deny my invitation, once again.

 

“What if it doesn’t work out? What if I come with you and we fight all the time or we realize we aren’t compatible?” I tilt my head. That’s a good point. “Then you can come back here or go to New Jersey to hang out with Tobin or you can just stay in Georgia and we’ll tough it out.” She doesn’t respond. She looks down at her fingers and clenches her jaw. “You didn’t tell Tobin about what I told you, right?” I falter a little bit at the unexpected question.

 

“I wouldn’t do something like that. If you want her to know then you can tell her on your terms, same with Alex.” She nods in response. “Do your parents know that you like girls? Are we gonna have to hide the whole summer?” I shake my head. “We don’t have to hide anything; they know I’m a lesbian.” She furrows her eye brows at me. “But you have an ex-boyfriend?” I laugh. “I was with him when I was a freshman in high school. He’s just really immature. He doesn’t comprehend the fact that I don’t like guys.”

 

She lets out a soft sigh. “Your parents are okay with me coming?” I smile. She’s finally coming around to the idea. “They’re totally fine with it. We’ll stay in the guest house for the summer so we don’t have them hovering over us.” She bites her lips and nods. “Okay.” I smile, brightly. She looks at me with a small smirk. “Okay? You’re coming to Georgia?”

 

“I’m coming to Georgia.” I stand up and grab her hand, tugging her to her feet and pulling her in for a hug. She tenses at first, but relaxes quickly into me. “You have to try a Georgia peach though.” She pulls away and cringes. “Peaches are gross.” I scoff. “They are not. You’re having one.” She sighs, dramatically. “Fine.” I smile, victoriously and tug at her hand. “Come on. We have to get you packed and book your flight.”

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry! This is so late! I have no excuse other than the fact that I really struggled with this chapter and I was too drunk last night to write much of anything. I'll post another chapter tomorrow if that makes up for it at all.
> 
> In other news, I just made a USWNT/O'Solo side blog on tumblr. Feel free to follow and/or shoot me questions/prompts! HSolo1995

Hope POV

 

As we step outside, pulling our luggage behind us, I immediately feel the warm Georgia air hit my face. “Home sweet home.” Kelley says, smiling up at me, eyes sparkling with excitement. “Kelley!” I hear someone yell. I look to my left to see an older version of Kelley walking towards us and wrapping her in an embrace.

 

“Hi, mom.” She says, giving me a smile over her mother’s shoulder. I stay back as Kelley reunites with her parents. I introduce myself to them, being as polite as I can be. Clearly, Kelley’s parents are extremely important to her which means I need them to like me. I help Dan put our luggage in the car and get in the backseat with Kelley.

 

“So, Hope, Kelley told me you’re from Washington? What made you choose to move to Boston?” I stiffen. I just really hope none of her family members google me. They’ll find a whole mess of reasons why Kelley shouldn’t be with me. “I went there in middle school for a field trip. I just kind of fell in love with the city. So when I was choosing colleges, Boston was my number one choice.” Karen smiles back at me. “That’s great. Kelley loves it there too.” I smile at her and nod my head.

 

“So are you girls ready for soccer next year? I’ve heard that you made the team too, Hope. What position do you play?” I sigh in relief at the change of subject. “Goalkeeper.” He raises his eye brows at me, looking in the rear view mirror. “Wow. So maybe Kelley will be on your backline, then?” I open my mouth to respond, but Kelley cuts in. “Dad, I probably won’t start. We have 2 more experienced outside backs.”

 

“So what? Just work hard, kid. You’re talented enough to take anyone’s starting position.” I smile, softly, at the interaction. I look at the way Kelley’s face lights up at her father’s words. It’s something I never experienced, having a parent who supported me. Kelley looks over at me and gives me a small smile. I return the gesture and give her a wink.

 

We pull into driveway a half hour later. We drive down the long path and finally reach a relatively large house, along with a medium sized house a few hundred yards away, which I can only assume to be the guest house. I step out of the car and look around at the many acres of land that surrounds us. “Do you own all of this?” I ask, in surprise. Kelley never told me that she grew up with 10 acres (at least) to run around on. “Oh yea. We’ve got all of it. Maybe Kelley will bring you out on the four wheeler and show you around.” Dan says. I nod, in response.

 

Dan and I grab the bags out of the back of the SUV. “Alright, Kell. Go show Hope the guest house. You two can get settled in. Dinner is at 6.” He says, handing me both of the suitcases. I nod at him and follow Kelley to the guest house, which, in itself, is easily bigger than the home I grew up in.

 

“This place is huge.” I mention. Kelley glances at me. “The guest house?” I nod. “Yea. And the main house, and just the land in general.” She shrugs and motions for me to follow her inside. We walk through the front door and she leads me to the bedrooms. She offers me the master bedroom, but I wave her off. “It’s your house. You should have the biggest room.” She begrudgingly agrees, knowing I wasn’t gonna change my mind.

 

We spend the afternoon settling in. We both take showers and get ready for dinner. By the time we’re ready, it’s time for us to head over to the main house. “Are your siblings gonna be there?” I ask, nervously. It’s not that I don’t want to meet them, I just don’t make good first impressions. Hell, when I met Kelley I basically body checked her to the ground. Yes, it was an accident, but still.

 

“Of course. They’re really excited to meet you.” I give her a tight smile. She looks at me with soft, reassuring eyes. “They’re really easy-going, Hope. You have nothing to worry about.” I sigh and nod in response. We walk to the main house side by side. I take a deep breath before stepping in the front door, behind Kelley, who’s immediately bombarded with hugs from her siblings.

 

“I missed you guys so much.” I hear Kelley whisper to them. I stand off to the side, allowing them to have a couple minutes to themselves. After greeting each other, Kelley extends her hand out, motioning to me. “This is Hope.” She says. I smile at them and shake their hands. Jerry and Erin go into the living room where Dan and John are watching a baseball game. “Come on, I’ll show you around.” Kelley says, grabbing my hand and leading me down the hallway.

 

We sit down for dinner only about a half hour after arriving. There’s enough food to feed a small army. Grilled chicken, steak tips, turkey burgers, salad, pasta salad, and potatoes. I’m sitting next to Kelley and Erin. Everyone jokes around over dinner and I, luckily, didn’t have to talk very much. Just laughed at Jerry’s shitty jokes and flew under the radar.

 

Seeing the way that they are, as a family, is very different for me. It’s something I didn’t have growing up. It’s something that I probably don’t deserve to ever have in my life. I think that one of the reasons I stayed with Tom, even after he hurt me so badly, was my hope that one day, he would change. A part of me thought that when Hadley was born, he would be a good man, he would change for our little girl, we could have a family. It was the worst decision of my life.

 

My train of thought is broken by my name being said. “Hope, how’re you liking Georgia so far?” Erin asks, looking over at me. “It’s gorgeous, from what I’ve seen. Hopefully, I’ll get to see more of it throughout the summer.” Karen jumps in. “Oh, you will. Kelley will make sure of it.” She gives Kelley a pointed look. I look at Kelley and smirk. She nods at her mom. “Yes, mother.” She says, sarcastically.

 

After dinner, everyone starts heading out. I think the night went pretty well. I didn’t talk much, but when I did, I didn’t fuck it up. Kelley and I walk through the front door of the guest house. “That went well.” Kelley mentions, as she flops down onto the couch. I look over at her, with furrowed eye brows. “You didn’t think it was going to?”

 

“I thought they were gonna shoot off question after question at you.” I tilt my head. “Why would they do that?” She shrugs. “They’re nosy. I was worried they were gonna ask about your past, to be honest.” Why was she worried? Does she not want them to know? “Why?” I ask. “I don’t know. I just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” I sit down on the recliner across from her.

 

“What if they do ask? I’m gonna be here all summer, it’s probably gonna come up at some point. What do you want me to do?” She perks up at the question and thinks for a few seconds before responding. “Tell them? I don’t know, it’s up to you. I know you don’t like talking about it.”

 

“We’ll see.” I lean back in the chair and close my eyes. From what I’ve seen of Kelley’s family, they’re pretty amazing. I just don’t know how they’d react to someone like me being with Kelley. I’m far from perfect, I probably don’t deserve someone like her and I know it. I just hope that maybe they can see past everything and accept me, just like she has.

 

We walk to our rooms not too long after we arrive back. It’s been a long day of travelling and socializing. I’m exhausted. “I’ll show you around tomorrow.” Kelley mentions, as we walk down the hallway. I nod as let out a long yawn. She gives me a smirk as we get to out bedroom doors. “Go get some sleep.” She says, softly, looking up at me. “You too.” I respond. She looks at me questioningly for a few seconds before leaning up to kiss me. I kiss her back for a few seconds before pulling away. “Goodnight, Kell.”

 

* * *

 

 

The next few days are spent settling in. We haven’t done much, other than junk food that we probably shouldn’t be eating and watch shitty reality TV shows. Kelley and I have been good. We haven’t necessarily talked about our feelings for each other, but we haven’t really hidden them either.

 

Today, though? Today, I wake with a start when I hear my name being called. I immediately sit up and look at Kelley, who’s standing in the doorway to my room. “You okay?” I call out, groggily. It’s still dark outside. The clock to the side of my bed reads ‘4:30’. “Wake up and get ready.” I scoff and shake my head. “I’m going back to sleep.” I lay back down and roll over so my back is turned towards her.

 

“Hope, please?” Her voice sounds closer than it was before. I ignore her. After a few seconds of silence, I think I’ve gotten her to leave, but before I know it, I feel her crawl into bed next to me. “I want to take you somewhere, but I can’t do that if you won’t get out of bed.” Where in the world could she want to take me at 4:30 in the fucking morning?

 

“Where are you trying to take me? It’s still fucking dark outside.” I say, grumpily. I hear her sigh next to me. I honestly don’t know why I’m fighting her on this..I’m gonna end up giving in and I know it. “Will you just get your lazy ass up? I’ll make you coffee.” I roll over and look at her pleading face. “Fine.” I whisper, exasperatedly.

 

She smiles at me, before bouncing out of the room. I roll my eyes at the sight. How does someone have so much energy this early? It’s not human. I sit up, once again, and rub the sleep from my eyes. This is going to be a long day.

 

Kelley POV

 

I lead Hope outside and to the shed, which is right next to the guest house. “What are we doing?” She asks, as I open the large door. “You’ll see.” I turn on the flashlight that I brought with me and search through the sets of keys that are hung next to the door. I glance at Hope, who’s dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt, hair falling down her shoulders.

 

“Here we go.” I say when I finally find what I’m looking for. I hop onto my large, blue, four-wheeler and pat the space behind me. “Get on.” Her face drops and she quickly shakes her head. “Oh, come on. Get on. Aren’t you supposed to be a badass? I mean you are a goalkeeper, it’s basically a requirement.” She shoots me a glare as she gives in and makes her way over to me.

 

“Do you even know how to drive this thing?” She says, loudly, in my ear over the sound of the running engine. I scoff as I hand her a helmet. “I grew up here, of course I do.” I slide my own helmet on my head and make sure she’s settled before I take off, pulling carefully out of the shed.

 

We make our way through the field, before I pull us onto a very familiar trail. Hope holds the bars behind her, leaning back and away from me. The small headlight of the machine lights our way as I bring us further and further down the trail. I’ve been through here hundreds of times with my family.

 

She sits, silently, for most of the ride. At one point, she’s convinced she’s seen a bear. “Hope, it wasn’t a bear.” I respond, reassuringly. Honestly, it might have been a bear, but she doesn’t need to know that. I just press on the gas a little bit harder and get us out of the area. The long trek comes to an end about a half hour after we left the shed. “Here.” I yell out, turning my head slightly so Hope hears me.

 

We both step off and remove our helmets. I look out at the view, which isn’t very visible yet with the darkness of the sky. “What is this place?” She asks, walking around the table and chairs. “It’s kind of like a little family get away.” I respond. She stops and looks at me, leaning back against the picnic table. “We come here sometimes in the summer to camp. It’s probably one of my favorite places.”

 

Hope nods at me and turns on her flashlight. “So why did you bring me here?” She asks, softly, moving the light around the site. I make my way over to her and lean against the table next to her. “You’ll see.” I repeat my answer from earlier. She can be patient about this. She won’t have to wait much longer.

 

I look off into the distance and see the glow of the sun just barely starting to peek its way above the line of the horizon. “Stay here.” I say to Hope, who looks at me skeptically. I walk the distance back to the four-wheeler to grab the blanket I brought along with us.

 

“Come here.” I motion for her to follow me. I set the blanket down and we both sit, in silence. We look at the, barely visible, glow of the rising sun “Do you think your family likes me?” Hope blurts out. I glance at her, but she’s looking off into the distance, clearly deep in thought. “Yes. Why wouldn’t they?” She shrugs and leans back on her elbows.

 

“I don’t know.” I roll onto my side so I’m facing her, propping my body up on my elbow. I reach out and touch her hand, hoping to get her attention. “I just don’t want to mess it up. I know that you’re okay with my past and everything, but I don’t know if your family will be. They aren’t gonna want you to be with someone like me.” She sits up and sits cross legged, while I move closer to her.

 

“Where is all this coming from?” I ask. She’s been fine the past few days from what I’ve seen. I sit up next to her and place my hand on her lower back. “They’re not going to judge you. I don’t know, exactly, how they’ll react, but I really don’t think you have anything to worry about.” She clenches her jaw, my attempt at reassuring her failing miserably.

 

“Hope, regardless of what they say or what they think, I’m not just gonna leave you. I don’t care what they think. Hell, if you don’t want to tell them, you don’t have to. We can play it off for as long as we can.” She shrugs and finally looks at me. “I don’t want to lie to them. That’ll just make it worse.” I nod in response. “Okay.”

 

“If they ask, I’ll tell them.” She concludes, giving a slight nod. I give her a small smile. “You have nothing to worry about.” She bites her bottom lip, before leaning in and giving me a soft kiss. I move my hand up to cup her face and she brings hers to the back of my neck, pulling me closer. I run my tongue along her bottom lip, asking for entrance, which she quickly grants.

 

I pull away after a short time and lean my forehead against hers. “It’ll all work itself out.” I whisper. She nods against me, looking at me with doubtful eyes. I move my lips to her forehead, giving it a lingering kiss, before pulling back and sliding myself closer to her. She puts her arm around me and I lean into her side, laying my head on her collarbone.

 

We watch, silently, as the sun rises. I glance up at her, her hair blowing slightly with the light breeze. She looks beautiful, almost peaceful. As soon as the sun is high above the horizon line, I pull back and look at her. “Aren’t you glad you woke up for this?” I ask, confidently. She rolls her eyes. “Don’t get cocky.” She responds, standing. “But yes, I’m glad I woke up.” She finishes, extending her hand to help me up.

 

“Can I drive?” She asks, as we walk back to the four-wheeler for the ride home. I laugh at the question. “I’d like to stay alive, thanks though.” She rolls her eyes and snatches the keys from my hand. “Teach me how to drive!” She says, smirking. I shake my head, quickly, and reach for the keys. She’s quicker, though, and brings them high above her head, extending her arm in the air, keys dangling from her fingers.

 

I shoot her a heavy glare and try to jump to reach them with no success. “Hope, give me the keys.” I say, demandingly. She laughs at me in response and shakes her head. “Teach me how to drive it.” She counters. I give it one more try and grab her arm, trying to force the keys lower so I can reach them, but she’s stronger. I groan, dramatically, before getting an idea.

 

I lean in, slowly, looking into her eyes. She raises her eyebrows and glances to my lips. I bring my lips to hers, tenderly, and bring my hands to the back of her neck. She sucks on my bottom lip, almost too roughly, and I let out a soft moan. The sound must encourage her, because next thing I know, I’m pressed back against the side of the four-wheeler with her thigh between my legs.

 

I sigh into her mouth and pull her closer. I feel her hands cup my face and I quickly grab the keys out of her hand. My action doesn’t seem to faze her as she doesn’t hesitate in bringing her, newly free, hand to my lower back, lifting my shirt up slightly to feel the skin underneath. I feel the heat quickly rising between us, so I pull back. I look up at her, breathing heavily.

 

She looks down at me with blown pupils. I feel a heat move straight to my core with the sight. She looks at my hands, seeing the keys securely placed around my forefinger. “Are you kidding?” She says, raising her eye brows. “You did all of that so you could get out of teaching me how to ride this thing?” She asks, grabbing one of the handle bars.

 

I smirk and shake my head. “I’ll teach you. Just not now. The trail is too narrow for you to learn on. I’ll teach you in the field when we get back.” She rolls her eyes. “Fine.” She puts on her helmet and sits on the back, waiting for me to do the same.

 

I shake my head at her poutiness, but start the machine. I look back at her and see that she’s holding onto the safety bars. I reach back and grab her hands, bringing them around my waist. “What are you doing?” She says, loudly, against my shoulder. “It’s safer this way.” I wink at her through my visor. She holds me tightly for the entire ride home, occasionally running her fingers over my stomach, sending chills through my body.

 

* * *

 

 

Teaching Hope how to ride a four-wheeler is pretty easy. It’s really not the most difficult thing in the world. You push on the gas to go; you press on the brake to stop. Pretty simple. Soon, we’re both riding around the field and she has no issue steering around the trees.

 

We ride until we both get hungry. “Let’s go find lunch.” I yell, motioning for her to follow me. After putting the machines back into the shed, we change into different clothes and take my car into town, stopping at the grocery store to pick up something to make for lunch. “I don’t know how to cook very well, so we’re gonna have to go with something pre-made.” I say as we walk into the shop. She scoffs at me with an amused look on her face. “I can cook. What do you want?” She asks.

 

I look at her, skeptically, for a few seconds. “You can cook?” She smirks and gives me a confident nod. “If you say so.” I look past her, across the store to see Jay, looking right back at me. My stomach drops and I widen my eyes, looking for a way to avoid him. “Shit. My ex is here, follow me.” I say, rushing past her. I hear her following behind me. I quickly lead us to the opposite end of the store, in the dairy department.

 

Hope looks at me, when we finally come to a stop. “You’re just gonna avoid him?” I look up at her and nod. “Yes, that was the plan.” She rolls her eyes. “Whatever, what are we getting? I’m starving.” I sigh and look the aisle. “I don’t know.”

 

We look around the store for about 15 minutes before finally deciding to keep it simple with chicken and vegetables. Hope goes to get chicken while I’m in the vegetable department. I’m searching through the peppers, trying to find some that meet my standards, when hear my name being called. “Kelley? I didn’t know you were back in town.” I feel dread fill my body as I turn around. “Hey, Jay.” I grab some peppers quickly, trying to make it seem like I’m in a rush.

 

He approaches me and opens his arms, pulling me into an uncomfortable hug. I pull back. “I’m sorry, I really have to go.” I say, looking up at him. He reaches out to touch my arm. “You never texted me or anything after New Year’s.” He says, a disappointed look on his face. I roll my eyes at him. “Why would I?” He shrugs. “Because we kissed? I thought maybe you’d want to talk about it.” I scoff at him.

 

“First of all, you kissed me. Second of all, I don’t want to talk about it because I have no interest in you, Jay. When are you gonna get it through your head that I don’t date men?” I speak, quietly, not wanting to cause a scene. He furrows his eye brows and takes a step towards me. “Kelley, you don’t look like one of _them_. You don’t look like a dyke.” I falter at his words, raising my eye brows at him, challengingly. I feel anger fill my body.

 

Just when I open my mouth to respond, Hope walks up beside me. “Everything okay?” She asks me. I nod. “He was just leaving.” I say, pointedly looking at him. He laughs a little bit at my words. “Who are you?” He looks at Hope, who has her defenses are up. “This is my girlfriend.” I say, before she can reply. She looks at me, in surprise. I look back at her, pleadingly, before looking at the boy in front of us. “Jay, just leave. I have absolutely no interest in you.”

 

He shakes his head and takes a step backwards. “You know what? You’re not worth my time. You’re just a dyke. Both of you are disgusting.” He says, loudly, before walking away. I see Hope visibly stiffen and she immediately takes a step forward to follow him. I grab her arm before she can go any further. “He isn’t worth it.” I whisper, hoping to calm her down. She relaxes into my touch and nods her head. “Let’s just get out of here.” I nod in agreement and we head to the registers, trying to get out of the store without any further altercation.

 

The ride home is silent, both of us digesting everything that just occurred. After about 15 minutes of driving, I break the silence. “I’m sorry you had to be a part of that. He’s such an asshole.” I say, hoping to break the tension that’s arisen. She looks over at me from the passenger side. “Not your fault.” She says, giving me a small smile. I sigh. “Are you upset that I called you my girlfriend? Because I was really just trying to get him to go aw-“ She cuts off my rant. “Kell, I know. You don’t have to explain yourself. We aren’t together, I get it.” She doesn’t look at me, instead keeping her eyes glued out the window. I tilt my head and glance over at her. Why does she sound so bitter?

 

I put on my blinker and pull to the side of the road. “What are you doing?” She asks. I put the car in park and take off my seatbelt so I can turn to face her. “Are you upset that I called you my girlfriend or are you upset that you aren’t my girlfriend?” I speak slowly, trying to gauge her reaction. She tilts her chin up and leans back in her seat.

 

“I’m not upset about anything.” She says, shortly. I roll my eyes. “I’m not gonna push you, Hope. If you want to tell me why you’re mad, I’m willing to listen, but I’m not going to sit here and beg you to talk to me.” She just shakes her head at me, in response. I sigh, in frustration, and face forward, knowing I’m not gonna get anything out of her right now. I put the car in drive, pulling back on the roadway. I’ll try to talk to her again later, but for now, I guess I’ll just have to give her space.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angsty chapter, sorry! I'll keep you updated on the next chapter via tumblr. This is gonna be a busy week for me so we'll see when I can get the next one out, but I'll do my best! Let me know what you think! :)

Kelley POV

 

It’s been two weeks and Hope still hasn’t talked to me about why she was so upset after we left the store. Once we arrived back at the house, her attitude shifted and she was fine again but that’s not to say there’s nothing wrong. Hope hides her emotions better than anyone I’ve ever met.

 

I’ve thought through everything that happened that day and everything that was said and I still can’t decipher what made her so upset. The only conclusion I came to was that she has to be upset that I called her my girlfriend when we aren’t really together. But does she even want to be together? I thought she said she wanted to take things slow between us, which is why I haven’t tried to take it a step forward with her.

 

I know we need to talk about it. She’s been uncharacteristically guarded with me since that day and I need to get through to her. I said I’d give her space and I have. I’ve given her 14 days to digest everything, now we need to talk about it. I’m done with feeling an awkward tension coming from her every time I go in for a kiss or try to touch her at all, even just to hold her hand.

 

* * *

 

 

“You ready?” I ask, as I walk into the living room. It’s 5:45 and we have to get over to the main house to have dinner with my parents. She nods and turns off the TV, giving me a forced smile. We walk together, in silence. She still gets nervous when we have dinner with my parents. I think it’s endearing that she puts out so much of an effort to get them to like her, even though they already do.

 

“Mom? Dad? We’re here.” I yell out, once we’re through the door. “Dinner will be ready soon. Go sit in the living room.” I hear my mom call back. I turn to Hope and give her a kiss on the cheek. She falters a little bit at the action, but gives me a small smile, in return.

 

We sit in the living room for about 20 minutes before dinner is finally ready. As soon as we walk into the dining room to eat, I know something is up. My mom has a fake smile plastered onto her face and my dad is sitting, stiffly, at the head of the table. “Everything okay?” I ask, as I sit down. Hope sits next to me and I can basically feel her anxiety radiating from her.

 

“Oh, everything is fine.” My mom responds, while passing the carrots to my dad. I nod, skeptically. I know there’s something wrong. My parents are always talking my ear off as soon as I walk through the door, especially my mother, who’s sitting silently next to my dad. I look at Hope, who refuses to make eye contact with anyone, choosing instead to look down at the empty plate in front of her.

 

I choose to ignore their strange behavior, for now. We quickly pass the food around and make our plates. Neither of my parents have said a word to either of us. I put my hand on Hope’s thigh under the table and give it a reassuring squeeze. We eat, quietly. I look at my dad, who’s giving Hope a strange look. I glance over at Hope to see her playing with her food, refusing to look at anyone. I sigh, in frustration, and break the silence.

 

“Okay, what is going on?” I say, looking back and forth between my parents. My mom glances at me, then at Hope, and sighs. “I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, but we found some things on the internet.” My eyes widen and I look at Hope, who has her jaw clenched and her body frozen in fear of what’s to come. “Wha..What did you find?” I ask, when she doesn’t continue.

 

My dad, finally looks at me and picks up where she left off. “I was looking for Hope’s high school soccer stats online, just out of curiosity, and I found some information about her that you may not know about.” I tilt my head at him, in confusion. “What?” I glance at Hope, who’s looking away from me. “Did you know that her parents are in prison?” I nod, slowly, trying to gauge how they feel about it. “Okay. Did you know that she had a child?” I close my eyes, before looking at Hope, who’s trying to contain her emotion.

 

I put my hand on her leg, once again, and nod at my parents. “I know about it. She told me about everything.” My dad nods and looks at Hope with a conflicted look on his face. “We just wanted to make sure you were aware, Kelley.” My mom says, looking at me with careful eyes. Hope finally looks at my parents, her emotion written all over her face. I rub her thigh with my thumb, hoping to calm her at least a little bit.

 

She looks at them, silently, waiting to see if they have anything to say to her. “Hope, we don’t care about all that. We just wanted to make sure Kelley knew, that’s all.” My mom says, in a soft, motherly tone. I look at my dad, who looks more reserved. “Thank you.” Hope whispers to them, before continuing. “I’m sorry, I’m not feeling very well, may I please be excused?” My heart melts at her politeness. If my siblings were here, they’d make fun of her for it.

 

“Of course, honey,” My mom responds, skeptically. I watch, as Hope makes her way out of the room and out of the house. I know she needs a few minutes alone before I follow her, so I stay where I am and try to clean up this mess. “Why would you bring it up in front of her?” I ask, slightly annoyed at the way they went about this situation. My dad sighs and rubs his face. “Kelley, we don’t want you seeing her. You can be friends, if you want, but we’d prefer if it stayed that way.” He blurts out, completely ignoring my initial question. I furrow my eye brows at his words.

 

I glance at my mom, who looks guilty. “What?” I ask, glancing between the two of them. “Sweetie, we just don’t want you to get hurt. Someone like that, who’s been through all of that, could break down at any given point. We just want to protect you.” I scoff and cross my arms, defensively. “Who said we’re more than friends anyway?” My mom rolls her eyes at my question. “You’re not very subtle about it.”

 

I lean back in my chair and try to think of a way out of this. “It’s not that we don’t like her, we think she’s a great girl. We just want to make sure you don’t get hurt.” My mom says. It seems like my dad is the one who looks to be more against our relationship. “I’m 18. I can be with whoever I want. You don’t even really know her. Honestly, I’m not in the mood to argue with you two over my personal life. All you need to know is that Hope and I are not together, yet. Yet. As in, I want to be with her. She’s an amazing person. Yes, she’s been through a lot in her life, but why would that be a reason for you to write her off?” I stand up and look at the surprise on their faces, before continuing.

 

“Just so you both know, all that she’s wanted since we’ve gotten here is for you to like her. She cares about what you two think. So thanks for making it quite obvious what your stance is in all of this.” Guilt covers my mom’s face, while my dad still looks conflicted over the situation. “I’m gonna go. She’s probably upset with how all this went down.” I walk out of the kitchen, shooting them a disappointed look on my way out.

 

I quickly make my way to the guest house, expecting to find Hope in her room. When I find the house completely empty, I start to panic. Where could she have gone? Why would she leave without telling me? I check her closet to make sure she didn’t take her stuff with her. I sigh, in relief, when I find her belongings exactly where she left them.

 

Just as I’m about to walk out of her room, I look on the side table next to her bed, to see a picture. I know I should respect her privacy and not look at it, but curiosity gets the best of me and I find myself making my way over to the table and picking up the picture. My eyes fill at the sight of the most beautiful baby girl I’ve ever seen.

 

She has Hope’s bright blue eyes, a smile is filling her face as she looks at the person who’s taking the picture, presumably Hope. She’s lying on her back, wearing a pink and blue onesie. She’s adorable. Seeing this picture, next to her bed, makes it even more clear how much she still struggles with the loss. It’s something she’ll probably never fully forgive herself for. I let out a long breath and smile at the picture one last time, before putting it back where I found it and walking out of the room.

 

I go straight to the shed, having an idea of where she ran off to. When I find one of the four-wheelers missing, I grab my keys and put on my helmet. She shouldn’t have taken off when it’s so dark outside. She may think she knows the trail, but when it’s this dark, the trail looks completely different. I pull out of the shed and press, firmly, on the gas, wanting to get to her as quickly as I can. I make my way through the twists and turns of the trail without any issue. I know these woods like the back of my hand.

 

As I make my way closer to my destination, I keep a careful eye on my surroundings. She could have easily veered off onto the wrong trail or hit a bump too fast, causing her to flip. When I pull up to the picnic table and see her, sitting on one of the chairs, I feel relief fill my body. I take off my helmet and slowly make my way over to her, flashlight in hand.

 

“You scared me. You shouldn’t have taken off like that.” I say, as I approach her. She doesn’t even look at me. I sit down on the ground next to her chair. “Hope, you can’t just take off onto the trails at night by yourself. If you had crashed or gone the wrong way, I might not have been able to find you.” I say, seriously. I don’t care how upset she was; she can’t put herself in danger like that. “And there’s bears and coyotes out here. You wouldn’t be able to protect yourself, there’s no gun in that four-wheeler.” I finish, looking up at her stone-cold face.

 

She sighs and looks down at me. “I’m sorry.” She responds. I roll my eyes and get onto my knees, placing myself in front of her. I look into her eyes, which are already filled with unfallen tears. She clenches her jaw, in an effort to stop her emotion from spilling over. “Talk to me, Hope.” I say, softly, reaching out to cup her face.

 

She lets out a long, shaky, breath and leans into my touch. “I can go, if you want me to. I can go back to Boston.” I immediately shake my head. “I don’t want you to go, at all. Why would I want you to leave?” She shrugs and looks down, shaking my hand from her face. I place my hands on her legs, leaning into her. “I don’t want to cause problems with your parents.” I roll my eyes. “Hope, they’re fine. There’s no problem.”

 

“Don’t lie to me, Kell. Your dad looked at me like I was an exhibit at a zoo.” I sigh and internally curse my father for his lack of subtlety. “They just don’t want me to get hurt, that’s all. They have no problem with you. They really do like you.” As I finish, a tear makes its way down her face. She brushes it off, quickly, clearly not used to being emotional in front of other people. “What did they say to you after I left?” She asks, crossing her arms over her stomach. I look down, trying to decide if I should be honest or not.

 

“They, um, nothing. They just wanted to make sure I’m not gonna get hurt.” She looks at me, unconvinced. I’ve always been a bad liar. “It’ll be easier if you just tell me the truth.” She says, softly. I nod and look at her, sitting back on my feet. “They said they don’t want me to be with you, romantically.” I say, simply. She closes her eyes for a couple seconds, hurt flooding her face.

 

She opens her eyes and gives me a tight smile. “Okay.” She responds, standing up and making her way to her helmet, sliding it onto her head. I jump to my feet and follow her. “Hope, stop.” I say, as I reach her, grabbing her arm. She shakes off my hand and turns her body away from me. I keep my distance, watching as she puts her hands on her hips and looks down at the ground.

 

I stand, silently, behind her. It isn’t until I see her body start shaking, with what I can only assume to be sobs, do I speak up. “Hey.” I say, quietly. I reach out to touch her hand, which is cupped around her waist. “Don’t.” She says, as I make contact with her skin. I sigh, but give her space. “I don’t care what they think, Hope.” I say, honestly. I don’t care if they don’t want me to be with her. They have no good reason to think she isn’t good for me.

 

I watch as she takes in a few deep breaths, trying to steady herself to respond. “I care what they think.” She says, turning to face me. I look at her through the visor of her helmet, a look of pain and guardedness etched on what I can see of her face. I don’t respond, not knowing what else to say. Just as I’m about to suggest we leave, I see her face crinkle. “Why doesn’t anybody want me?” She asks, curling her body and placing her hands on her knees, shaking with a fresh round of sobs.

 

I turn around, facing away from her, to gather myself, my own eyes filling up with the sight before me. I hear her chocked sobs and turn back around, taking two short steps to reach her. “I want you.” I say, placing my hand on her back. I’m struggling to control my own tears. I’ve never seen her let go, let herself break. I keep my hand on her back, doing my best to comfort her. I feel her body shaking under my hand.

 

I move in front of her and grab her arms, tugging them, gently, trying to get her to stand up straight. She resists for a couple of seconds, trying to calm herself, before complying. She stands up and looks at me through her, now foggy, visor. I reach up and slide her helmet off of her head, standing on my tip-toes to do so. I put her helmet down on the table and reach up to wipe her face of some of her tears. I give her a small smile. Her tears have slowed, but they still fall, one by one. “Stay here.” I say, before walking the few feet to take the seat off of my four-wheeler, and grabbing a small towel that I keep there, just in case it’s needed.

 

I walk back over to her and gently dry her soaked face. Once I finish, I throw the towel on the table and look up at her. I cup her face with both of my hands and wipe the stray tears that continue to fall. “I want you.” I repeat my statement from earlier. She looks down and away from me, shaking off my hands, once again. I bring them to her waist, instead, wanting to have some form of contact with her.

 

“They don’t, though. They don’t want me to be a part of your family, like John is. They don’t want me to be with you. They don’t want me.” Her voice cracks with the last statement, breaking my heart, once again. I take a deep breath and tilt her chin to look at me. “They don’t know you, Hope. You won’t let them see what I see. You won’t let them see the person you really are. They’re just going off of what they know about you and most of what they know, now, is your past. You have to let them see you for you.”

 

I know I’m being blunt and potentially too harsh, but she needs to see that if my parents were able to get to know the real Hope, they wouldn’t have reacted the way that they did. She shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter. They’re never gonna be able to see past it.” She takes a step back and lifts her shirt to wipe her face. If it was a different situation, I’d take this opportunity to comment on her perfectly sculpted abs, but instead, I look at the ground and try to figure out how to fix this.

 

“They will. They’ll see past it once they get to know the real you. I think it’s adorable how you try so hard to get them to like you, but you aren’t being yourself.” I pause and watch as she lets her shirt fall, finally gaining control of her tears. She looks down at me and nods. “I guess you’re right.” She sighs out. I take a step forward and wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her into me. She hugs me back, resting her cheek on the top of my head.

 

I lift the back of her shirt, slightly, and run my fingers along the skin on her lower back, trying to comfort her as much as I can. She relaxes into me and leans some of her weight into me, trusting that I’ll hold her up. I smile into her shoulder at the action. I hold her until she pulls back, looking down at me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get so worked up.” I give her a soft smile, hoping to show her that everything is fine.

 

She looks down and sighs. “And I’m sorry that I’ve been kind of distant, lately.” She whispers. I raise my eye brows, surprised at her bringing it up. “It’s okay.” I pause, before continuing. “Why have you been so distant?” I ask, hoping to get some form of response this time. She shrugs and glances at me, before looking away, once again. “I just..I…” She sighs and gathers her thoughts. “I felt like you used me to get your ex to leave you alone. It felt like you didn’t want me to be your girlfriend, but you had to use that title to get him to leave.” I tilt my head at her, confused.

 

“Wait, you were upset because you didn’t think I want to be with you?” I ask. She nods, in response. “I’m still not sure if you want to be with me or not.” She clarifies. I let out a small laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. She shakes her head at my laughter. “You don’t have to laugh at me about it.” She says, hurt evident in her voice.

 

“No, no. I’m not laughing at you; I’m laughing at how crazy that is.” She doesn’t look convinced. “How crazy what is?” She asks, looking at me with furrowed eye brows. “You thinking that I don’t want to be with you.” I clarify. She relaxes her face a little bit and nods. “Oh.” She hesitates before continuing. “Well, it doesn’t matter, because your parents don’t want you with me.” She says, smiling sadly.

 

I roll my eyes at the mention of my parents. They’re on my shit-list right now. “I don’t care what they want, Hope. They can’t control me. Plus, they like you. They just don’t want me to get hurt. I know that you aren’t gonna hurt me.” She shrugs and shakes her head. “You don’t know that.” I sigh, in frustration. “You’re right, I don’t. You might hurt me; I might hurt you. That’s what a relationship is, trusting that the other person won’t betray you.” She nods, in agreement.

 

“I don’t want to go behind their backs, though. I don’t want to be with you against their wishes. That’s not how I want to start off our relationship.” I internally groan at her need to honor my parents’. “Well then what are we gonna do?” I ask. It’s clear that we want to be together, but it’s also clear that it’s not what my parents want for me right now. “I don’t know. I’m just gonna have to try and get them to change their minds, I guess.”

 

“What are we gonna do until then? Pretend that we don’t have feelings for each other?” She shakes her head. “I don’t know.” I roll my eyes. “Hope, I’m not gonna let them dictate my life. I want you, I want to be with you. Are you really just gonna pretend to just be my friend until you can get them to like you? That might take all summer.” She blinks a few times at my words. Shit. “So they don’t like me?” I internally berate my choice of wording. “They do, that came out wrong.” She shakes her head and takes a step backwards, grabbing her helmet off the table. “Let’s just go.” She says, tiredly, wiping the inside of her helmet of the tears from earlier and putting it back on. I sigh to myself and glance at her. She’s sitting on her four-wheeler, waiting for me to lead the way. Her shoulders are hunched, hands on the handle bars, head tilted down.

 

I lead us back down the pitch black trail, slowly, making sure we both get back safely. I feel my phone vibrating constantly in my pocket. It’s probably my parents, trying to figure out where we went. Guaranteed they felt like assholes after I left and tried to come make it better only to find an empty house. We pull back into the shed and lock it up, before walking, silently, back to the house. “Are you mad at me?” I ask, as we walk through the front door. It’s 10:00 now, we’ve been gone for hours.

 

“No. I do need to be alone for the night, but I’m not mad at you.” She says, giving me a soft kiss on the side of my head, before walking down the hallway and into her bedroom. I sigh and watch her walk away. We still have a lot to figure out, but we can deal with it tomorrow. I take my phone out of my pocket and look at the 3 missed calls from Alex and one from Tobin, along with 11 unread texts from the two of them.

 

I roll my eyes at their impatience and call Alex back first. “Kelley? Why didn’t you respond to me? I’m in New Jersey and Tobi and I have an idea.” I shake my head, amusedly. “I’m sorry, I was with Hope. What’s your idea?”

 

“We should come down there and stay with you guys for a week or so. Maybe we can go camping near your house or something. We miss you and Tobin misses Hope more than she’ll admit out loud.” I hear Tobin, disagreeing in the background and smile to myself. “Aw, little Tobin misses her Hopey?” I ask, in a baby voice, knowing I’m on speaker. “No.” I hear Tobin say. I can basically see her crossing her arms, pouting at being called out.

 

“I think that’s a pretty good idea. We could use some friend-time. When were you thinking?” I hear them talk amongst themselves for a couple seconds before I hear Alex’s voice again. “I don’t know, as soon as you’ll have us? Our parents already said they’d pay for our plane tickets down there as long as it’s okay with you.”

 

“My parents won’t care.” I move to the couch in the living room and sit down. “Well there’s a flight for tomorrow night and there’s a flight the day after tomorrow, in the morning.” I think about it for a few seconds, before responding. “I think the one for Saturday morning might work better. Hope and I need a day to figure things out.” I regret the words as they leave my mouth. I hear Tobin cut into the conversation.

 

“Why? What’s wrong?” She asks, concerned. “No, nothing to worry about. We just had a long day today.” I keep it short, hoping they’ll get the point. Luckily, our 5 years of being best friends pays off in this situation and they get the hint. “Okay, that’s fine. We’ll book the flight for Saturday and text you the flight information so you know when we’ll be there.” I sigh in relief.

 

“I can’t wait to see you!” I say, excitedly. I really have missed them. Maybe they’ll be able to help the predicament Hope and I have found ourselves in. “I’ll text you tomorrow, Kell.” Alex says. “If you need us, you know we’ll answer your call, no matter what time it is.” I nod, to myself. “I know. I’ll talk to you later.” We say our goodbyes and I hang up, putting my phone down on the table.

 

I sigh and rub my face. Tomorrow, we need to figure some stuff out. Hope and I need to discuss what we’re gonna do about our relationship and I need to talk to my parents about everything that happened. They can’t just sit there and tell me who I can or can’t be with. For now, though, I need to try and make myself go to sleep. I need to be there for Hope tomorrow and I can’t do that if I’m running on little to no sleep. I sigh as I stand up and walk to my bedroom, hesitating slightly when I hear sniffles coming from Hope’s room. I almost go in, but decide against it. She said she needed space, I need to respect that.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been two weeks, huh? I'm sorry! Life got in the way for a little bit, but I'm hopefully back on track. This one's longer than the others, to make up for my lack of updating. School starts again this week, but I'll do my best to get an update in. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

Kelley POV

 

“Kelley?” I hear the door open and my mother’s voice carries into the kitchen, where I’m making coffee. It’s around 8 o’clock, so Hope is still sleeping and my parents haven’t gone to work yet. “In the kitchen.” I call back. I hear her footsteps get closer and I turn around to face her, waiting to hear what she has to say. “Hope still sleeping?” She asks, as she walks into the kitchen, taking a seat on one of the stools near the breakfast nook. I pour her a cup of coffee and set it down in front of her. “Mhm.” I respond, turning away to get my own cup of coffee. I didn’t get much sleep last night. My thoughts kept wandering back to Hope and how this whole situation is messing up what we’d started.

 

I sigh and bring the brim of the mug to my lips, taking a small sip of the, still scolding, coffee. “Is she okay?” I clench my jaw and close my eyes for a moment, trying not to lash out at her. I turn to face her and lean back against the counter. “No. She’s not.” I state, simply. She tightens her lips and looks at me, guiltily. “Did you tell her what we talked about after she left?” I roll my eyes at the question. “Of course I did. You know I can’t lie; she saw right through me. She basically figured it out herself.” She looks down at the mug in front of her and nods, slowly.

 

“What did she say?” My mom and I have always told each other everything. She’s been my best friend my entire life, but right now, she’s in the wrong and she knows it. “It’s not your business. She and I had a conversation. She was hurt. That’s all you need to know.” I speak calmly, not wanting to cause an argument. “She was hurt?” She whispers to herself. I raise my eye brows and give her a nod. “What did you expect? For her to be happy that you don’t want her in our lives?”

 

She flinches at my words, immediately shaking her head. “I never said I don’t want her in our lives. Honestly, Kelley, I’m on your side, here. After you left last night, your father and I got into a bit of an argument over it. I tried to make him see things the way I do.” I lick my lips and look at her. “How do you see things?” I’m honestly surprised that my mom jumped ship so quickly. “Hope is…she’s had some struggles in her life. She’s seen a lot of darkness, sweetie, and you need to be prepared for her to break down. But, she’s seemed to overcome everything. From what I can see, she’s a wonderful person, she’s going down the right path, despite all that she’s been through.”

 

I raise my eye brows. When I talked to them last night, I wasn’t sure I got through to them. Now I just have my dad to worry about, it seems. “So dad wasn’t having any of it?” She sighs and runs her fingers through her hair. “He’s worried about you.” I shake my head. “Why?” She leans back in her chair and looks at me, guiltily. “I think you should go and talk to him. Maybe tonight?” The last thing I want to do is go and talk to him about this. It’s clear where he stands and I don’t feel like fighting him on it. With that being said, it might be my only shot at getting him to change his view.

 

“Maybe. Maybe I’ll go over there tonight before you get home from work.” She nods and lets out a heavy sigh. “That’s a good idea.” I nod, already trying to think of what I’m gonna say to him. “Tobin and Alex are coming here tomorrow. You don’t mind, right?” She shakes her head, quickly. “Of course not. You know you can have them over any time. How long are they staying?” I shrug, trying to remember when Alex said their flight home is gonna be. “I think they said they’ll be here for like ten days.” She nods. “Okay. Well I’ll leave you some money so you and Hope can go get some food. The tents are in the shed if you need them.” She glances at her watch.

 

“Well I have to get to work. Everything will be fine, Kelley. Just go talk to your dad later. He’ll come around.” I nod, hopefully, and give her a hug. “Thank you.” I whisper in her ear before she pulls away. She gives me a slight nod, in response. “Anytime. I love you.” She calls, before walking out, closing the door behind her. I take in a deep breath and look up at the ceiling.

 

“Well at least we have your mom on our side, right?” I snap my head to the doorway, where Hope is standing, dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt. My eyes widen as I realize that she’s probably just heard everything that was said. I look at her, guiltily. “You heard?” She nods and makes her way into the kitchen, heading straight over to the coffee. “Are you upset?” I ask, nervously. I think back, going through everything that was said. “Why would I be? Your mom is on our side.” She says, softly, turning to face me.

 

I shrug and sit down on the stool that my mom vacated. We fall into a silence. She takes a long drink of her coffee. “Tobin and Alex are coming here.” I tell her, knowing she should know sooner rather than later. We need to figure out our shit before tomorrow morning. She nods and rubs the sleep out of her eyes. “I heard. When do they get here?”

 

“Tomorrow morning. I talked to them last night.” She nods, slowly, and glances at me. “Maybe that’s for the best. We can get our minds off of everything.” I stand up and approach her. She places her empty coffee mug in the sink and leans back against the counter. “You know I still want this, right?” She furrows her eye brows and looks down at her hands. “What do you mean?” She asks. I grab her hands, stilling them. “I don’t care what my dad thinks, what my mom thinks, what Erin and Jerry think, I want to be with you.”

 

She pulls her hands away and looks at me. “I’m not gonna be that person. I’m not gonna be the person who disrespects your parents, who disrespects your father.” I roll my eyes. “He doesn’t control me.” She clenches her jaw and looks away from me. “I get that, Kell, but I don’t want him to have a problem with me.” I sigh, in frustration. Why does she care so much about what he thinks? “Okay…okay. I’m gonna talk to him. I’ll go over there when he gets out of work.” I say. She shrugs. “You don’t have to. I don’t think it’ll change anything.”

 

“He can’t stand in my way. I want you. I’m an adult, I make my own decisions.” She nods, hesitantly. I put my hands on her hips and look up at her, trying to get through to her. When she doesn’t look back at me, I cup her face, forcing her eyes to meet mine. “It’ll be okay.” I whisper. She leans down and gives me a lingering kiss, pulling away after a few seconds. “I hope so.”

 

* * *

 

 

I walk into the house at around 5:30, knowing my dad’s work schedule. My mom usually doesn’t get home until 6 because she has a longer commute. I walk into the living room to find him watching a rerun of an old football game, beer in hand. “Dad?” He turns around and gives me a small smile. “Hey, K.” I roll my eyes at the nickname. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” He tightens his lips, but nods, motioning for me to sit on the couch.

 

I sit down and look at him for a few seconds. “You here to talk about Hope?” He asks, starting the conversation. I look at the coffee table in front of me and nod. “Kelley, I would just prefer you be with someone who doesn’t have such a bad past. Like your mother said, she seems like a nice girl, but she’s never even really had a family.” I roll my eyes. “So you’re blaming her for her parent’s mistakes? Shouldn’t that make you want to make her feel even more welcome?” I counter, trying to make him realize how ridiculous he sounds.

 

“I don’t want you getting hurt. If you get involved with her, you’re getting yourself into a big mess.” I furrow my eye brows. “How so?” He hesitates, before responding. “She’s been through a lot of terrible things. You’ve had a great life, K. You couldn’t be more of opposites.” I shake my head at him. “You can’t blame her past on her. None of it was her fault.” He rubs his face and takes a long drink of his beer. “I understand that.” I throw my arms up, in frustration. “Well then what is your problem?”

 

He gives me a warning look, letting me know I should tread carefully with my tone. I don’t falter, challenging him. “I don’t want you getting hurt.” I roll my eyes. “That’s like the fifth time you’ve said that. I’m an adult, dad. You can’t control what I do or don’t do. I don’t know what your problem with Hope is, but you need to get over it. If it wasn’t for the respect that she has for you, I wouldn’t be here talking to you right now, we’d be together and that would be the end of it. But she won’t go against you.” He shakes his head and glances at the score of the game. I roll my eyes, once again.

 

“You wanna know what, Kelley? I don’t like it and I don’t trust her, but you do what you want. I’m just trying to protect you, but you don’t want my protection. So you go ahead and you try things out with her. I warned you, that’s all I can do.” He looks at me with a disappointed look upon his face. “Why don’t you trust her?” I try again, hoping to get a straight answer out of him. He looks me in the eyes. “Addiction is often inherited from the parents of a child. Hope’s mother was an alcoholic and potential drug user, her father was a drug user.” He speaks gently, as if he’s telling me something I didn’t already know. “Are you serious?” I say, defensively.

 

He huffs. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you. I knew you’d get defensive and get mad at me.” I shake my head and look at him. “Well I have a reason to be mad. So because her parent’s made bad choices, you judge her? You assume she’s gonna take the same path? News flash: She’s in college, getting her degree. She had a shitty childhood, she’s been through the loss of her daughter and she isn’t an addict. She’s been given every opportunity in the world to drown herself in drugs and she didn’t.”

 

“How do you know she didn’t? Did you ask her?” I scoff. “That’s not something you just ask someone. ‘Hey have you ever done heroin? How about cocaine, you into that?’” I say, sarcastically. He shrugs. “I raised you right, K. Your mother and I, we raised all of you kids in the right way. I trust your judgement, but if I were you, I would ask that question before you rush into things.” I stand up and give him a slight nod, wanting to get myself out of this conversation before it becomes even more heated. “So is this you giving us approval?” He looks at me, skeptically. “This is the closest you’re gonna get to having my approval, so if that’s what you need to tell Hope, then sure, you have my approval.” I nod and give him a small smile. “Thanks.”

 

I walk outside and take a deep breath. Is his biggest concern really if Hope’s ever done drugs or not? If she’s ever drowned her emotions with alcohol? I guess I just assumed that she’d never done anything like that. She just doesn’t seem like the type of person, but I can see where he’s coming from, in a way. She’s been through a lot, her parents are both addicts, there’s a chance that she’s gone down that path in the past. It’s not something I want to bring up with her, but I may have to if we’re gonna move forward with our feelings.

 

I walk into the guest house and am immediately met with an anxious goalkeeper, who’s leaning up against the wall, facing me. “What happened?” She asks, as soon as I’m through the door. I raise my eye brows. “He’s okay with it. With us.” I say, simply. The smile that breaks out on her face makes the difficult conversation that I just had so worth it. I walk up to her and pull her into a hug. “Did he say why he had, or has, such a big problem with me?” She asks, nervously, after I pull out of the embrace. I shrug. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that we have nothing standing in our way.” I say, softly. She gives me a look and I know I’m gonna have to break the news to her.

 

“Will you just tell me?” She says, impatiently. I sigh and give her a slight nod. “He thinks you’re gonna become an addict because your parents are.” She rolls her eyes and tilts her head at me. “Seriously? If anything, their struggles with addiction have made me more aware. I never want to be like them.” She answers, seriously. I raise my eye brows at her answer. I was expecting her to become defensive or shut down, but it seems like she’s rather confident in her response. “So you’ve never…” I trail off, knowing she’d get the point.

 

“No, Kell, I’ve never stuck a needle in my arm, I’ve never even gotten drunk.” She says, sharply. I falter at her bluntness. “Okay.” I respond. She sighs and runs her fingers through her hair. “Well, there’s nothing I can do to make him think differently of me. I can’t make him be less judgmental.” I nod, in agreement. “I know. But what matters now is that we can be together, if that’s what we want. And our friends are gonna be here in the morning.” I say, smiling when I think of Tobin and Alex.

 

“What are we gonna tell them?” She asks, nervously. I grab her hand and lean up to give her a kiss on the cheek. “You want to be with me, right?” I ask, giving her another peck on the cheek. I feel her nod against my lips. “And I want to be with you.” I look up at her and she smiles, glancing at her feet, before looking back at me. “I don’t want to rush into this.” She says, seriously. I nod, in agreement. “I know. I don’t either. But you and I both know that those two are gonna know something’s up as soon as they get here.”

 

“I know.” She pauses, before continuing. “But I don’t want to lie to them and tell them we’re together if we’re not.” I roll my eyes at the ridiculousness of this conversation. “Why are we so afraid of being in a relationship? It’s just a title. We sound like Tobin.” She smiles, nodding her head. “We do.” I bite my bottom lip, trying to build myself up to ask her the question we both know is coming. “Will you be with me?” She blurts out, shakily, before I get the chance to ask first. I give her a smirk. “Be with you?” I push, seeing if she’ll rephrase the question. I almost feel guilty, seeing the nervous look on her face. “Will you be my girlfriend?” She asks, looking at me, anxiously.

 

I give her a smile. “You don’t feel rushed into this?” I ask, to make sure. She shakes her head. “I wouldn’t have asked if I did.” She leans down and connects our lips. I run my tongue along her bottom lip, pushing to see if she’s willing to go any further. She opens her mouth, allowing me to deepen the kiss. I put my hands on the back of her neck and she leans down to grab the back of my thighs, lifting me. I wrap my legs around her waist, gaining leverage in doing so. The kiss quickly becomes heated and her hands have moved to my ass, holding me up. I tangle my fingers in her hair and bring my right hand to cup her face, controlling the kiss completely. She carries me to the living room, sitting on the couch so I’m in her lap.

 

After a few minutes of making out and wandering hands, she pulls back, breathing heavily. “We need to slow down.” She breathes out. I pull back and look at her flushed face. I nod, knowing she’s right. “Okay.” I respond. She groans and rubs her face. “You okay there, Solo?” I ask, teasingly, running a finger down her chest. “I’m fine.” She says, unconvincingly. I look at her glazed blue eyes. “Mhm.” I say, sarcastically, looking at her, skeptically. She leans up and gives me a soft kiss, before pulling away. “I need to go shower.” She says, tapping my leg. I roll my eyes and lift myself off of her. “I’ll order us food.” I call out to her, as she makes her way down the hallway. She nods her head, then stops and turns to look at me. “You never answered my question.” She says, confused look on her face. I furrow my eye brows, going back through the events that just occurred. My eyes widen when I realize I never answered a pretty important question. “Oh. Well, obviously yes.” I say. She gives me an adorable smile, before turning and going into her room.

 

Hope POV

 

After picking up Tobin and Alex, we headed back to the guest house to get them settled in. We decided that instead of being inside for the ten days that they’ll spend here, we’ll go camping at the place that Kelley’s family often goes. Currently, we’re all sitting in the living room, making a list of stuff we need to pick up from the grocery store for the next few days. Kelley and I were supposed to go yesterday, but we ended up not having time with everything that happened.

 

I look at Kelley, who’s tapping her pen against the table, thinking of anything else we may need from the store. “Firewood.” I offer. She scoffs at me, giving me a perplexed look. “We’re gonna be in the middle of the woods and you think we need to buy firewood?” She asks, motioning, wildly, with her hands. I roll my eyes. “It was just a suggestion.” She laughs and reaches over to squeeze my hand. Tobin and Alex give each other a knowing look. Kelley and I haven’t told them about the development in our relationship, yet. It hasn’t come up, but with the curiosity on their faces, I know they’ll ask soon enough.

 

“Okay, I think that’s it. Who’s coming to the store with me?” Kelley scans our faces, waiting for someone to volunteer. “Let’s all go.” Tobin looks at Alex and nods, in agreement. “Okay, then let’s go. We need to be able to set up our tents and stuff before it gets dark. With that, we all stand and quickly get our things together, heading off to the store with Kelley.

 

* * *

 

 

The trip to the grocery store was uneventful. Tobin and Alex were too busy whispering in each other’s ears, leaving Kelley and I to do all the shopping. We’ve just gotten to the site and begun setting up the two tents we brought with us. “Hope, help me.” Kelley calls out, clearly struggling with one of the poles. I give her a look, before walking over. “I don’t know how to do this.” I say, picking up the long pole in front of me. She looks up at me. “You’ve never set up a tent?” I shake my head. “I’ve never been camping.”

 

Her jaw drops. “What?” She asks, raising her eye brows. I shrug. “I’ve never been. I don’t know how to set this thing up.” I say, looking down at the pieces of the tent. She shakes her head, still in shock. “This is gonna be so much fun.” She gives me a big smile, before telling me what I’m supposed to do with all of the foreign objects laid out in front of me.

 

Tobin POV

 

“Look at them.” Alex says, from her place across from me at the picnic table. I turn my body to look at Hope and Kelley trying to set up their tent. Ours has been set up for twenty minutes and they’re still struggling. Hope looks like she’s never seen a tent in her life and Kelley is clearly getting frustrated. “Should I go help them?” I ask, not wanting Kelley to hit Hope with one of the poles, in anger. “No. I wanna see what happens.” Alex responds. I look at her and shake my head. She smirks. “Did we get popcorn at the store?”

 

“No, Hope, put it over there. No, not there. Over one. There you go.” Kelley says, patiently. Seeing Kelley being so patient is surprising. If it weren’t Hope over there, failing at setting up the tent, there would have already been some yelling, maybe even some light threats. “Okay, I’m gonna go help.” I decide, standing up and walking over. “You guys need help?” Hope looks at me like I’ve just saved a ball off her goal line. She hands me the pole that she’s trying to do god knows what with. “That’d be great.” She says. I nod. “Go sit with Alex. Maybe you two can go find fire wood.”

 

Hope walks away and calls for Alex, both of them disappearing into the woods to find logs. Kelley sighs once their out of sight. “How has she never been camping?” She says, under her breath. I glance at her, before sliding the pole into its place. “She’s never been?” I ask. She shakes her head. “Nope.” I raise my eye brows and help her hammer in the pegs to anchor the tent to the ground. “Well let’s make sure her first camping trip is a good one.” I glance up and see Hope and Alex walking back over, arms filled with chopped wood. “There’s no way they chopped all that in two minutes.” I say, seriously. Kelley laughs. “My dad chopped a bunch for us. Can you imagine Alex trying to chop wood?” She chuckles out. I laugh with her, picturing Alex picking up an axe, while trying not to break a nail.

 

Kelley and I finish quickly and join the others, who are sitting around the fire pit. “Who got this lit?” I ask, slightly surprised that Kelley didn’t have to start the fire herself. “Hope.” Alex answers, looking at our friend, who has her eyes glued on the fire. “Nice job, Solo.” I say, sitting down next to Alex. Kelley walks over to her bag and picks it up. “I’m gonna go get the tent ready before it gets dark.” She mentions, carrying the bag of blankets into their rather large tent. “We should probably do the same.” I say, patting Alex’s thigh. She nods and stands up with me, helping me with our stuff.

 

We get into our tent, roll out our blankets, and put out our pillows. Alex sets up her clothes and changes into sweatpants. “I’m hungry.” She says, looking at me. I roll my eyes, but give her a smile. “We literally just ate before we came up here.” I respond. She shrugs and shuffles over to me, on her knees. “I’m so glad we get to spend so much time with our friends.” She says, softly, before giving me a lingering kiss on the lips. I put my hands on her hips and pull her into me, gently. “It’s gonna be interesting.” I say, kissing her once more. She pulls away and sits back on her knees.

 

“When do you think they’ll tell us?” I shrug, in response. “Knowing Kelley, she’ll probably tell us tonight. If it were up to Hope, I don’t think we’d ever know.” I say, honestly. Kelley has always been one to come straight to Alex or me to tell us something important right after it happens. Hope, on the other hand, is so closed off, I still don’t know much about her personal life, but the fact that she’s spending her summer in Georgia and not with her family says everything I need to know. “That’s true.” Alex says, turning to put on a sweatshirt. I sigh and reach for the zipper. “You ready?” She nods. “I love you.” I lean in. She meets me half way for a loving kiss. “I love you too.” She whispers against my lips.

 

Hope POV

 

By the time we’re all back around the fire, the sun is down and the chill of the summer night is in the air. Tobin, Alex, and Kelley are all roasting marshmallows, holding them out to the fire. “Are you sure you don’t want one?” I scrunch my nose. “I don’t like marshmallow.” I say, for the fifth time. Apparently, roasting marshmallows is a camping necessity and I ‘have to roast at least one before the end of our trip’. Tobin and Alex speak, quietly, amongst themselves for a few minutes, sitting on the opposite side of the fire pit.

 

“Stop talking shit about us.” Kelley says, loudly. The glance up and Alex rolls her eyes. “We were actually discussing the best way to bring up the fact that you two are fucking.” She says. My eyes widen. Kelley and I haven’t been intimate yet. Hell, tonight is gonna be the first night we sleep in the same ‘room’. “Alex!” Tobin exclaims, clearly opposing Alex’s bluntness. I look at Kelley, who’s opening and closing her mouth, repeatedly, flustered by the change in conversation. “We..we haven’t.” Kelley stutters out.

 

I wipe my face with my hands, completely embarrassed, at this point. “Seriously?” Alex asks, looking disappointed in herself for making the incorrect assumption. Tobin stays quiet, allowing her girlfriend to cover this conversation. I follow Tobin’s lead and just hope to god that it’s too dark outside for them to see how red my face is. Kelley shakes her head in response. “We are together though.” She says, with a smile. Tobin and Alex look at each other, victoriously. Alex takes out her phone, holding it up, in search of signal. I furrow my eye brows. I was expecting more of a reaction out of them. Maybe a hug? Or…something?

 

Tobin stands and rolls her eyes at Alex’s antics. She walks over to Kelley, who jumps up to give her a hug. “Don’t hurt my roomie or I’ll take back the squirrel poster I got you last year.” I laugh at Kelley’s horrified face, taking the threat very seriously. “You wouldn’t.” She says. Tobin smirks at her. “Try me.” She walks away from the panicking defender and nudges my shoulder. “I’m happy for you.” She says. I stand up and pull her into a hug. “Thanks, Tob.” I whisper. She pulls away and looks at Alex, who’s walking around the camp site with her phone above her head.

 

“Why the hell does she need cell service right now?” I ask, watching her walk in circles. Tobin sighs and shakes her head at her girlfriend. “So..uh.. you know Ali Krieger and Ashlyn Harris?” I furrow my eye brows. “Well, obviously.” I laugh, nervously. I glance at Kelley, who looks just as confused. “Well, uh, at one of our camps a few months ago, they asked Al and I if you two were together. You’re not that subtle. Anyway, it all kind of snowballed and turned into a bet.” I raise my eye brows. “At bet?” Kelley asks. Tobin nods, guiltily. “A bet that we just won. So Alex is trying to tell them about our victory.” Kelley scoffs and stands up, walking up to Alex and taking her phone away from her.

 

I watch as the two talk for a few minutes, before hugging. I shake my head. “What was the bet?” I ask Tobin, who’s made her way back to her seat. “They said you’d get together during the season, we said over the summer.” I roll my eyes, but smile. “You guys are too much.” She shrugs and looks over at our girlfriends. “You love us.” I look at her. ‘Love’ isn’t a word that I use for very many people. I’ve only used it on 3 people in my life. My parents and Hadley. But Tobin and Alex, Tobin especially, has been my rock for the past 6 or so months. I don’t know what I would have done without her. “That’s true.” I say, softly, glancing back to Kelley and Alex, who are making their way back over to us.

 

Alex stops in front of me, opening her arms for a hug. I roll my eyes and stand up, giving her a brief hug. “I’m happy for you, Solo.” I give her a smile. “Thanks.” She walks back over to her place next to Tobin and sits down. “So how’d your parents take it?” Alex asks, looking between Kelley and me. I feel myself instantly become nervous at her curiosity. I look at Kelley, hoping she’ll know what to say. “They’re okay with it. They like Hope” She says. Technically, her dad gave us the ‘okay’ so she’s not completely lying. I pick up a stick and poke at the fire a little bit, trying to move one of the logs into a better position

 

“What about yours, Hope?” I open and close my mouth a few times, not knowing what to say. I look at Kelley, who looks uncomfortable. “I don’t talk to them.” I say, simply. Alex nods, slowly. “Why?” She’s pushing and she knows it. Tobin gives her a warning look that Alex shrugs off. I bite my lips and look at the fire. For some reason, around this fire, with my friends, I don’t feel like I’m being judged. I feel like I can say whatever I want to and nothing can hurt me.

 

“They’re in prison.” I poke at the fire with the stick again, trying to busy myself. “Oh.” She responds. I nod, slowly. “My dad for drugs and my mom for vehicular manslaughter.” I get it out of the way. She would have asked if I didn’t tell her first. I glance up to see Tobin’s raised eye brows and Alex’s dropped jaw. I sigh and look at Kelley, for reassurance. She gives me a smile and stands up. She walks the short distance to me and nudges me so I’m leaning back in my chair, then sits on my lap, wrapping her right arm around my shoulder. “Just give them a minute.” She whispers in my ear, before turning back to face them.

 

I wrap my arms around her waist and throw my stick on the fire. “Wow.” I look at Alex, who finally catches her bearings. I nod. “What happened with your mom?” She asks, softly. I feel Kelley start rubbing my back, giving me all the reassurance I need. “The night after I graduated high school, she was driving drunk and hit a police car. The officer died on impact.” I say, guiltily. I didn’t do anything wrong, but knowing that my mother killed him, makes me feel like I should have done something to stop her. He was a father of four-year old twins. He had a wife. I went to his funeral. No one knew who I was and I didn’t talk to anyone, but I felt like I had to be there. It was my way of apologizing to him, I guess.

 

“I’m sorry.” She says, softly. I shrug. Tobin looks at me and gives me a nod, letting me know she’s there for me. It’s her way of letting me know that she has my back. I give her an appreciative smile in return. “What about your dad?” I tense at the mention of him. My mom may be in prison for something much more severe than drugs, but my dad made my childhood a living hell. “He was a dealer. Tried selling weed to an undercover cop. Judge gave him 10 years. Honestly, he could be out now on good behavior, for all I know.”

 

“Jesus.” Tobin finally speaks up. I look at her and nod. “Yup.” Kelley kisses me on the side of my head and pulls me into her. “That’s so fucked up.” Alex says. I nod, in agreement. “And that’s only part of it.” I mumble. Alex looks at me, expectantly. I shake my head. “That’s enough of my sad story for one night. How have you guys been?” I ask, changing the subject. Honestly, seeing how they reacted to what I told them, gave me confidence in opening up to them more, but I can only take so much in one night. At least now I know I can tell them more if it comes down to it.

 

When it gets into the early hours of the morning, we all decide we should get some sleep. We talked for hours, catching up on each other’s lives, telling them about how Kelley and I got together (leaving out that fateful first kiss that would have caused too many questions to be asked). It wasn’t until we were saying our goodnights did I start getting nervous about spending the night with Kelley. I shouldn’t be, but when you have anxiety, nerves are a part of the package. I follow Kelley into our tent and go through my clothes, in search of something to change into, the glow of a lantern lighting the tent.

 

I grab some sweatpants and pull off my jeans, turning myself so I’m facing away from her. I quickly, pull on the sweatpants, before turning back towards a leering Kelley. I roll my eyes. “Can I help you?” She shakes herself out of it and gives me a smirk. “You’d help me a lot if you just didn’t wear pants to sleep.” I shake my head and feel my face get hot. “Not a chance, O’Hara.” She gives me a small pout, before turning and pulling off her own pants and shirt, clad in only her bra and thong.

 

I blink a few times, my eyes raking over her body. She looks over her shoulder at me and smirks. I lick my lips. She shuffles over to me on her knees until we’re face to face. I feel her breath against my face. She puts a hand on my leg, running her fingers from my knee to the top of my pants. She dips a finger under my sweatpants, running it over my hip bone, before taking it out and stroking my stomach. She brings her mouth to my ear. “You’re drooling.” She says, softly, sending chills down my spine. I let out a shaky breath, before comprehending what she said. I pull back and wipe at my mouth. “No..no I’m not.” I respond, shooting her a glare when I realize she was playing me.

 

She smiles, victoriously, and makes her was back to her bag, throwing on a t-shirt and, sinfully short, shorts. I shake my head at how easily I was wound up. Kelley takes off her make-up with a wipe, while I get under the covers, trying to get myself comfortable on the hard ground. Kelley slides in next to me and shuts off the light, bringing herself against my side. She wraps an arm around my waist and lays her head on my shoulder. I feel my body tense at the action, more because of nerves than being uncomfortable. “Is this okay?” She asks, when she feels me stiffen. “I just want to cuddle.” She assures me. I let out a quiet sigh of relief and nod, my body relaxing at her words.

 

Alex POV

 

Tobin and I head into our tent after saying goodnight to Hope and Kelley. I’m honestly surprised at how much Hope opened up tonight. The late night talk at the bon fire must have made her feel comfortable enough to share some of her story with us. I didn’t think I’d ever know anything about her past. I turn to Tobin as she closes the zipper. “Well that was interesting.” I mention. Tobin nods, turning to look at me. I sit down and watch as she changes into her sleep wear.

 

“Poor Hope.” I whisper. The girl has seen both of her parents go to jail. I don’t know how I’d feel if I knew one of my parent killed someone. Whether on purpose or not, it happened. I try to put myself in her position, but I can’t imagine how she feels. “She’s strong.” Tobin says. I nod, in agreement. “It’s good that she has Kelley.” Tobin pats the spot next to her, signaling me to come over. She wraps her arm around my waist and kisses my temple.

 

“I’m just glad she felt comfortable enough with us to share that.” She whispers. I lick my lips. “It doesn’t seem like that’s all she’s been through. She said that’s not even half of it.” I respond. She shrugs and rests her chin on the top of my head. “If she feels comfortable, she’ll open up. We just have to be ready to support her.” I sigh. “We should really thank her. We just won a hundred bucks.” I feel her shake her head. “You’re too much.” She pulls away and looks at me, a loving smile on her face.

 

“I love you.” She says, before kissing my forehead. “Oh ya?” I respond, challengingly. She raises her eye brows at my response. I lean in and kiss her deeply. She whimpers into the kiss and pulls away. “Al, their tent isn’t even 20 yards away.” I smirk and get up, onto my knees. I straddle her outstretched legs and lead her down and onto her back. “Then you better be quiet.” I whisper. She smirks at me and pulls me down into a heated kiss.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, look! An update! Thank you for being so patient. I know it's been too long. I'm gonna start aiming for at least one update every one-two weeks. I think that it's a reasonable amount of time in between chapters when I look at my current schedule. They'll all be at least 5,000 words though. This one is just over 7,000, so I hope that makes up for my delay.
> 
> Any questions you have in between updates, feel free to shoot me a message on Tumblr. I'll always respond! Let me know what you think of this one! :)

 

 

Kelley POV

 

We spend the next few days relaxing and exploring the woods that surround the site, playing games and enjoying the outdoors. We’ve been up here for 4 nights, without counting the few times that we went back down to the guest house to shower. Alex refused to go more than 24 hours without washing her hair. Today, I went back down to the guest house to meet Jerry, who agreed to buy us alcohol. It’s not the first time he’s done it and it probably won’t be the last. If our parents found out, we’d be dead, but we haven’t gotten caught thus far and it’s not like we’re gonna be driving. It’s just gonna make the night a little bit more interesting.

 

By the time I get back, Hope, Tobs, and Alex are sitting by the fire. The sun is just beginning to set, making the sky glow orange. As soon as she sees me, Hope gives me a small smile. I turn off my four-wheeler and put the bags on the picnic table. “I got the stuff.” I say, dramatically. Alex rolls her eyes and looks in the bags, grabbing the vodka to make a drink with. Tobin and I settle with beer, while Hope opts to stick with water.

 

“You sure you don’t want anything?” I ask, as I sit down next to her. She watches the flames flicker in front of us and nods. “I’m good.” She says. I shrug. “Okay.” I lean over and kiss her cheek, before taking a long sip of my beer. “You guys excited for the season to start?” I ask, making conversation. We all have to be back a month before classes begin to train with the team. That gives us about a month and a half before we’ll all be heading back to Boston.

 

“I’m stoked. You?” Tobin responds. I nod, excitedly. “Are you gonna be okay with Ashlyn there?” Alex asks. I feel my eyes widen and I give her a look, letting her know that I don’t appreciate the question. “Why wouldn’t I be?” I play it off. I glance at Hope, who’s giving me a strange look, probably trying to figure out why I’d have a problem with Ashlyn being on the team. Alex rolls her eyes, while Tobin just looks down at the beer bottle in her hands and smirks slightly. “Maybe because you had a thing?” Alex pushes. I scoff. “A thing? We went on one date.” I counter.

 

Hope looks at me, expectantly. She’s clearly waiting for an explanation and who am I to keep her in the dark? I sigh. “Al, you suck for bringing that up.” I give her a pointed look. She sticks her middle finger up at me, in response. I look at Hope and shake my head, annoyed. “We were at orientation together. We both met all the soccer girls so we could ‘get to know them’ or whatever. We kind of hit it off, in a friend way. I wasn’t really interested, but then she asked me out so I said ‘yes’.” I roll my eyes at myself for agreeing to go in the first place. Hope tilts her head and smirks, clearly not phased. “We went on a coffee date and ended up getting along really well, but we both knew it wasn’t anything more than friendship.” I finish, shooting Alex one more glare.

 

Hope chuckles. “Well that’s….interesting.” She says. I shrug and shake my head. “It was the worst date ever. No connection.” I add. Hope shrugs and puts her left hand on my knee. I place my right hand on hers, grabbing her forefinger. “Well her and Ali hit it off pretty well.” Tobin speaks out. I nod. “Yup. They’re sickeningly in love. It’s gross.” I make a disgusted face to prove my point. “It’s true.” Alex says, while Tobin nods in agreement. We fall into a comfortable silence. Hope stands up to add another log to the fire and Tobin and Alex get up to get another drink. “Tobs, grab me one while you’re up?” I ask. She tosses a bottle to me. “Thanks.”

 

“Three couples on one team? That must be some sort of record.” Hope says, suddenly, after everyone had sat back down. I look at her and nod in agreement. “Seriously. I don’t think Jill knows what she got herself into.” I respond. Alex laughs. “Let’s hope none of us break up. Drama, drama, drama.” She says, rolling her eyes. Tobin tips her bottle, in agreement. “We’ll be fine.” I say, glancing at Hope, who gives me a smile.

 

The sun has slowly gone down, making the fire our only source of light. I stand up and walk to the picnic table, turning on the lantern to give us more visibility. I’m slightly buzzed, with the small amount of alcohol I’ve consumed coursing through my veins. Alex follows and pours herself another drink. “You making your drinks strong enough?” I ask, sarcastically, when I see the excessive amount of alcohol she puts into her vodka and sprite. She shrugs and take a sip. “I’m not a light weight like _some_ of us.” She looks at me pointedly and I roll my eyes. “Whatever.” I mumble to myself, before walking away from her and sitting on Hope’s lap.

 

She wraps an arm around my waist, instinctively, and I lean my body into her. “I hope that chair breaks.” Alex says, motioning to the flimsy fold-out chair we’re sitting on. I scoff. “Is that a fat joke?” I ask, raising my eye brows. “To you. Not Hope.” I gasp, dramatically, and stand up, handing Hope my beer to hold. I lift my shirt and knock on my stomach. “These are rock hard.” I joke and look to Hope for help. She shakes her head at me, amusedly, and laughs at my antics. “Sit down before you hurt yourself.” Alex chuckles out.

 

I shoot her a dirty look before plopping myself back onto Hope’s lap. I must put too much of my weight onto the chair because the next thing I know, I hear the chair start creaking. “Kell, you should probably get u-“ Hope is cut off when the chair gives way. Hope lands on her back, my beer spilling all over her during the fall. I land on top of her, somehow unscathed by the spilled drink. I hesitate, looking down at Hope, ignoring the hysterical laughter coming from our friends.

 

I bite my lips, trying not to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. Hope looks at her shirt, which is soaked with the foamy beverage, and then looks at me. I can’t tell if she’s pissed or not so I just stand up. I glance at Tobin and Alex and can no longer keep my laughter at bay. I double over with laughter and brush the dirt off my jeans. “I knew it! I knew all those cookies would add up!” I say, loudly, through my hysterics. “You-you should have seen your face!” Alex stutters, trying to gain control of herself. Tobin just shakes her head and laughs quietly, to herself.

 

Hope lifts herself off the ground and smiles, tightly, before taking my empty beer bottle to the trash bag and throwing it out. I take a few deep breaths, letting out small chuckles as I finally control myself. We fall into an awkward silence, with Hope trying to wipe her soaked shirt off with paper towels. “Do you need help?” I ask, suddenly a bit more sober than I was just moments ago. She shakes her head, while Tobin and Alex watch the situation play out. “I’m gonna drive back down. I need to take a shower.” She says, smiling slightly. “You can’t go back. It’s dark.” I respond.

 

She rolls her eyes. “I need to shower, Kelley. I smell like beer.” I sigh, looking at her, disapprovingly. “I’ll come with you.” I offer. “No, I’ll be okay. I’ll only be a little while.” She says, walking back towards our tent to grab fresh clothes. I follow her, hesitantly, and crawl into the tent after her. “I’m sorry.” I say, softly. She looks at me, confusion evident on her face. “It was an accident.” She replies, debating on whether she should bring sweatpants or leggings. I point to the sweatpants, knowing she’d be too cold in the thinner material. She nods and grabs a sweatshirt to go with it, along with a sports bra.

 

She turns towards me and leans in, giving me a kiss. I go to deepen it, but she pulls back, scrunching her nose. “You taste like beer.” She says, distastefully. I grimace. “Sorry.” I say. She leads the way, walking back outside and grabbing the keys. “I’ll be back.” She says, sliding on a helmet. Tobin and Alex send her a wave. “Be safe.” I say, seriously. She nods and gets onto the four-wheeler, turning it on and driving into the darkness. I sigh and walk back over to the fire. “She pissed?” Tobin asks, watching me as I sit down across from them in my own chair. I shake my head. “No, she’s fine. I feel badly though. Her shirt is completely drenched.” Alex stifles a laugh, clearly replaying the event in her head.

 

I shoot her a hard glare, trying to focus on the fact that my girlfriend is currently covered in Coors Light. We fall into a short silence, all of us listening to the sound of the fire burning. “So how do your parents really feel about you and Hope?” I snap my eyes up to meet Alex’s. I knew she saw right through my lie the other night, but I wasn’t expecting her to bring it up. I guess she was waiting until Hope wasn’t here to try and get the truth out of me. I bite my lips and shrug. “Like I said…they’re fine with it.” She rolls her eyes. “You’re a shitty liar.” She counters, raising her eye brows, challengingly. Tobin looks at me sympathetically, knowing there was no way Alex was going to let this go.

 

I sigh. “My mom is fine with it, she really is.” I look at her, seriously. “My dad just wants to protect me and he found out a lot of shit about Hope’s past that he’s having trouble looking past, but he’s okay with us being together. He just wants me to be careful.” I explain, giving them as little information as possible. Alex nods, skeptically. She looks me up and down, trying to gauge how far she can push it. Eventually, Tobin puts a hand on her thigh and shakes her head slightly, the two of them sharing a silent conversation. Alex looks back at me and nods, more confidently. “He’ll love her once he gets to know her.” She assures. I nod, in agreement. “Is Hope okay?” Tobin asks, leaning forward in her seat. I shrug. “She’s hurt that he was so hesitant, but she’s okay.” I stand up and grab another beer, before they can ask any more questions. It’s not that I think they would judge her, but I don’t want to talk to them about Hope without her being here. I don’t know what she wants them to know and what she wants to keep to herself.

 

Hope POV

 

I’m just stepping out of the shower when I hear the door to the guest house open. I immediately become nervous, not knowing who’s out there. It’s only 9:00, but I don’t understand why someone would be here. I quickly dry off my body and throw on my sweats. I crack open the bathroom door, peeking through the opening. When I don’t see anyone, I peek my head out and look down the hallway towards the kitchen, still not seeing anyone. While this should calm me, it only makes me more nervous. I know that I heard someone come in. I wearily step out of the bathroom and slowly walk down the hallway. “Hello?” I call out, while approaching the kitchen, hoping for a familiar voice to respond.

 

I’m just about to turn into the kitchen when a figure pops through the doorway, looking right at me. I jump backwards and let out a yelp, in surprise. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Karen quickly states, her hand placed on her chest. She clearly wasn’t expecting me to be right in front of her when she rounded the corner and was just as startled as I was. I let out a breath and lean back against the wall behind me, trying to calm my racing heart. I look at Karen, who’s now suppressing a smile. I let out an airy laugh, which sets her off into her own fit of laughter. She leans into the doorframe and holds her stomach. “Oh my goodness, you scared me half to death.” She says, through her laughter. “You should have seen your face!” She adds, pointing at me. I laugh along with her for a few seconds, slightly confused as to why she is here.

 

“I thought Kelley was here. When I saw her quad out there, I just assumed it was her.” She says, after we both calm ourselves. I nod, in understanding. “I just came back down here for a shower.” I state, simply. She nods. “I see.” She pauses and glances into the kitchen. “Well I just wanted to let her know that we’re having a barbecue this weekend. It’s gonna be on Saturday so let Tobin and Alex know too.” I raise my eye brows. “Who’s coming?”

 

“Just Erin, Jerry, John, and Kristina, Jerry’s girlfriend.” I nod, slightly relived that it won’t be too many people. “I’ll let her know.” I say, giving her a small smile. She gives me an appreciative nod and walks past me. “I just need to use the bathroom and then I’ll leave you to it.” She says. I feel my eyes widen, with the realization that my, beer covered, clothes are sitting on the bathroom floor where I left them. I watch as she closes the door behind her. What the fuck am I supposed to tell her? That I didn’t drink anything, it was all Kelley? That Kelley got alcohol from Jerry and I had nothing to do with it? It’s either save myself or save Kelley and Jerry. I sigh and wipe my face with my hands, in anticipation for what’s to come. There’s no way she’s gonna miss the smell of beer that is filling the bathroom.

 

I straighten my posture when I hear the bathroom door open. Karen walks out and looks at me with hard eyes, staring me down with a heavy glare. Shit, she knows. I lean back against the wall and look back at her, nervously. Just when I think she’s about to yell at me, her face breaks into an amused grin. “You think I don’t know my idiot of a son gets her booze? He’s been doing it for years.” I blink a few times, confused as to why she isn’t yelling at me. “W-what?” She lets out a chuckle. “I’m not mad, Hope. Kelley’s smart. I’d rather her drink here than somewhere else. At least when she’s here I know she isn’t driving. With that being said, Dan wouldn’t approve so let’s keep this between us, okay?” I swallow hard and nod, quickly. “I’m hoping you haven’t been drinking, considering you drove down here? I don’t care if it’s only a four-wheeler, you can’t drive it if you’ve been drinking.” She squints her eyes at me, looking for any sign of intoxication. I shake my head. “N-no, I haven’t had anything.” I stutter.

 

She walks up to me and puts a hand on my shoulder. “I’m not upset. Calm down.” She says, noticing my nerves. I sigh, trying and failing to relax myself. This is the last thing I wanted to happen. “I’ll take a test. I’ll do whatever you want. I promise you, I haven’t been drinking.” I speak quickly, trying to make her believe me. She tilts her head at me, before narrowing her eyes. I take a step away from her. She brings the hand that was on my shoulder and snaps her fingers in front of my face. I flinch, slightly, not expecting the sound. “Snap out of it. I’m not upset. I know you haven’t been drinking. I can spot a buzzed teenager out of a crowd of a hundred. Here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna finish getting yourself ready and I’m gonna go. We’re gonna pretend like I never found out about this. Don’t tell Kelley about my lack of yelling. I like to keep her on her toes. Do we have a deal?” I nod. “Deal.” I sigh out.

 

She lets out a long breath and looks at me for a few long seconds. It’s almost like she’s having an internal debate with herself. She grabs my forearm and looks me directly in the eyes. “You take care of my girl, okay?” I look down at her and nod. “I will.” She nods and pulls me into a hug. Surprisingly, I feel myself melting into the embrace, rather than becoming uncomfortable and pulling away. I hug her back. “I’m sorry that you had to deal with our idiocy. I shouldn’t have judged you like I did.” She says, as she pulls away. I shake my head and look down. “No, no, I get it. I’m not exactly what any parent would want for their daughter.” I say, shrugging. She doesn’t respond right away, taking a few seconds to digest my response. I sigh and glance at her. “I’m gonna go put my clothes in the wash, I’ll be right back.” I walk past her and into the bathroom, grabbing my clothes and bringing them into the laundry room. I needed to get myself out of that situation as quickly as possible. The last thing I need to hear right now is Kelley’s mother reminding me of how fucked up I am.

 

I take my time, dragging out the process for as long as possible. I slightly hope that she gets impatient and leaves, but when I don’t hear her exit, I know I’m gonna have to face her again. I walk slowly back to the living room, where Karen is sitting. “Can we talk for a few minutes?” She asks. I clench my jaw. “I should probably get back up there soon. Kelley probably thinks I got eaten by a bear or something.” I say, lightly, trying to get myself out of here. She shakes her head. “Come, sit.” She motions me over. “Kelley will be fine.” She says. I internally groan. This night has not gone well for me thus far. I sit down on the recliner that’s next to the couch she’s sitting on.

 

“Would you be uncomfortable if I asked you about your family?” I close my eyes, already dreading this conversation. I take a deep breath and look at her. “Why would you ask me about them?” I counter, trying to stall as long as I can. “Because I want to know why you think you’re so worthless.” I clench my jaw and bring my eyes to the floor. “There’s a lot that factors into it.” I speak softly, trying not to relive every bad memory. “Where did you grow up?” She asks. “Richland, Washington.” She sighs. “I know that. I mean what was your community like? You’re home, what was that like?” I look at her, trying to figure out her angle.

 

“Middle-class, nothing special. Everyone knew each other, for the most part. We lived in a small, two-bedroom house. My mom worked full time. My dad ‘worked full time.’” I roll my eyes, speaking sarcastically about my father. “What do you mean?” I shrug. “He told people that he worked full time, but in reality, he just sold drugs and that’s where his income came.” She tightens her lips, visibly upset. “Were they good to you?” She asks, carefully. I scoff and look away, shaking my head to myself. “They were absent. My mom would come home from work and grab whatever alcoholic beverage she chose as her ‘drink of the night.’ My dad was never around, but when he was, he’d let me know I didn’t mean anything to him. I was what they call ‘a mistake’ and he never let me forget it. My brother stayed out of the house as much as he could, sleeping at a friend’s house to get away from it all.” I hear Karen let out a breath.

 

“Did they ever…” She trails off. I look at her, trying to figure out what she was trying to say. “Did they ever what? Hit me?” She gives me a slight nod, looking at me, sadly. I shrug. “It doesn’t matter.” She raises her eye brows. “Yes it does.” I sigh and close my eyes for a few seconds. “My mom didn’t. She’d just yell at me, make me clean up after her. My dad…” I pause, before continuing. “he would only do it when I spoke back to him or did something wrong. It wasn’t anything compared to T-“ I stop myself. I don’t want to go there. “Compared to your ex?” She asks, softly. Fuck. I don’t know how she got me to talk to her so easily.

 

I shrug and laugh, self-deprecatingly. “I guess I’m just another statistic.” I breath out. “What do you mean?” I glance at her. “People who face abuse in their childhood often find themselves in an abusive relationship later in life.” I state. It’s true. “Why did you stay with him?” I stiffen. She must notice, because she quickly clarifies. “Not when you found out you were pregnant. I mean, after the first time he hit you, why did you stay with him? Why didn’t you protect yourself?” I bite my lips, willing myself not to become emotional. Whenever someone finds out about the situation I went through with Tom and Hadley, they always ask why I didn’t get Hadley out of the situation, but this is the first time someone, other than my therapist, has asked why I didn’t get myself out of it. Why I didn’t feel the need to protect myself.

 

“He made me feel wanted.” I pause, before continuing. “My whole life, my parents told me how I wasn’t wanted, how I was a mistake and they never wanted another kid. Then I met him and he made me feel like he wanted me, like he loved me for who I was. Then when it went downhill, I was just in too deep. I felt like I owed him something because he made me feel loved, unconditionally, for the first time. I felt like if someone, who made me feel so loved, hurt me like he did, then I must have deserved it.” I keep my eyes on my hands, which are placed in my lap.

 

“Oh, Hope.” I hear her sigh out, in a motherly tone. I feel my eyes fill with tears, once again, at the unfamiliar sound. I put my face in my hands, wiping away stray tears that escaped. Fuck, I shouldn’t be crying. I take a deep breath and bring my hands back to my lap, after drying my face. “I know you said that you approve of our relationship and I appreciate that, but I also know that I’m not what you want for Kelley. No parent would want me, would want all of my baggage weighing their child down. I just don’t know how to fix it; I don’t know how to change the way you feel.” I look at her, hopefully. She doesn’t respond, looking back at me with furrowed eye brows. I’m about to apologize, when she finally responds.

 

“You really believe that? You really believe that no one will ever accept you into their family?” She asks, seriously. I shrug. “No one ever has.” She falters, tilting her head, slightly. She looks down, in thought for a few long seconds, before looking back at me. “You do realize that nothing that you’ve been through, nothing you’ve seen, nothing people have done to you, said to you, is your fault, right? None of it is because of you.” I look away from her, towards the kitchen. “My mom didn’t start drinking until I was born. My dad didn’t need to sell drugs before I was born. He only started because we needed the extra money. So yes, it is my fault.”

 

“How do you know that they didn’t start until you were born?” She asks, softly. “Marcus told me. He never blamed me, but I asked him about it one day, after my dad went to jail and he told me. I’m the reason my family turned out the way it did. I’m poison.” I speak, emotionlessly. At this point, I’m ready for this conversation to be over. I’ve done enough of reliving my past for the night. I stay seated though. I’m not going to disrespect Kelley’s mother. “They were the adults, Hope. They were the ones who committed crimes, not you. You were a child, there was nothing you could have done to stop it.” I look at her and shrug, clenching and unclenching my jaw repeatedly.

 

“I respect you, Karen. I really do. So if you want me to go, I will.” I say, bluntly, changing the subject. I feel my eyes filling, once again. She doesn’t respond, looking at me, sadly. I take in a shaky breath. “If you want me to leave, if you want me to go back to Boston, to let Kelley find someone better, I will. I’ll go tell her, I’ll pack my bags, and I’ll go.” I feel a lone tear make its way down my face. I wipe it away, quickly, trying to keep some sort of control of my emotions. She looks at me, seriously. “If you ever leave my daughter, I will make you regret it.” She enunciates her words thoroughly. I furrow my eye brows, as a few more tears escape. “What do you mean?” She leans over and wipes my cheek with the back of her hand.

 

“I mean that you are exactly what I want for her. You’re respectful, you’re kind, you’re gentle. I don’t know how you turned out to be such an amazing person, considering your upbringing, but you are everything I want for her. Did I have my doubts, at first? Of course I did. But speaking to you over the past month and a half, I’ve learned what kind of person you are and the fact that you took the time to talk to me tonight, even though it, clearly, made you uncomfortable, just further proves my point.” She speaks softly, almost whispering. She brings both of her hands to my face and cups my cheeks, wiping my tears with her thumbs. She looks me in the eyes. I look back at her trying to find any trace of doubt. When I find none, I bring my hands to my face, pushing hers away in the process, and feel my body start to shake with tears. Relieved. It’s the only adjective I can think of to describe what I’m feeling.

 

I hear Karen stand up from the couch and she tugs at my arms, trying to get me to stand up. I take my hands away from my face and wipe away the tears with the sleeve of my sweatshirt. I stand up and place my head on her shoulder, feeling stray tears still falling, slowly, onto her shirt. She wraps her arms around me, pulling me into a motherly embrace. I let out a long, shaky breath and sniffle. “Sweetie, you should probably get back up there soon.” She whispers. “Kelley is a responsible girl, but if you aren’t back up there within a half hour, she’ll drive down here to find you and we both know she’s been drinking.” She whispers. I nod against her shoulder, knowing she’s right. I pull away and rub at my eyes. She walks into the kitchen and grabs her purse, before approaching me again. “Anytime you need to talk or you need something, no matter what it is, you come to me, okay?” I nod and give her a small smile. “Thank you.” I whisper.

 

She shrugs. “No need to thank me. You just remember what I said” I nod. She gives my shoulder a squeeze, before making her way out of the house. As soon as the door is closed, I curl into myself, crossing my arms over my stomach protectively. I feel myself shake with silent sobs and I slide down, onto the floor, pulling my knees to my chest. I lean against the side of the couch, as I let out everything that I’m feeling. From relief, to happiness, to shock, to anger and regret. Every emotion comes out on full display as I realize that even if Dan is still skeptical, even if Jerry and Erin don’t approve, even if Kelley and I don’t work out for whatever reason, Karen has fully and unconditionally accepted me. She wants me to be here, she wants me to be with Kelley, she wants me to be a part of the family, she wants me to stay.

 

I never thought there would be a day that I would be accepted. I thought I would always be an outsider looking in. I thought that, even if I got married, I wouldn’t ever be accepted into a family. Even if it’s just one person, even if the rest of her family doesn’t want me, Karen does. She looked past everything, everything I’ve been through, everything I’ve done, everything that should scream ‘poison’ at her, and she’s found a reason to fully welcome me in. I put my head on my knees and rock back and forth, trying to level my breathing, which has quickened rapidly. I stay like this until I hear the faint sound of an engine in the distance. Shit.

 

Kelley POV

 

“It’s been an hour and a half. Something’s wrong.” I state, pacing back and forth. I walk up to the picnic table and pour myself a shot of vodka, taking it quickly. My throat immediately burns and I cringe at the taste. “Kell, she’s probably just waiting for her clothes to be clean.” Tobin assures. I shake my head. “No. No, she said she was just going to put them in the wash and then she was gonna shower, then she’d be back. There’s something wrong.” I say, quickly. “I have to go check on her.” I decide. “Kelley, no.” Alex says. I give her a dirty look. “I need to make sure she’s okay.” She shakes her head at me. “You’ve been drinking and it’s dark. You can’t drive down there.” Tobin says, putting her empty bottle on the ground. “I’m fine. I know these trails better than anyone. I need to make sure she’s okay.” I say, ending the discussion. They aren’t gonna stop me from leaving.

 

“I’ll be back within an hour.” I say. They nod, skeptically, clearly not approving of my decision. I ignore their looks, putting on my helmet and getting on the machine. I give them a wave, before turning it on and driving away. The whole way down the trail, I’m hyper aware of my surroundings. I look for any sign that she’s driven off the side or that she stopped anywhere. It’s hard to see in the darkness, but I don’t find any sign that she’s is in danger. When I finally reach my destination, I sigh in relief, at the sight of the lights on in the guest house, signaling to me that she’s still there.

 

I drive towards the house, slowly, trying to keep the engine as quiet as possible. I don’t want my parents to have any reason to come over here. I turn it off and slip off my helmet, basically running to the front door of the guest house. “Hope?” I call out, as I walk inside. I close the door behind me and look around the living room and kitchen, but finding it to be empty. I hear the shower on in the bathroom and feel even more relieved. “Hope?” I call again, knocking on the bathroom door.

 

“Yea, Kell? What are you doing here?” I furrow my eye brows when I hear how raspy her voice is. “Are you okay?” I ask, turning the door handle to find it unlocked. I walk inside the steamy bathroom. “What are you doing?” She asks, from behind the shower curtain, when I come in. “Are you okay?” I counter, ignoring her question. She doesn’t respond. I put down the toilet seat and sit down on top of it. “I’m fine. Why are you here? You shouldn’t be driving; you could have gotten hurt.” I hear the disapproval in her voice, but I ignore it. “I needed to make sure you were okay. Why did you take so long?” She hesitates and turns off the shower. She reaches out and grabs a towel, pulling it behind the curtain.

 

She stays silent for a few minutes, before opening the curtain, the towel wrapped, tightly, around her body. I try not to leer at sight, but the buzz of the alcohol boosts my confidence enough where I look her up and down appreciatively. She steps out, turning her body away from me as she closes the shower curtain behind her. I stand up and place a hand on her lower back, feeling the effects of that shot starting to hit me. She turns around when she feels the contact. “What are you doing?” She whispers. I grab her by the hips and gently push her back into the wall. She goes with it, looking at me, skeptically. I stand on my tip-toes so we’re nose to nose.

 

Leaning in, I ghost my lips over hers, touching my bottom lip to her top lip, teasingly. I hear her take in a short breath at the action. I look into her dark blue eyes and bring my hands up, ghosting over her ribs, before bringing our lips together, roughly. I take immediate control of the kiss, pushing her back, firmly, against the wall. She kisses me back, giving up control. She wraps her arms around my waist and I bring my thigh so it’s placed between her legs, which pulls a soft moan out of her. The sound spurs me on and I become increasingly turned on with every passing second. “You’re so sexy.” I whisper against her lips. She lets out a quick breath, before I press our lips together, once again. I bring my hands to the top of the towel, that’s wrapped around her chest. I give it a tug, causing it to fall to the floor. I immediately feel her stiffen.

 

I pull away, looking into her eyes, once again, fighting against the urge to look down at her naked figure. “Are you okay?” I whisper, instantly concerned that I made her uncomfortable. She nods. “Just not like this. Not when you’ve been drinking.” She responds. I nod, in understanding. “Okay.” I sigh, trying to gain control of my heavy breathing. We stand there for a few more seconds, before I take a step back and bend down, glancing at my girlfriend’s flawless body, as I pick up her towel. She brings her arms to cover her breasts, her body turning a light shade of pink with my heavy stare. I shake myself out of it and look at her face, holding out the towel for her to take.

 

She looks at me, nervously. “What?” I ask, confused as to why she’s all the sudden acting shy. She shakes her head, breaking eye contact. “Nothing.” I roll my eyes and bring my hands to her waist, once again, this time, though, I feel her soft skin underneath my fingertips rather than the fabric of the towel. I bring them to her lower back, lightly dragging my fingers up and down her spine, causing her to shiver. “You’re beautiful.” I whisper, touching our noses together, gently. She looks down at my lips and brings our lips together, in a slow kiss. It’s much different from the one we shared moments ago. This one doesn’t feel rushed, there’s no need for either of us to take over control. I run my tongue along her bottom lip and she opens her mouth, allowing me to deepen the kiss. Our tongues intertwine with each other, exploring each other’s mouths.

 

She pulls away after a few minutes, looking down at me, lovingly. I take a step back and allow her to wrap the towel around herself again. “I’ll let you change.” I say, giving her a small smile, before walking out of the bathroom. I walk into the kitchen and sigh. I shouldn’t have taken that last shot. If I didn’t take it, I might be having sex with my drop dead gorgeous girlfriend right now. I roll my eyes at myself, as I hear her walk out. She doesn’t say anything; she just looks at me from the doorway of the kitchen. I notice something, something in her posture, something in the look in her eyes.

 

“Why did you take so long?” I ask, again. She looks down and smiles softly at whatever it is that she’s thinking. “Your mom came over when I was showering.” My eyes widen. Did she find out about the beer? She must see the panic on my face because she quickly clarifies. “She didn’t find out.” She pauses. “But we did talk.” She says. I tilt my head, looking at her expectantly. She walks into the kitchen and stands in front of me. “She told me that I’m ‘exactly what she wants for you.’” She says, giving me a relieved smile. I raise my eye brows. “She did?” I smile back at her. She looks like the weight of the world was on her shoulders and a little piece of it just got taken off. She’s standing just a little bit straighter, she’s smiling just a little bit bigger.

 

She nods. “Is that all you talked about?” I ask. There’s no way she just randomly said that to her and then left. She shakes her head and hesitates, glancing at the ground for a second. “I told her a little bit about my parents, about Tom. All stuff you already know.” I’m slightly surprised that she opened up to my mom. I know she’s rather easy to talk to, but Hope’s always been so closed off, I don’t know how she got through to her. I reach out and grab her hand. “That’s great, baby.” Her eyes meet mine and I give her a reassuring smile. “I want to hear all about it. But we need to get back before Alex and Tobin try to walk down here to check on us.” She nods.

 

She refuses to let me drive, so I ride on the back of one of the machines, while she drives. We agree that we’ll come back down for the other one at some point tomorrow. By the time we get back, it’s just past 11:30 and Alex and Tobin are nowhere in sight. I immediately start panicking and jump off the machine, running over to their tent. I rip off my helmet and throw it on the ground, before opening their tent and peeking my head inside. “Get out!” Alex yells. I immediately feel nauseous, knowing exactly what they were doing. I’m just glad they were under the covers and I didn’t see anything that would have completely scarred me for life.

 

“You guys are disgusting!” I yell at them, before stomping away towards the fire. Hope takes off her helmet and looks at me, amusedly. “Wipe that smirk off your face. I should have made you go check on them.” She rolls her eyes and sits down in Tobin’s empty seat. We sit in mostly silence, occasionally hearing a light moan that one of them couldn’t stifle. I resort to throwing sticks and rocks at their tent until they finally give in and stop. “Fucking weirdos.” I say, when I finally hear silence. I’m assuming they decided to go to sleep, rather than face us again after being walked in on.

 

Hope tells me everything that happened with my mom. About her reactions to Hope’s past, her support, and her comfort. I’m so fucking happy that Hope finally feels like she has a chance to be accepted completely. I know my mom is only one person out of four that has accepted her thus far, given that my siblings don’t know about it yet, but this is the happiest I’ve seen her since we’ve gotten to Georgia. “And, by the way, your siblings are coming over on Saturday for a barbecue. We all have to be there.” She nods towards Alex and Tobin’s tent, letting me know my mom expects all four of us to be there, not just Hope and me.

 

I nod, but the more I think about it, the more nervous I get. How will my dad act around Hope? Have they told Erin and Jerry? Will they tell Erin and Jerry? Why are we having a random barbecue? The questions pop into my head and I try to push away the negative thoughts that come my way. I look over at Hope, who’s eyes are flickering with light as she looks at the flames of the fire. She glances at me with nervous eyes. “Do you think your dad will be okay or do you think he’ll ignore me?” I sigh and look way from her, my eyes focusing on the fire. “I don’t know. But regardless, at least you know you have Tobs, Alex, my mom, and me on your side, right?” She hesitates, but accepts my answer and nods. “I guess so.”

 

I lay awake that night picturing everything that could go wrong on Saturday. What if my dad tells Jerry and Erin about Hope? What if Jerry follows in my dad’s footsteps and is skeptical about her? He’s always followed his lead. What if Erin judges her? I know these are all things that probably won’t happen, but I can’t stop my mind from wandering. Eventually, I feel my eyes grow heavy and I roll into Hope, placing my head on her shoulder and wrapping an arm around her waist. The only conclusion that I come to is that no matter what happens, I have to be there for this beautiful woman, who’s seen too much negativity, who’s been through too much heartache in her short life. She is my number one priority and if it means going against my family, that’s what I’ll do.

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know where this update came from, to be honest. I said 'no' to homework today and here we are! This is the last chapter that's set in Georgia. Back to Boston, next chapter! Let me know what you think!

 

 

Kelley POV

 

We set our alarms for 7 o’clock this morning, waking ourselves early so that we can break down camp and get back down to the guest house. Today is the day of the barbeque, so we’re headed back early to shower and get ready for the day’s events. I can feel the nervous energy radiating off of Hope’s body as we take down our tent. It seems that while she had trouble getting the tent up, she has no problem tearing it down. I glance over to Alex and Tobs, to see them giggling about something. I smile, to myself, knowing how happy they both are. We squeeze the tent into its case and pick up the stray pieces of garbage that are lingering on the ground.

 

“Okay, you ready?” I ask the three of them when the site looks clear. We pack everything in/on the four-wheelers and take off down the trail. I lead the way with Hope sitting behind me, while Tobin follows behind with Alex. I bring my right hand and place them over Hope’s, which are placed on my stomach. I run my fingers, soothingly, over hers, hoping to calm her nerves. We get back about a half hour later. Alex and Tobin take the first showers, separately, in the two bathrooms that we have in the guest house.

 

I run to my room to unpack my clothes, before walking out to the kitchen, where Hope stands. She’s facing away from me, looking out the window, which sits over the sink. “You nervous?” I ask, hoping to start the conversation. She doesn’t turn around, instead just shrugging, her body tense. I sigh and walk over to her, placing my hand on her lower back. I bring my hands around her waist and rest my head between her shoulder blades. I give her a light, reassuring squeeze, before pulling away and leaning against the counter next to her, running my hand over her left forearm.

 

“There’s no reason to be nervous. What’s the worst thing that’s gonna happen?” I ask, softly. She takes in a deep breath and turns her body to face me. “Your dad tells Erin and Jerry about everything and they decide I’m not good enough for you.” I roll my eyes. “That isn’t gonna happen, Hope.” I say, mostly just trying to make her feel better about everything. I have no idea what’s gonna happen today, but I can only hope that it’s going to go well. She doesn’t say anything, instead choosing to play with the hem of her t-shirt. I sigh and bring my hands to her waist, tugging her closer to me. “There isn’t anything we can do about it; we have to go. We have to face them. I know you’re nervous, but you have all of us on your side, babe.” I lean up and give her a lingering kiss on the cheek. She rolls her eyes. “They don’t even know the full story.” She nods her head towards the hallway, motioning to Alex and Tobin. “And your siblings could be completely against me.” She finishes.

 

“Okay, but you just have to realize that their opinions mean nothing to me. I don’t care what they say, I’m with you and that isn’t gonna change because they’re being immature and trying to butt into my love life.” As I finish the sentence, I hear a door open. I give Hope one last, reassuring, glance, before turning around to see Tobin walk in. “You’re done?” I ask. She nods and sits on a stool to put on her socks. “You go.” Hope says, giving me the next shower. I sigh and nod, giving her a quick peck, before making my way down the hallway.

 

I make my way into my room to grab my clothes, thinking of everything that must be going on in Hope’s mind. She’s nervous that this is gonna be the last time that she’s ever going to be in Georgia. My mom might have accepted her, but that’s not enough for Hope. She refuses to be the barrier that keeps me away from my family. In my mind, if my family wants me to be happy, they would stay the fuck out of it and keep their mouths shut. I’d choose Hope a million times over, but she would never let that happen. She would leave me, I know it and she knows it. If it comes down to it, she’ll be gone. So today, this barbeque, could very well be the end of us, the end of her stay in Georgia. No matter how much I beg her not to leave, she’ll go. She’ll go so that I don’t have to make the choice, so that I don’t ever have to leave my family behind.

 

Tobin POV

 

I walk into the kitchen immediately feel the nervous energy filling the air. I silently make my way in, not wanting to break the awkward tension that my arrival has created. “You’re done?” Kelley asks, looking at me. I give her a nod, as I slip my socks onto my bare feet. I hear them decide who’s going next and watch as Kelley leaves the room. I glance at Hope, who looks anxiety ridden. “You okay, man?” I ask, raising my eye brows at her. She glances at me, before letting out a long breath and walking to the island. She leans on her elbows and rubs her hands over her face. “I’m okay. Just nervous about today.” I nod, slowly, knowing how nervous I was when I was still getting to know Alex’s family.

 

“I know how you feel, dude. Getting to know the family is never fun.” She gives me a look that I can’t quite decipher. “It’s bad, Tob.” She says, quietly. I tilt my head a little bit, questioningly. “What do you mean?” She rests her forehead on the palms of her hands. “Her dad found out about some stuff and he fucking hates me. I’ve tried to be respectful, I’ve done nothing but try to prove myself, but it wasn’t enough. Now I have to go face him and her siblings for the whole day.” She says, anxiously. “So he doesn’t like you because of your parents? Because they’re in jail? That doesn’t even make sense, it’s not like it’s your fault that they messed up.” She looks at me, resting her chin on her palms. “That’s part of it. He just thinks I’m damaged or something. He’s convinced I’m gonna follow in their footsteps.” I can tell that she’s leaving something out, but I leave it, knowing she’ll tell me on her own time.

 

“It’ll all work out. Just try not to get yourself too worked up about it or you’re just gonna drive yourself crazy.” She nods and gives me a forced smile. “Thanks.” We sit in silence for a few minutes, while she grabs herself a bottle of water and I grab myself some breakfast. Alex emerges a few minutes later and Hope leaves the room to get ready. “Hey, gorgeous.” I say, giving Alex a slight nod and shooting her a wink. She rolls her eyes, but approaches me. “You excited for today?” She asks, wrapping her arms around my waist, her hands resting on my lower back. “I guess so.” I shrug. “Hopefully there’s better food here than we made at camp.” I finish, scrunching my nose a little bit at the burgers that Kelley made last night. She had us convinced that she knew how to cook over a fire, only to hand us burgers that were burnt to a crisp. Alex nods, in agreement. I give her a lingering kiss, before returning to the fridge to grab some eggs. “Help me make breakfast.”

 

Hope POV

 

The four of us arrive to the main house at around 2 PM. Erin, John, Jerry have already arrived and are sitting outside on the deck, at the patio table. We say our ‘hellos’ and make our way to the picnic table. We had just sat ourselves down when I glance up towards the deck to see Dan walking towards us. I feel my stomach drop with anticipation. He looks at me and slows down, motioning for me to come with him. I give him a questioning look, but he just repeats the motion. I look at Kelley, who looks nervous, as well.

 

I sigh and stand up, giving the three of them a shrug, before walking away. I follow Dan to the large garage that sits a few hundred yards away from the main house. I immediately feel nervous. Why is he taking me back here? Why can’t we talk in front of everyone else? Why can’t we talk out here? What does he want to talk about? Questions fly around in my head as we walk inside. He turns on the light and I glance around. There’s an old car sitting in the middle of the room. Tools hang on the walls of the medium-sized, hard wood, building. There’s a few wooden structures sitting at the back of the room.

 

He sighs and sits on the hood of the red car, facing me. I stand, awkwardly, near the door and glance around the room, distracting myself from the situation at hand. “Do you see that? That bench right there?” I look at him, slightly confused, before looking to my left and seeing a gorgeous dark wood bench. It’s large enough for two people to sit, comfortably. There’s a great amount of detail, the wood looks almost like branches of a tree, intertwining with each other. However, only one side of the bench looks finished, while the other is bare, no detail at all. I nod, still confused as to what a bench has to do with anything.

 

“Kelley and I made that when she was ten years old. We spent the whole summer working on it, but we never did finish it. That was probably the best time of my life, coming home from work every day and seeing my little girl so excited to work on ‘our project’. We’d come out here and work for hours and hours. She would mostly just sing songs and I would try to teach her what I was doing, but she’d get too distracted.” He pauses for a second, smiling to himself. “She never did learn anything, but she always told everyone that she was building a bench with her dad. We were best friends.” He pauses again and looks at me.

 

“I know you’re probably wondering what that has to do with anything.” I shrug, slightly. He continues, “I just need you to understand that Kelley is my little girl. She and I have always been so close. I was at every one of her soccer games. I’d miss work to get there, if that’s what it took. I only want the best for her.” He stops, gauging my reaction. I nod, slowly, and glance down at my hands. I sigh. “And you don’t think I’m what’s best for her.” I say, knowingly. I glance at him and he looks back at me, tilting his head. “I don’t know.” He says, honestly. I bite my lips and square my shoulders, prepared for anything. “The only thing I know about you is what I’ve read and what my wife has told me.” My eyes widen, as I realize that Karen probably shared what I told her with Dan.

 

“I don’t know you. I was quick to judge and for that, I’m sorry.” He says, seriously, looking me in the eyes. “I have my doubts, Hope, I really do.” He shakes his head, to himself, almost as if he doesn’t want to feel the way he does. “But I want to get to know you, for who you are now. Not your past, not whatever it is you’ve been through, and not what everyone else says about you.” I cross my arms over my stomach, habitually. “I was gonna ask Kelley to help me finish that this summer.” He motions to the bench. “But I think it would be better if you and I worked on it together.”

 

I look at him, confusedly. “Why me and not Kelley?” I ask, hesitantly. He shrugs. “I don’t know. You can say ‘no’ if you want to, it’s probably a bad idea. I just thought we could get to know each other better.” He looks down and smiles, shaking his head to himself. It’s the first time that I’ve seen him look nervous around me. “No, no. I think it’s a great idea.” I say. If this is what he wants to do, if this is what’s gonna make him happy, then I’ll do it. I have no idea how to build a bench, but I’ll try. “You sure?” I nod.

 

“Okay. We start Monday at 6. Don’t be late.” I give him a small smile and nod. “I’ll be here.” He stands up and claps me on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about Jerry and Erin. There’s no need for them to know about any of this, okay? Just let them get to know you. Your past is your past.” He looks at me, seriously. “Okay.” I whisper, relieved that I shouldn’t have to deal with much drama today. “Thank you.” I add. He shakes his head. “No need.” He motions for me to follow him back outside and shuts off the lights, before we both make our way back to the house. Jerry and Erin have moved to the picnic table, sitting with Kelley, Tobin, and Alex. John is cooking on the grill. I give Dan a smile, before I walk over to the five of them. Kelley gives me a nervous, smile and moves over so I can sit next to her. “Hey guys.” I say, mostly to Jerry and Erin. “I hear you tied down my sister.” Jerry says, seriously. I look at Kelley, questioningly. Kelley rolls her eyes at her brother. “Uh, I’m not sure what you mean.” I say, honestly. “She’s a player, that one.” He motions to Kelley. “You must be pretty great if she agreed to be official.” I look at him, then at Kelley. “Oh yea?” I ask. Kelley shakes her head, rolling her eyes at Jerry. “He’s an idiot.” She stage whispers. Jerry furrows his eye brows. “Rude.” He counters.

 

Erin interrupts the banter. “Can I be the first to know when you buy the engagement ring?” She looks at me, pleadingly. I furrow my eye brows and Kelley puts her face in her hands, her skin turning red with the change in conversation. “Uh, sure, I guess so?” I respond, going with it. I glance at Tobin and Alex, who are looking on with amusement. I shoot them a light glare for their lack of back up. “Yes!” Erin says, pumping her fist. Jerry rolls his eyes.

 

Dan and John handle the grill, while Karen makes the salads. The rest of us decide to throw around a football. I toss it to Jerry, who makes an unnecessary one-handed catch. “Woooo! You guys see that?” He yells, spiking the ball on the ground. I roll my eyes. “That pass was right to you.” I yell back. He shoots me a glare, before throwing it back to me, roughly. I catch it with no issue, laughing at his lack of humility. We throw the back and forth for a while, before Jerry and I decide to go get the fire started.

 

After we eat, everyone pulls up a seat around the fire. We talk about soccer, getting Alex and Tobin involved in the conversation. Karen brings up school and what each of us are taking for classes. It’s nice, sitting here, with my friends, with my girlfriend, and with her family. There’s no pressure, there’s no longer any anxiety surrounding it, it’s just light conversation and banter that only a family could share. For the first time since being in Georgia, I don’t feel like I’m intruding, I don’t feel like I’m unwanted, I don’t feel like I’m being judged. Dan looks at me from across the fire and gives me a nod. I return the gesture, giving him a small smile. This is all that I’ve wanted, people to have my back, to accept me. While I still have a ways to go, with Dan, this is certainly more than anything I expected when I showed up here today.

 

* * *

 

 

A month went by in the blink of an eye and Kelley and I only have one more night in Georgia before we have to get back to Boston. During the last month, a lot has happened. Dan and I worked every night when he got home from work. We talked about everything. He told me about himself, turns out we both love hockey. When he found out I’m a Boston Bruins fan, though, I thought he was gonna throw his hammer at me. We moved past our dispute quickly and I think that over time, he got to know who I am. I opened up to him, at times, I answered any question that he had about me, my intentions, my plans for the future, anything he wanted to know, I told him.

 

With all of our hard work, we finished the bench with time to spare. After the stain dried, we presented it to Kelley and Karen, who were surprised with how good it came out. It now sits on the porch of the house, where it will remain for years to come. It’s a bittersweet feeling, to be honest. I never thought that he and I would grow as close as we have, but I’m actually pretty disappointed that we won’t have that time together anymore. My confidence level has spiked and I finally feel like I could, potentially, be a part of a family, one day. Don’t get me wrong, I have my days that I feel like I don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve to have these people in my life. Sometimes, I get worried that I’m going to mess it up, like I always have in the past.

 

So here we are, at our last dinner with everyone. Karen is making spaghetti and meatballs, Kelley’s favorite. Dan, John, Jerry, and me are watching the Red Sox game, since the Braves aren’t playing today. “Arghh.” I lean back in my seat, in frustration at, yet, another strike out. “We suck.” I groan. Kelley and Erin sit in the kitchen, helping Karen with whatever she needs done. About a half hour later, dinner is ready and we’re all sitting at the dinner table, chatting. “So you guys start training on Monday?” Dan asks. Kelley and I nod. “Yup. I’m probably not gonna be able to walk on Tuesday.” Kelley says, through her mouth full of spaghetti. I shake my head at her lack of manners. She sticks her tongue out at me. I cringe at the sight and look away.

 

Towards the end of the night, we all gather in the living room and put on a movie that none of us are watching. I see Erin and John look at each other, the two of them sharing a silent conversation, before standing up. “We’re gonna head out.” Erin says, grabbing her sweatshirt from the back of the couch. I see Kelley’s face fall at the declaration. I know leaving her family is gonna be heartbreaking for her. Hell, I don’t even want to leave and I’ve only known them for a few months.

 

Kelley and I stand up and approach them. Erin pulls a teary-eyed Kelley into a long embrace, while I shake John’s hand. “When the Sox beat your Braves, don’t call me crying. I’ll have no sympathy.” I say, in faux-seriousness. He scoffs. “You’re not allowed to say shit like that when your team can’t even hit it out of the infield.” I roll my eyes, but stay silent. My team sucks and I know it. Kelley and I switch and I give Erin a short hug. “You’ll be back for Thanksgiving, right?” She asks. I freeze, not wanting to overstep. “We’ll see.” I say, kindly. She nods, accepting my answer. “Okay, bye, guys.” Erin says to everyone. “Kell, call me when you land, okay?” Kelley nods and gives them one last wave, before they close the door behind them.

 

Jerry leaves shortly after, but not before giving me a terrible speech. “If you hurt my sister, you and I…we’re..gonna..we’re gonna have some major problems. So just don’t hurt her..you know…or else.” He stutters. I look at him and try to stifle my laughter. He’s probably the least intimidating person I’ve ever met in my life, so seeing him try to act like he’s threatening is fucking hilarious. He shoots me a glare, which shuts me up. “Okay, okay. You know I wouldn’t hurt her.” I say, holding back a grin. I stick my hand out and he slaps it away, lightly, before pulling me into a hug. “Anyone ever tell you that you’re super annoying?” I roll my eyes. Some people would take offense to something like that, but Jerry and I have formed a relationship that’s unlike most. “Anyone ever tell you that you’re kind of an asshole?” I say in his ear. He laughs and pulls back, clapping my shoulder, before turning to Kelley and pulling her into an embrace.

 

After Jerry leaves, Kelley and I head back to the guest house to get some sleep before our long day of travel tomorrow. Our flight leaves at 11:30, which means we have to leave here at around 9:30 to get there with plenty of time to get through security. Kelley and I enter the house and clean up a little bit, not wanting to leave Karen and Dan with a mess. With all the time that we spent together this summer, we still haven’t passed the point of making out. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to, but it’s just gone by so quickly and normally I was so tired from working with Dan that I’d just fall right asleep at night.

 

“Are you sad that we have to go back?” I whisper. We’re lying in bed, facing each other, the only light coming from the moon, shining through the window. “A little.” She responds. I nod. “Me too.” I admit. She gives me a smile, a light shining in her eyes. “You remember when you were convinced my family would never like you?” I roll my eyes, but nod. “I’m pretty sure they still don’t like me.” I say, jokingly. “Well, I mean, you are a Boston sports fan. Can you blame them?” She scrunches her nose. I scoff and shoot her a light glare.

 

“Seriously, though. They fucking love you, Hope. I’m pretty sure my Dad likes you more than he likes me.” I roll my eyes. “Right.” I say, sarcastically. She gives me a smirk. I look at her, the way her eyes shine in the moonlight, the way her nose crinkles when she talks, the way her ears wiggle when she smiles. I don’t know what comes over me, in this moment. A feeling that I’ve never truly felt before. _I love her._ The thought pops into my mind and the feeling overwhelms me to the point that I have to tell her. I have to let her know how I’m feeling in this moment. “I love you.” I whisper. She looks at me, silently for a few seconds. I immediately become nervous. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. Maybe this wasn’t the right time to tell her. Maybe she doesn’t feel the same way. I start to shut down, more and more, with every second that passes with no response from Kelley.

 

She looks at me, anxiously, before scooting herself closer to me. She leans in and gives me a long, loving, kiss. She pulls back and rests her forehead on mine, looking into my eyes. “I love you too.” I sigh, in relief, and lean into her, once again. We share long, lingering kisses, whispering sweet nothings. A connection that I can never truly put into words, a love that I’ve never had before. A love that I never thought I deserve. I lean up and onto my left elbow so I’m above her and run my tongue along her bottom lip. She grants entrance and we explore each other’s mouths like we have so many times before. I run my hand along her stomach and dip underneath the fabric, slowly moving my fingers along her heated skin.

 

She takes in a breath and brings both of her hands to the back of my neck. I move myself so I’m fully on top of her, my knees placed in between her legs and my left hand holding my weight, while my right hand explores her body. I move my lips to her jaw, making my way to her neck, as my hand, slowly, moves higher and higher. As I run my finger over her right nipple, I suck, softly, on her pulse point, pulling a moan from deep within her chest. Her grip on my neck tightens and her hips buck up, looking for some sort of contact.

 

The night passes, in a blur, proclamations of love, combined with lingering kisses and hesitant hands. Two bodies, coming together, in a way I’ve never experienced. I’ve never felt a connection so deep, so raw, that every touch is magnified to a whole other level, making it an experience that can’t be explained. Vulnerable minds, and open hearts, pleads for more, moans, filling the silence of the night. “I love you” is said more than once, reminding each other that this isn’t anything less than extraordinary.

 

The morning comes in the form of a loud knock on the front door. “We have to leave in ten minutes!” Karen yells. I shoot up from the bed, shaking Kelley awake. I look at her naked body and the memories of the night flood into my mind, filling my heart with promise. “Baby, we have to get dressed.” She groans, but rolls her way out of bed, scampering off to the bathroom. We get ourselves ready and make our way outside to meet Dan and Karen at the car. We pack in our luggage and head off to the airport.

 

We arrive at 10 o’clock, giving us plenty of time to get to our gate. “Well, this is it, I guess.” Dan says, as he takes the last bag out of the trunk. “I guess so.” I respond. Karen approaches me first and pulls me into a hug. “I love you, sweetie. You take care of Kelley. I expect lots of phone calls and I expect you to be back here for Thanksgiving.” I smile against her shoulder. “Yes, ma’am.” I say, sarcastically. She pulls back and rolls her eyes. “You used to be so polite.” She counters, giving me a smile. I shake my head and smile back at her. “I love you too.” I say, seriously. “Thank you, for everything.” She nods. “Of course.”

 

Dan picks up Kelley in a long embrace, both of them trying to contain their emotion. For Kelley, leaving her family is never easy and after the summer we’ve had together, it makes it even more difficult. Once they pull away, she moves her attention to Karen, who’s already crying, in anticipation for Kelley’s departure. Kelley stifles a sob, as she hugs her mother for the last time for about three months. “You call me at least once a week.” Kelley nods against her shoulder, tears rolling, freely, down her face.

 

I approach Dan, with a smile. He tightens his lips and shakes his head, his eyes meeting mine. “You know, you’re pretty great.” He says, softly, running a hand over his face. I look down, trying not to get emotional, myself. “Thank you, for giving me a chance.” I respond. He shakes his head, again, and pulls me into a hug. “Don’t thank me. You deserved a chance, from the start. I should have never judged you so harshly.” I give him a squeeze, in response. “You’re a part of this family now, kid, so get used to us. Make sure one of you calls us when you’re in Boston.” I stifle a sob, at his words. He rubs my back, knowing I was trying to control my emotions. “We will.” I say, as I pull back and wipe my face. He claps my shoulder. “Love you, kid.” I smile, at the nickname. It started, gradually, when we were building the bench and it kind of stuck. “Love you too.” I respond.

 

Kelley and I grab our things and give them a wave before making our way inside. I sniffle, still trying to control my tears. “You okay?” Kelley asks, softly, grabbing my hand. I shrug, as we make our way to the check in line. We check in our large bags and walk towards security. “What did he say to you?” She pushes. I sigh. “He told me that I’m a part of the family.” I say, shakily. She stops walking and looks at me. I turn around, confused as to why she stopped walking. “He said that?” I nod, clenching my jaw, in an attempt to control my tears. She walks to me and pulls me into a hug. “I told you. They love you.” I shrug. “I love you.” I retort, lightly, breaking the seriousness of the conversation. She smiles up at me and gives me a peck on the lips. “I love you too.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I officially have an idea in mind for my next story. I'm thinking a prison AU with pretty much the whole team, but with Hope and Kelley being the main focus, obviously. Let me know what you think/if you would read!
> 
> P.S. I still have a few ideas in mind for this one, so don't think I'm just gonna abandon it! :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, an update! Just a fair warning, midterms are approaching quickly so if I take a bit to update, don't worry. I will finish this story. Then Prison AU is coming your way! 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

 

 

Hope POV

 

We spent the last month and a half training as a team and it’s been great for morale. We all get along, for the most part. I’ve become pretty good friends with Ashlyn throughout all of the extra hours that keepers stayed out on the pitch. During the past few weeks, we moved into our four-bedroom, apartment-style, dorm. The rest of the team lives on the same floor as we do, all split into groups of four. Ali, Ashlyn, Lauren, and Amy have the room next to ours so we’ve spent many nights playing drinking games and nursing our sore muscles. Kelley talks to her parents at least once a week and texts her siblings almost daily. Sometimes, Dan will ask to talk to me and we’ll discuss what our project for next summer is gonna be.

 

We’re 3 and 0 so far, this season, but the next game is gonna be a big one. We’re playing Stanford and while they may seem to be the obvious choice for the win, we’ve come a long way since last season and we’re ready for the challenge. I’m sitting in my bedroom, doing some homework, while Kelley, Tobin, and Alex are all out getting food with Ash and Ali. They’ve been gone for what feels like hours as I sit here, staring at my computer screen, willing it to write this ten-page essay for me. I roll my eyes and sigh, standing up and walking into the kitchen.

 

Just as I take a water bottle out of the fridge, I hear my cell phone ring. “I’m busy.” I mumble to myself, as I trudge my way over to my phone. I look at the screen to see a Washington area code and my stomach drops. ‘Probably just a wrong number call or something.’ I think, as I touch the green button. “Hello?” I say, outright. I hear a sigh on the other end of the line. “Hope?” My throat gets tight with the sound of a voice I haven’t heard in a very long time. “Marcus.” I breath out. I hear him sniffle on his end and I know that something isn’t right. I haven’t talked to anyone in my family, other than my grandma, in over two years. There’s no reason why Marcus would just decide to call me out of the blue. I can only assume that he got my number from my grandma, who I could never cut out of my life.

 

“Ho-How are you?” He stutters. I sigh and unplug my phone from the charger, walking into the living area. “Same old.” I say, simply. There’s no reason for me to go into detail about my life to someone who’s more of a stranger, to me, than a brother. “It’s been a while.” I roll my eyes and sit down on the arm of the couch. “Yea.” I speak softly. I, truly, just want him to cut to the chase. “Listen, I know you’re trying to beat around the bush, here, but I’d much prefer if you would just tell me what the fuck is g-“ He cuts me off. “Mom died.”

 

I falter. “W-What?” I stutter out. I take a deep breath, willing myself to remain in control of my emotions. My mother was my only hope, growing up. She had her issues, yes, but she was the one to bring me to the park, to bring me to soccer games, to buy me what I needed. For a little while, she was all I had. Before the alcohol, before the addiction, she was my best friend and I don’t know how it’s come to this. “It was sudden. We still don’t know, exactly, what happened. A CO went to wake her for breakfast this morning and she was gone.”

 

I nod, to myself. “Does dad know?” I had to ask. I couldn’t give a fuck less about my father, but I need to know if he even cares that she’s gone. I hear him sigh. “He knows. He’s doing okay, I think.” I bite my bottom lip. “So what now?” I ask. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. The last place I want to go is Washington, but do I really want to miss my mother’s services? My thoughts are cut off by his voice. “You need to come home, Hope. Be here, with us. I know you don’t want to see dad, but you’ll regret it if you don’t come.” I close my eyes and hesitate.

 

“I..I don’t know, Marcus. I need to think about it. I’ll let you know by tomorrow.” I stand up wipe my face with my free hand. “Okay.” He whispers. “We’re thinking of having the services either Wednesday and Thursday or Thursday and Friday.” My mind immediately goes to the game against Stanford. So far, I’ve started in every game. If I go to Washington, I’ll miss out on what could, potentially, be the biggest game I’ve ever played in. “Okay. Bye.” I say, shortly, before hanging up. I stare at my phone screen for what feels like hours. I furrow my eye brows and feel one, lone, tear make its way down my face. I quickly brush it away. I don’t have any reason to cry. I haven’t seen or talked to her for two years. Now she’s gone and I’ll never get to see her again.

 

I hear the faint sound of voices coming from down the hallway. I, internally, panic. I rip my phone charger out of the wall in the living area and rush into my room. I hear the voices come closer and closer to the doorway of our apartment and I slam my laptop shut and jump into bed, throwing the covers over my head. If I pretend to sleep, they won’t try and talk to me. It’s not that I don’t trust them, because I do. I trust my two roommates and my girlfriend more than I’ve trusted anyone since I was young. Right now, though, I just need to digest this information, this shitty situation, and figure out what the fuck I’m gonna do. Alone.

 

I hear the door open and laughter floods into the dorm. “Shut up!” I hear Kelley say. “Never.” Ash responds. Are they drunk? I listen to the, slight, slur in Kelley’s voice as she speaks. She’s fucking drunk. Or at least buzzed. I feel strangely upset by this. Maybe it’s because of the news I’ve just received. Maybe it’s because she didn’t even invite me to come with them. Maybe it’s because I’m just so fucking done with people using alcohol as an excuse to ‘have fun’. Something about it. Something about it bothers me more than ever before. “Will you both just shut up?” Alex says, clearly annoyed by their antics. I hear a silence, then more laughter. “I’m going to check on my goalkeeper.” I hear Kelley say through her laughter.

 

I keep myself under the covers, hoping that she sees me ‘sleeping’ and leaves. I hear my bedroom door open and then close. I hear the faint sound of footsteps and feel the edge of my bed dip. “Baby? I’m back.” I don’t respond. I keep my body still and my breathing heavy. I feel a hand slide up and down my back, over the covers. “Babe?” Is she really trying to wake me up right now? I roll over onto my other side, facing away from her. “Mmmmmm.” I groan, hoping she’ll get the point. She doesn’t. “Hope, wake up. Everyone’s here.” I clench my jaw and will myself not to lash out.

 

“Come on. We’re getting drunk….well more drunk and going to a party at Jrue’s.” I don’t move. The last thing I need to do right now is get drunk and go to Lauren’s boyfriends’ apartment to hang out with sleezy frat guys who don’t understand that Kelley and I aren’t looking for a threesome. “Babbbbbe.” She says, louder. She shakes my body and I whip the covers off of my face. “What?” I say, angrily. I shoot her a glare and she raises her eye brows at me. “Wake up. We’re going to a party.” I shake my head. “No. You can go. I’m not going.” She smirks at me, only making me even more frustrated.

 

“I need you to come. Everyone has a date. Ash has Ali, Alex has Tobs, Lauren has Jrue, everyone has someone, you need to come. Please? For me?” My eyes soften and I look away. How does she always do this? I roll my eyes and stand up, hastily. “Fine. But I’m not drinking.” I state, seriously. She nods. “Okay.” She responds, happily. She stands up and walks to the door, with a pep in her step. “We’re leaving in twenty.” I nod and watch as she leaves, closing the door behind her.

 

“Stupid fucking party.” I mumble to myself, as I search through my closet for something to wear. I settle on a nice pair of jeans, black sneakers, and a t-shirt. There’s no reason for me to get all dressed up to hang out with a bunch of drunk people. Who even parties on a Monday? College kids, that’s who. I roll my eyes at the thought. I apply some makeup to my face and grab some cash, just in case I need it. “Hope? You ready?” Kelley asks, as she peeks her head into my room. I look at her and give her a slight nod. “Let’s go.”

 

She looks me up and down and slides into my room, shutting the door, quietly, behind her. “Are you okay?” I nod, looking at my gorgeous girlfriend. She’s wearing leggings, long black boots, and a flowy top. Her hair is down and she put on some makeup. She approaches me, wrapping her arms around my waist. I look down at her and she peers up at me, smiling. “Thank you for coming. I know you hate parties.” I grimace, thinking of all the people that are gonna be packed into Jrue’s small apartment. I give her a soft smile, in response. She leans up, onto her tip toes, and plants a lingering kiss to the corner of my mouth, before moving to my lips. She immediately tries to deepen the kiss, but I pull away before it gets too far. “They’re waiting for us.” I whisper. She rolls her eyes, glancing at the, closed, door of my bedroom. “Fine. Come on.” She says, grabbing me by the hand and leading me out of the room.

 

“It lives!” Ash yells, dramatically, as we walk into the living area, where everyone is waiting. I roll my eyes. “Let’s go party, bitches!” Kelley says, loudly. Everyone, except for me, cheers and we all file out of the room. Ash and Ali lead the way, while Kelley and I fall behind. Tobin and Alex linger in the middle of the group, chatting to each other about god knows what. I sigh, as we walk our way across campus. Kelley holds my hand, tightly, and talks my ear off. Normally, I’d be hanging on her every word, but, tonight, I’m distracted. I know I should talk to her. I know I should just get it over with, but I haven’t even been given the chance to digest it, myself, yet.

 

“Hope?” I faintly hear my name being called as we approach the building. “Hope?” She says, louder. I snap out of my daze and lock eyes with my girlfriend. “What? Sorry?” I look at her, apologetically. She shakes it off, though. “What’s going on? You haven’t been listening to a word I’ve said.” I shrug and shake my head. “I just have a really big assignment for my law class. It’s got me stumped. I’m sorry.” I look down at her, hoping that she believes me. It’s only half a lie. I do have a big assignment, but it doesn’t have me stumped and it’s not the reason I’m so out of it. She nods and I immediately feel relieved. “So you’ll be my partner in beer pong, right?” I roll my eyes. “Sure, Kell.”

 

I take a deep breath as we approach the party. I could hear the music thumping from the moment we walked into the building. If everyone in the building wasn’t at the party, I’m sure there would have been a noise complaint long before we got here. Ashlyn walks into the party like she owns the place, saying ‘hey’ to everyone she passes. Ali follows along, holding her hand, tightly, as they make their way through the crowd. Tobin and Alex head straight to the drink table, each of them grabbing a beer. As soon as we walk in, I feel anxious. I’ve never done well with large crowds, but, normally, there isn’t this many people at these parties. I figured, because it’s a Monday, there wouldn’t be many people here, but I’ve never been more wrong. If the fire marshal were here, they’d have shut it down before it even started. Jrue’s apartment isn’t big enough for this type of shit.

 

“You want a drink?” Kelley yells, to me, over the noise. I shake my head. “I’ll be over there.” I point to the corner of the living room, where no one is standing. She nods and walks over to the drink table. I make my way through the crowd and settle in the corner of the room, trying to calm my anxiety. I observe the way people interact, drunkenly dancing and grinding on each other. It’s like a fucking club. I see Kelley push her way through the people and she smiles at me, as she approaches. “You okay?” She says, loudly. I nod, looking down at her. “I’m fine.”

 

Somehow, in the midst of the party, we all got split up. Kelley left to find Tobin an Alex and I haven’t seen her since. It’s been, at least, an hour since I’ve seen her and I’m starting to get worried. I take a deep breath and prepare myself, before leaving my safe place, in the corner. I push through the crowds of dancing students, looking for one, in particular. I finally see her, backed against a wall, with a hockey player, who I’m familiar with, standing in front of her. I stop and gauge the situation. They’re just talking, but I know this guy. His name’s Colby and he’s wanted Kelley since the beginning of freshman year. I don’t know what his deal is, with me, but he has something against me and has no problem letting me know how he feels. He’s probably just intimidated. He’s been trying to get with Kelley for a while now, but with no success.  Apparently the fact that she isn’t attracted to men doesn’t faze him.

 

I stay back and let the situation play out. They talk for what feels like hours. Kelley laughs at whatever it is he’s saying and I feel a pull in my chest. I know Kelley isn’t attracted to him and I know she’d never do anything to hurt me, but a part of me still feels jealous when I see them interact. I sigh and turn away, making my way to the drink table, where I find Tobin. “Having fun?” She asks. I, quickly, shake my head. “Not even a little bit.” She nods, understandingly. “Where’s Kelley?” She asks, looking around. I nod in the direction of Kelley and Colby and she gives me a sympathetic glance. “Don’t let it faze you. She’d never let anything happen.” I nod. “I know.”

 

It isn’t until we start to play beer pong that it all comes to a clash. Kelley and I stand at one end, while Colby and his friend, Ryan, stand on the other. I clench my jaw, as Colby makes, yet another, crude comment towards Kelley. She just laughs it off, but it’s getting to me. Luckily, Kelley slowed down her drinking once she got to the party so she’s sobered up quite a bit since we left our dorm. But now, with every disrespectful remark he makes, every look he sends her way, I feel my anger getting closer and closer to boiling over. I’ve ignored him, so far, but it’s getting to the point where it’s not funny. It’s not a joke, it’s disrespectful and crude of him to continue to make sexual remarks or gestures towards her. I’m standing right here, for fuck’s sake.

 

Kelley and I only have one more cup left, while our opponents have three. We’ve been drinking water instead of beer, to the distaste of our opponents, who are calling us ‘cheaters’. I take one, final, shot at the solo cup and sink it. People, drunkenly, cheer for Kelley and I. I give her a smile and she throws her arms around my neck, pulling me into a hug. “Look at you, my little beer pong champ.” She says in my ear. I smile and pull her closer lifting her off the ground, before pulling away. “Ay, good game.” Colby says as he approaches us. He looks at Kelley and winks. “Who knew that you were so good at beer pong?” He says to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. I stiffen, watching his every move. “I mean, Hope’s the one who won it for us, so.” She says, shooting me a reassuring glance.

 

He sneers at me and grabs Kelley’s hand. “Let’s go dance.” He says to her. She furrows her eye brows and shakes her head, quickly. She tries pulling her hand away from his, but he has a good grip on her. “Why not? Come on. Don’t be a prude.” She scoffs and flinches back, clearly offended. I step forward and stand next to Kelley. “Just let her go. Be mature. She’s with me, that’s that. Stop pining after her, it’s kind of desperate.” I say, seriously. I wrap my hand around Kelley’s forearm, gently, trying to get him to let go of her hand. He shoots me a heavy glare and throws Kelley’s hand away. He then takes a step towards me and gets in my face. I don’t falter. “Guys, stop. Hope, let’s just go.” Kelley says, trying to stop the madness. Instead, we stand nose to nose, sizing each other up for what feels like minutes, but is probably only a few seconds. “You’re a fucking bitch.” He says, looking down at me, slightly. I smirk. “Thank you.” I respond.

 

I take a step back, but he grabs my arm. I immediately tense up, memories of my dark past flooding into my mind. I look at him, wide eyed. “Hey, man, let her go.” A guy, who I’ve never seen before, says. He approaches us, with a hand out, trying to make him back off. Colby must see the fear in my eyes because he drops my arm, like it burns him, and almost looks guilty. I stand there, for a few seconds, while he looks at me. “I’m sorry, I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-to, you know. I just, I didn’t know you and Kelley were together. I shouldn’t have-“ He cuts himself off, motioning to my arm. I nod, my heart still racing from the confrontation.

 

I feel a familiar touch and immediately feel safe. I look to my side and see a concerned Kelley staring back at me. She shoots Colby a glare and he gives me one last, apologetic, look, before walking towards the drink table. “Can we go, please?” I ask, softly, in her ear. She nods and we make our way out of the party, stopping only to let Ashlyn know we’re heading home. We walk, silently, back to our dorm. She holds my hand, securely in her own, brushing her thumb over the back of my hand every so often. When we finally arrive back, I head straight to my room, leaving my door open for Kelley. She doesn’t follow me in, though. I hear the shower turn on and am almost relieved. This gives me at least a little bit of time to calm down.

 

I lie in my bed and think about everything that’s happened today. I sigh and rub my face with my hands. I don’t know what I expected to happen, but I surely didn’t expect my mom to be the first person to pass away. I always thought I’d get a call that my dad had overdosed, but my mom? I thought my mom would be around for a while. I mean, I know she couldn’t, physically, be here for me while she’s been in prison, but it was nice knowing she was out there if I needed her. I have more on my plate than I can handle and I feel myself starting to retreat back to old habits. I have a strong urge to run. To close everyone out and have no reason to explain myself. My train of thought is broken by Kelley peering through the doorway. “I thought I’d give you some time alone. Do you want space or can I come in?”

 

I motion for her to come in and she complies. He hair is wet and she’s in sweatpants and a t-shirt. “Are you okay? I know Colby freaked you out. I don’t know what his deal is. I’ve told him I’m not interested in him countless times.” I shrug and look down at my arm. He didn’t grab me tight, but just the fact that he grabbed me when I wasn’t expecting it is the part that made me nervous. “It’s okay. He didn’t hurt me, he just scared me a little bit.” I say, honestly. She nods from her place next to the bed.

 

“What’s going on, babe? You’ve been acting off all night.” She asks, clearly concerned. I glance at her as she sits down next to me on the bed. “A lot.” I answer, honestly. She tilts her head at me and places a hand on my thigh. I look down at her hand and sigh. “I-I’m going back to Washington tomorrow.” I state. She takes her hand away and looks at me, confusedly. “You’re just leaving?” She looks almost hurt. “Why?” I take a deep breath and let it out, before glancing at her. “My mom died.” I whisper. I see her falter, moving away from me slightly. “W-What?”

 

I nod, keeping my eyes on my hands, which are placed, firmly, in my lap. “They don’t know how, but it happened last night in her sleep. My brother called me.” She doesn’t respond right away so I continue. “So I’m leaving tomorrow. I still need to call Marcus to tell him, but the services are either in two days or three so…” I trail off. Kelley brings her hand back to my thigh, rubbing it, soothingly. She moves herself closer to me and gives me a loving kiss on my temple. I sigh and lean into her lips. “I’m sorry.” She whispers against my skin. I shrug. “It’s okay. I never talked to her anyway, I shouldn’t even be sad.” I respond, shaking my head to myself. She pulls away and looks at me.

 

“You have every right to be sad, Hope. She’s your mother. It doesn’t matter how often you talked to her or how shitty your relationship may have gotten; what matters is that you love her.” I bite my lips and clench my jaw, making an unsuccessful attempt to hold back my tears. She pulls me into her and I melt into her embrace. She rubs my back while I let out silent tears. There’s no dramatic wail, no gut wrenching sobs, just silent tears that fall into the soft cotton of Kelley’s t-shirt. “It’s gonna be okay, blue eyes.” I almost crack a smile at her use of the old nickname. “My name is fucking Hope.” I whisper through my tears. I can almost see her rolling her eyes. “Nice to meet you, Fucking Hope.” She whispers, in response.

 

I let her hold me for a little while, in silence, before we got ourselves ready for bed. I made a quick phone call to Marcus to tell him I’d be there by tomorrow night and he seemed, surprisingly, excited about it. He even agreed to pick me up at the airport. Kelley and I lie down in my bed, facing each other. I know she has questions and I know it’s gonna be hard to be away from her for the first time in a long time, but I need to be there. If I don’t go, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. “You told Jill, right? She’ll need to put Ash in goal and call Alyssa to make sure she’s dressed on Wednesday.” I nod. “I talked to her earlier.” I whisper. “And I emailed my professors.” She gives me a small smile.

 

“Do you want me to come with you?” I hesitate. That’s a complicated question. Do I want her to be with me during this shitty time? Yes. But do I want to bring her to Washington where I’m gonna get insults thrown at me while I’m walking down the street? No. “You can’t come, Kell. The team needs you. I’ll be okay. I’ll text you the whole time.” She sighs. “I wish we weren’t playing Stanford. Any other game I would hop on the plane with you, but I don’t want to completely screw over the team.” I nod, in understanding. Kelley has to be here for the team. I do too, but right now, I need to go and say goodbye to my mom. “What time does your flight leave?” I internally groan at the thought of a long plane ride. “I take off at 2:15.” She puckers her lips and nods. “Do you have a ride?” I shrug. “Taxi.” She sighs. We fall into a comfortable silence for a few minutes, before Kelley breaks it. “You know how much I care about you, right?” I smile at her words. “I think so.” She rolls her eyes. “If you need me, I’ll be on the next flight to Washington.”

 

Kelley POV

 

Hope left about a half hour ago and I already miss her. I know she has to do this, though. I’m sitting in the living area with Tobin, while Alex is at her 1 o’clock class. “You’re really not gonna go?” I look at her, completely confused. “What do you mean? I can’t just leave the team and hop on a plane to Washington. We have a game tomorrow and we’re already missing Hope. Can we really afford another loss? It’s a big game, Tobs.” I ramble, a little bit, but Tobin doesn’t seem to mind. She nods, in understanding. “I just know that if Alex lost someone, I’d want to be there with her. Soccer comes second to her. Especially in a situation like Hope is in.” I furrow my eye brows. “Are you telling me I should go?”

 

She shrugs. “I’m not telling you anything. I’m just telling you how I would handle it.” I scoff. “Which is basically telling me to get my ass to Washington.” I say, exasperatedly. She gives me a smile, but doesn’t respond. “How would I even get there? I’d have to call my parents to let them know, I’d have to see if Jill would kick me off the team if I went. I’d need to tell all my professors. I’d just be a big mess.” I stand up and start pacing. “Should I really go? Does Hope even want me there? I don’t want to overstep, but I want to be there for her.” I mumble to myself. Tobin doesn’t respond to me, instead she just watches as I freak the fuck out. “Fuck it.” I spit out. I walk into my room and get out my laptop, looking at available flights to Washington.

 

I call my parents and they basically tell me that if I don’t go to Washington, I’d regret it. The last step is calling Jill. I’m nervous before I even pick up my cell phone. Jill tells me that she’d prefer if I were playing tomorrow, but she can work around it. Which means, I’m in the clear. I sigh, as I press my flight confirmation. I let out a long breath. I leave on the last flight out tonight. Great. Now I need to pack. Do I even own an all-black outfit? I roll my eyes to myself, as I whip clothes out of my closet. Tobin watches on, in amusement. I shoot her a glare, but that only causes her to smile even bigger.

 

Hope POV

 

When I arrived last night, I expected Marcus to be at the airport waiting for me. I looked around for him for two hours, but he never showed up. I felt more alone than I have in a long time. When I didn’t find him anywhere, I got a taxi to take me to the hotel I booked for the next three nights. It’s kind of disappointing. I thought he would have been here. I thought he would have wanted to make me feel welcome. Maybe a hug or something? But instead, I got to ride in the back of a stinky taxi with a driver who was eyeing me up the whole ride. “Aren’t you the one who got the kid killed?” I scoffed. “Just drive.” I responded, unwilling to feed into it.

 

Now, as I make my way to the funeral home for the wake, I feel completely isolated. When I arrive, I’m met with a cold stare from my father and a small smile from Marcus. I give him a sad smile in return and give him a short hug. “I wanted to pick you up last night, but I fell asleep.” I want to roll my eyes, but I don’t. It’s the worst excuse ever. If you didn’t want to see me, just admit it. We stand, in silence. My dad doesn’t say one word to me. The three of us make our way inside and we’re immediately led to the room to have a private moment with my mom. The casket is open, for now, but during the wake it will be closed. When I see my mom, for the first time in years, my stomach plummets to my feet. I bite my lips so hard, they bleed and I watch as my dad approaches her and says a few words. He kisses her on the cheek and shoots me a look as he walks to the side. Marcus does pretty much the same thing.

 

When it’s my turn, I don’t know what to do. I haven’t seen this woman in such a long time. Even Marcus kept in touch with her, but I didn’t. Regret fills my body with the knowledge that I won’t ever get a chance to reconnect with her. I sigh as I look at her. She looks good, I mean she looks pale, but she looks good. It’s clear that the couple years of being alcohol free did well for her, but it didn’t do enough. I wipe away the few stray tears that escaped and walk out of the room without waiting for my father or Marcus. I sit outside the room as they close the casket and people begin filing inside. The doors open and we stand to the side of the dark wood casket, listening to people give their condolences. “You should be ashamed of yourself.” One woman, whom I’ve never seen before, says to me, as she walks by. I look down and clasp my hands in front of my stomach. I’m wearing a black dress that I feel completely uncomfortable in, but I thought it would be better than pants.

 

A few others walk right past me, without a single word. I receive many glares and sneers that are thrown my way. I pretend not to notice, but I do. And it hurts. For the most part, I keep my head down and ignore any comments that are thrown at me, but most people are respectful enough to pretend that they care about me. My aunt asks me about school and my life. I tell her everything, including Kelley. When I mention her, my father whips his head around to look at me. I glance at him, nervously. He doesn’t say anything, though. He just gives me a look that I can’t quite decipher. I sigh. This is the worst part. I don’t want to talk to people who I’ve never met. I don’t need to hear stories about my mom. I don’t care how you knew her. I just care that she’s gone. And I’m here, with a ‘family’ that doesn’t care about me. I keep my eyes on the ground, only looking up when I see someone approaching out of the corner of my eye.

 

I feel a familiar touch on my hand and I initially flinch away from it, but when I look up to see my girlfriend’s hazel eyes looking back at me, I stare at her in disbelief. I try to stop myself, but before I know it, I break. Sobs wrack through my body, as she leads me out of the room and out of sight. I’m sure people are staring, but I don’t fucking care. She wraps her arms around me and I melt into her. “W-W-Why are you h-here?” I stutter out. “You have a g-game to play.” She doesn’t respond, instead she just squeezes me tighter. I pull away after a while and look down at her. She’s wearing a black dress, but it’s much different than mine. Her hair is flowing over her shoulders and she’s wearing black heels. I immediately feel safe. As soon as I saw her looking up at me, I felt like I was home.

 

“I got here last night. I stayed in a hotel. And before you say anything, I talked to Jill and my parents know I’m here.” She explains. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “I’m so glad you’re here.” I whisper, grabbing her hand. She gives me a sad smile and shrugs. “I want to be here for you, Hope.” I nod. “I know. But just be prepared for rude comments and nasty looks. I’ve gotten about 54, so far, today, and counting.” She furrows her eye brows and looks at me. “People are seriously being rude to you at your mother’s wake?” I shrug. She shakes her head, in disapproval. “Well I should probably get back inside.” I whisper. She nods and grabs my hand, leading me back into the, tension-filled, room.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a cliffhanger, sorry! Next chapter will be the rest of their time in Washington and a litttttle bit of drama.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started writing this chapter and just didn't stop, to be honest. It's a bit of a roller coaster! I'm planning on one more chapter in this story. Maybe I'll post an epilogue at a later time. 
> 
> As always, comments are always appreciated! :)
> 
> P.S. I posted the prologue to my new one! If you haven't already, go check it out.

 

 

Alex POV

 

Tobin and I are sitting in the class that we normally have with Kelley. Currently, our professor is lecturing us about how the internet works. As if we don’t already know. I roll my eyes. “If you look up here, I’m gonna type in someone’s name.” She says, typing a name that I’m not familiar with into the google browser. “Anyone that you know will have something pop up on any search engine. Whether it’s a Facebook page, a linked in page, a news article, anything. If their name is on the internet, you’ll find it here. What I want everyone to do is pick someone. It could be someone in the class, someone you know, one of your friends, family member, I don’t care. Just type their name into google and see what you find. I want you all to recognize the fact that the picture of you chugging a bud light that was taken at a high school party is gonna haunt you.” Some people in the class chuckle at her comment. I sigh and look at Tobin, seeing who she’s gonna pick. “I’ll do Kelley; you do Hope?” She offers. I smirk. That could be fun. Why hadn’t I thought of this when I still thought Hope was a murderer?

 

I type in her name and immediately I find multiple links.

_Tom Martin Found Guilty_

_Infant’s Mother Claims she had Nothing to do with Murder_

_Hope Solo Testifies in Martin Trial_

_Hope Solo Testifies that Tom Martin Physically Abused her on Multiple Occasions_

_Jeffrey Solo found Guilty_

_Woman Drives Drunk and Kills Police Officer_

_Hope Solo Leads Richland to First State Championship in School History_

 

My jaw drops as I scroll through the many links I find. What the fuck. I click on the first link and quickly scan over the article. _Martin was found guilty by a jury after an eighteen-month trial. The infant’s mother, Hope Solo, testified against the defendant. The prosecution used her testimony to prove his violent tendencies, as Solo testified that she had endured physical abuse from the man throughout their relationship together. Hadley Martin-Solo was not even one month old at the time of her death._ I click the back button and click on the a few more articles. “Al? What has you so interested?” Tobin’s voice breaks my train of thought. I glance at her and silently turn my laptop towards her. “Look.” I say, softly.

 

I watch as her face drop, with the realization of what Hope dealt with. She looks at me, wide-eyed, after finishing and shakes her head. “I don’t think we were supposed to see all that.” She mentions. I roll my eyes. “Are you serious? We just sent our best friend to Washington with that girl. She could be dangerous. She could have been lying. She could have killed the kid and her boyfriend covered for her.” I whisper, hastily. I know I’m not being practical, but my mind is clouded with information. Tobin falters and gives me a look. “You’re doing it again. Stop making assumptions about people, Alex. You’re not being rational. You and I both know Hope is a good person.” I scoff. “You don’t know that.” My mind is racing. What if something happens to Kelley? What if Hope isn’t a good person?

 

Our professor starts lecturing, once again, and I let my mind wander. I allow myself to calm down, my heartbeat slowing to a normal pace, and I think about everything. I know I initially overreacted. Hope wouldn’t lie about it and she’d obviously been through a lot. My question is, does Kelley even know about this? Has Hope been hiding it from her? I’m gonna have to talk to her about it and I’d rather do it sooner than later considering she flew across the country to support the girl. Class gets dismissed early so Tobin and I head back to our room before we have to get ready for the game. “What the fuck.” I groan, as we walk into the dorm. I plop down on the couch and cover my face with my hands, sprawling my legs on the cushions. “It’s not that big of a deal, Al. It’s not our business.”

 

Is she kidding? “It’s not our business? Our best friend is with her. She’s our roommate. Our teammate. Our friend. It’s our business.” I spit back at her. She shakes her head at me and I know she disagrees. “We can try to talk to her about it when they get back, but until then, just drop it.” I roll my eyes. “Oh, she WILL talk about it when she gets back. She’s lucky I don’t call right now.” I counter. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you care about her.” I shoot her a light glare. “Obviously I care about her. I just don’t know why she wouldn’t tell us about something like this. I mean, it’s a big deal.” I say, seriously. I’m not going to deny the fact that I consider Hope to be a close friend. I hate that she’s gone through this and I hate that I had to find out this way.

 

Kelley POV

 

I stayed at Hope’s hotel last night. We ordered in, watched movies, and talked, just a little bit, about how she’s feeling about everything. She seems to be doing, surprisingly, well. With that being said, it’s always hard to tell how she’s really feeling when she’s so good at hiding her emotions. We were up at the ass crack of dawn this morning because Marcus insisted that we have breakfast together before the funeral and burial services. So we all decided to meet at Marcus’ apartment, where he’d make us food. Hope and I got ready quickly, both of us rushing around the room to make sure we get there on time. We missed our first alarm. Luckily, I woke up in time for us to, potentially, get there on time. We hop into the taxi and wait until we arrive at our destination. “Have you ever been to Marcus’ place?” I ask, curiously. She shakes her head, looking out the window. “He moved away for a while. I think he was in New York. He just moved back to Washington last year.” She says, softly. We fall into a silence, both of us taking the time to prepare for the day ahead. The rest of the service last night wasn’t what I was expecting it to be. I was expecting tears, hugs, and condolences. Instead, I stood by Hope’s side all night while people passed her by without second thought. They would greet her dad, then Marcus, and they’d walk right by her. She didn’t say anything about it, didn’t express how it hurt her, but I know it did. At the end of the night, she mumbled a short ‘goodbye’ to Marcus and we left as quickly as we could. She can try to come across as fearless and unbreakable, but we both know she’s hurting.

 

We pull up to an apartment complex and step out. Hope pays the driver and we walk towards the building. I go up the steps and reach my arm out to open the door only to find that Hope isn’t next to me anymore. When I turn around, I see her standing at the bottom of the steps, looking at me desperately. I walk, slowly, cautiously, down to steps, stopping at the bottom one. “Are you okay?” She bites her lips and looks at me. “I don’t want to do this.” She says, seriously. I furrow my eye brows and reach out to cup her face. “What do you mean? Why not?” I ask, softly, stroking her cheek with my thumb. She leans into my hand and glances down.

 

“I don’t want to deal with my dad. He’s back on drugs. I know he is.” She says, quickly, shaking her head. “I shouldn’t have come here. I should have just stayed in Boston. No one wants me here, not one person.” She finishes. I sigh and watch as she starts playing with her fingers, a nervous tick that I picked up on long ago. “Your mom would want you to be here, Hope. You being here means so much to her, I know it.” I state. I know I’ve never met her mother, but clearly she and Hope had a connection, at one point. Hope sighs and looks passed me, towards the door. “Let’s just get this over with.” She whispers, walking passed me. I nod and follow her, silently. Hope presses the button to signal Marcus that we’ve arrived and we see him appear a few moments later.

 

He gives Hope a look that I can’t quite decipher. “What?” Hope asks, upon seeing him. He shakes his head. “Nothing. I’m glad you came.” He says to her, giving me a nod, before leading us up the staircase. When we finally make it into the apartment, I’m kind of shocked at how nice it is. The outside of the building is simple, nothing special, but this apartment is gorgeous. It’s clear that he already started cooking by the smell of bacon wafting from the kitchen. We enter the living room, where Hope’s dad is sitting. He glances up at her and hesitates, before standing. He’s a rather large man. He has a medium stature, but he’s got at least four inches on Hope and she’s way taller than I am. “Hey.” He says, shortly. She rolls her eyes.

 

“Hi.” She says, before turning to me. “This is Kelley, my girlfriend.” I give him a small smile and wave, in greeting. Normally, I’d be the first person to stick my hand out and shake someone’s hand when introduced for the first time, but Hope’s hesitance around the man stops me from being so outgoing. “Does she have a last name?” He asks, looking at me pointedly. I open my mouth to respond, but she cuts me off. “You don’t need to know that. Her name is Kelley. That’s all you need to know.” She speaks coldly, looking him dead in the eyes, daring him to step to her. He puckers his lips, sizing her up for a few seconds before backing down. I glance at her, questioningly, but she just gives me a look that says ‘trust me’. I nod, letting her know I understand. “Food’s done.” Marcus yells from the kitchen.

 

I sigh, in relief, before following Hope into the kitchen. I hear Jeffrey following close behind me. I don’t know what about him makes me feel so uneasy. Maybe it’s the way he looks at Hope. Maybe it’s everything that Hope told me about him. Or maybe it’s just the fact that he refuses to get help. Something about him makes me nervous. Hope glances back at me, while we’re walking, and grabs me by the waist, pulling me in front of her. We all sit down, Hope sits next to me, while Jeffrey and Marcus sit across from us. We eat in an uncomfortable silence. It’s awkward and I’m pretty sure you’d need a chain saw to cut the tension that’s filling the room.

 

“You still in touch with your grandmother?” Jeffrey asks Hope, before shoveling another bite of eggs into his mouth. Hope glances at him over her fork. “Why do you care?” She counters. I raise my eye brows, waiting to see how the conversation pans out. He scoffs at her lack of response. “Come on, Hope, I’m not asking you for your social security number, here, I’m asking about a family member.” He says, calmly. Hope shrugs. “I don’t know why you care, all the sudden. You never have, why start now?” He clenches his jaw. “I just want to get in touch with her. I want to make sure she’s taking care of herself.”

 

“I haven’t talked to her.” She replies, seriously, looking at him. Marcus cuts in, sensing the uneasiness. “Dad, why don’t you tell Hope about your new job?” I perk up. Maybe Hope was wrong. Maybe he’s getting his life together. Jeffrey nods. “I’ve been working for a construction company for a few months now. The job sucks, but it’s decent money.” He says, looking across the table at her. I look at my girlfriend. She’s clearly trying to decide whether she can believe him or not. “Oh yea? What’s the company called?” She asks, curiously. He hesitates, clearly not expecting the question. “Uh-it’s, it’s called-“ Hope cuts him off. “You’re not fucking working, father.” She spits out the name in distaste. “Do you think I’m an idiot? Do you think I just forgot about everything that you put me through? That you put US through?” She motions to Marcus. “He might be able to forgive you, but I can’t.” She stops and takes a deep breath. “I appreciate the meal, Marcus, but we’re gonna go. I’ll see you at the church.” She says, softly. I quickly follow her lead and stand up. “Thank you.” I say to her brother, before following her out the door.

 

I have to jog to catch up to Hope, who’s clearly seething. “That mother fucker.” She says. She stops at the bottom of the stairs and puts her forehead on the wall. I give her some space, knowing she needs to calm down on her own. My eyes widen when she brings her fist back. “Hey, no. Hope! You’ll break your fucking hand, do not punch that wall.” I say, as quickly as I can. My words seem to get through to her because she drops her fist down to her side and stands up straight. She takes a few deep breaths, before looking at me. “I’m sorry.” She whispers, looking up at me through her dark lashes. I nod, walking down the last few stairs. “Today is gonna be hard. But we’ll get through it together.” I whisper. She nods and reaches out to pull me into a hug.

 

“Why didn’t you want him knowing my last name?” I ask, curiously, as we walk down the road. We decided to go for a short walk on the warm Washington morning, before heading to the church, which is only a few blocks away. “I don’t want him knowing anything about you. He knows some bad people, Kell. He’s a bad person. I didn’t even want you to meet him.” I raise my eye brows at her serious tone. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come.” I say, dejectedly. She quickly grabs my hand, shaking her head. “No, you took that wrong. I guess I should have said I didn’t want him to meet you. You’re too good to even be in his presence. I don’t have family like you do, Kell. I don’t have that. If I did, I’d show you off to them every chance I got, but I can’t. They’re just not good people. The entire state hates me. I never want to come back here again.” She rambles.

 

“Then don’t.” I state, simply. She looks at me and nods. “Not planning on it.” She sighs out, grabbing my hand and interlacing our fingers. We head into a nearby convenient store to grab some water. “Together?” The cashier asks, as we both place our bottles down. Hope nods, keeping her head down. I place a hand on her back, reassuringly. “Hope? Is that you?” The cashier asks. I raise my eye brows and look between the two. She glances up at the girl and nods. “Wow, you got hot.” She says, looking her up and down, appreciatively, from behind the counter. I shoot her a heavy glare. Hope looks at me, apologetically, and wraps an arm around my waist.

 

“So Tom got put away, huh? You hear from him?” She asks, casually, as she scans the items. I feel Hope stiffen at the mention of him. “I don’t talk to him.” Hope says, simply. The girl shrugs. “That’s probably for the best. I mean he did, well, do a lot of messed up shit. How are you doing with the whole Hadley situation? You doing okay?” The cashier pushes. I see Hope clench her jaw and look down, her shoulders sagging. “What’s the total?” I ask, shortly. The girl gives me a strange look. “Who are you? I was just asking her a question. I’m sure I’ve known her a hell of a lot longer than you have, midget.” I scoff. She did not just call me a fucking midget.

 

“I am her _girlfriend_.” I enunciate the word. “And you’re upsetting her. So just tell me how much the damn waters are so we can leave.” The girl rolls her eyes and puts the waters in a bag. “$3.50” She says, finally. I throw the money on the counter and grab Hope’s hand, essentially pulling her out of the store. “She called me a midget! A fucking midget, Hope, who was that?” I say, angrily, as we walk through the parking lot towards the church. “I went to high school with her. We had a few classes together.” She says, simply. I open my mouth to respond, when I hear a phone vibrate. I take mine out of my pocket to check it, but it wasn’t mine.

 

“Who is it?” I ask, Hope, who’s typing out a text. She sighs, as she places her phone back in her pocket. “Alex. She just told me that she and Tobin are here for me. I told her I appreciate it.” I nod. “They’re good friends.” I mention, wrapping my hand around Hope’s bicep. “They are.” She agrees, taking a drink from her water. “Are you okay? With everything that just happen-“ She cuts me off with a nod. “I’m fine. I just didn’t expect her to bring it up. I should really be prepared for it, considering everyone in this fucking town has no problem rubbing my face in it any chance they get.” I squeeze her arm, reassuringly. “I know. We’ll get through it.” I whisper, leaning into her side.

 

We get through the funeral service without too much issue. Hope gets a few dirty looks that I return, without issue. We sit in the front pew, along with Jeffrey and Marcus, who haven’t said a word to Hope since they’ve arrived. She sheds a few tears during the short service and I hold her hand the whole time, making sure to shoot glares at every person who looks our way. The church is right across the street from the cemetery, so we all walk the short way. I hold her hand as we cross the street and walk through the gate. We’re approaching the burial site, when I feel Hope jolt and stumble a little bit. I furrow my eye brows and look over, to see that a man, who looks to be around Hope’s age, had just intentionally shouldered her, roughly, on his way passed. He shoots her a dirty look over his shoulder as he walks away. Hope lets go of my hand to rub at her shoulder blade, trying to sooth the dull ache that he caused.

 

She grimaces, shaking her head a little bit. I feel myself becoming angrier by the second. Fuck it. I narrow my eyes at the man and start walking towards him, with purpose. “Hey!” I shout at him, getting his attention. He looks at me and smirks. “Hey yourself.” He replies, clearly making a sad attempt at flirting with a smirk on his face that makes him look more constipated than sexy. I stand in front of him, eyes narrowed. “You think it’s cool to push girls around? Just give ‘em a shove here and there?” I ask, sarcastically. He tilts his head at me. “Oh, you’re talking about the coward?” He asks, looking down at me. “She deserves it.” He shrugs a shoulder.

 

My blood is boiling, at this point. “How fucking dare you?” I ask, hastily. “I will personally break every fucking bone in your body.” I say, getting in his face. “Kell, stop.” I hear Hope plead with me. She wraps her arms around my waist and pulls me away from him. “That’s right. Hope the Coward, running away from her problems, once again.” He says, loudly, catching everyone’s attention. I try to turn to go after him again, but Hope has a good grip on me, refusing to let me go. She pulls me away from the crowd of people and let’s go of me. As soon as I feel her release her grip, I try to walk passed her, back over to him, but she catches me by the waist. “Please. Please, just stop.” She whispers. Her defeated tone is what finally gets through to me and I stop resisting.

 

I step back and look up at her. Her cheeks are red, eyes filled with unfallen tears, her chest heaving. The sight instantly calms me. “I’m sorry.” I whisper, reaching for her hand. She allows me to grab it. “I’m so sorry, he just got to me. I never get that angry.” I say, seriously. She nods. “I know. I appreciate you standing up for me, but this isn’t the time or place.” She says, sadly. I immediately feel guilty. I know she’s having a hard enough time being here, now I’ve just caused even more attention to be cast upon her. I see Jeffrey walking up to us, slowly. I nod towards him, motioning to Hope that he’s coming. She sighs. “Of course.” She mumbles under her breath. “Can I talk to you alone for a second?” He asks her. She laughs, sarcastically. “Anything you say to me; you can say in front of her.” She counters.

 

He nods, slowly. “Listen, I don’t want to make you even more upset at me, but I just need…I need..a little bit of money.” He says, hesitantly. I see Hope stiffen. “It’s just for some food, rent for the month. Stuff like that.” He explains, quickly. “You’re fucking with me, right?” Hope blurts out. She’s physically shaking, at this point. “Money? You’re asking your daughter, who you haven’t spoken to in over seven years, for fucking money? For drug money?” He starts to shake his head, but Hope continues. “Don’t even deny it, you piece of shit, it’s for drugs.” She spits out at him. He narrows his eyes at her, angrily, and pauses for a few seconds. “You’ve always been so useless.” He says, seriously, shaking his head. “We never wanted anything to do with you, Hope, don’t you get that? Your mother never wanted you. I never wanted you. Marcus never wanted you. Tom tried to whip you into shape, but you’ve always been so fucking worthless.” He looks her dead in the eyes and speaks softly, seriously. Too seriously. I look between the two with wide eyes. I almost step in and tell him just what I think about him, but I remember what Hope said to me, just minutes ago.

 

I step forward and place a hand on her lower back. He looks at me. “Soon you’ll find out just how absolutely useless she is. You’ll leave her too. No one has ever wanted her.” He gives Hope a disgusted once over, before stalking away, stiffly. Hope doesn’t move a muscle. She doesn’t turn away, doesn’t even blink for what feels like minutes. I move so I’m standing in front of her, looking up at her emotionless face. I reach out and grab her hand, which snaps her out of whatever daze she was in. She blinks a few times, before looking down. I don’t say anything, knowing that anything I try to say to her right now is just gonna go over her head. So I stand there with her as the burial service begins. I keep my eyes on her, trying to decipher what she’s thinking. I see her nod her head a few times, before looking up at me. “Let’s go.” She whispers. She turns away and starts walking towards the gate. “Hope.” I call to her, desperately, but she doesn’t turn around.

 

I jog to catch up to her and walk, silently, by her side. We walk for what feels like hours. I continuously glance up at her, to see a cold, faraway, expression on her face. “Baby, please, just stop.” I whisper, pleadingly. I feel my calves and ankles burning from walking so far in these shoes. Hope finally glances at me. “Let’s just get back to the hotel, at least.” I plead with her, once again. She hesitates, before sighing. “Okay.” She whispers. We figure out where we are and call a cab. We wait, in silence, and don’t speak the entire ride back to the hotel.

 

When we finally walk into the room, I, quickly, take off my shoes. She walks to the bed and sits down at the edge, looking down at her hands, which are resting in her lap. I approach her, hesitantly. “Hope?” I whisper. I kneel down in front of her, so I can see her face. “You know nothing he said is true.” I say, softly. She doesn’t respond. She doesn’t even acknowledge the fact that I’ve said anything at all. She’s completely shut down on me. I put my hands on her knees, then slide them over hers, stroking her palms with my thumbs. “Don’t block me out.” I whisper, bringing a hand up to move her hair out of her face. She looks at me, finally, and furrows her eye brows. “What kind of monster says something like that to their child?” She asks, shaking her head in disbelief. I sigh and cup her face with both of my hands, forcing her to look at me.

 

“He doesn’t deserve to be in your life. Don’t let him get in your head, Hope, because if you do, he’s winning.” She takes a deep breath, clenching her jaw. “I just wanted to come here for my mom and it turned out to be a shit show.” She says, sadly. “I don’t understand why they couldn’t have just ignored me. It would have been less painful.” I bite my lips and sit back on my knees. She still hasn’t cried and I’m not sure if it’s a good sign or a bad one. “I know.” I say, softly. She doesn’t seem to be taking anything he said to heart, which is a huge relief. But at the same time, I know her. And I know that she’s hurting more than I know.

 

Our short silence is broken by the sound of my phone ringing. I sigh and lean forward to kiss Hope’s forehead, before standing. Alex’s name shines on my screen and I roll my eyes, before picking it up. “Hey, Al. Not really the best time.” I say, quietly. “It’ll be quick. I just need to talk to you for a minute.” I sigh. What the does she need? I grab the key and shrug at Hope, before walking into the hallway. “What’s up? Are you and Tobs okay?” I ask, shutting the door and walking down the hallway. “We’re fine, it’s actually about Hope.” I furrow my eye brows, a little bit. Why would she want to talk about Hope? And why is it urgent?

 

“Okay?” I drag out, questioningly. I hear her take a deep breath, before beginning. “Okay, so we were in class today and had to look people up.” I feel my body fill with dread, as I realize what this could be about. “So Tobin chose you and I chose Hope. When I entered her name a bunch of articles popped up, Kell.” I sigh and open my mouth to tell her that I know, but she continues. “Hope had a baby, Kell. And she was in an abusive relationship with the baby’s father and-“ I cut her off. “I know, Al, I know. I know about all of it.” I say, loudly, so she hears me over her own voice. She pauses for a few seconds. “Oh.” She states, simply. I shake my head a little bit.

 

“Yea.” I reply, not knowing where to take the conversation. “Well I guess I just wanted to make sure you knew.” I internally groan. She really didn’t trust that Hope would tell me something like that? “I know. I just wish you didn’t find out this way. I know she wanted to tell you herself.” I pace up and down the hallway, speaking softly so Hope doesn’t hear me. “Tobin didn’t want me to call, but I had to make sure you knew about it. It’s a huge deal, Kell. I had no idea.” I nod my head, slowly. “I know.” We sit in a semi-awkward silence for a few seconds before I break it. “Well I have to go. Today hasn’t gone well and now I need to tell her that you two found out about that mess. Text me after the game tonight. Kick some Stanny ass.” I say, smirking a little. “I will. Tell Hope we have her back.”

 

“Will do.” I hang up before she replies, sliding the keycard into the door and walking in. When I enter, Hope’s laying down in bed, her hands covering her face. “You okay?” I ask. She moves her hands and sits up so she’s leaning back against the headboard. “I’m fine. Just tired.” She responds, softly. I nod. “I, um, have to tell you something.” She squints her eyes, questioningly, and motions for me to continue. “Alex and Tobin know.” She furrows her eye brows and shakes her head. I sigh and approach the bed, sitting down on the edge. “They know about what?” I can hear the slight sound of desperation in her voice. She knows what I’m talking about, but needs to hear me say it. “They had to google people in class today. Alex chose you and she found..well, you know what she found.” I see her face drop, slightly, but she quickly regains her composure.

 

“Great.” She says, simply. I turn my head to look at her and she shrugs. “So now I have no friends and no family.” She states, casually. I furrow my eye brows. “Alex literally just told me to tell you they have your back. You didn’t lose them.” She locks eyes with me, almost needing to gauge whether or not she could believe me. “Okay.” She whispers. I sigh, knowing I wasn’t gonna be able to get through to her right now. I see her shutting down and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. She won’t talk to me, will barely even fucking look at me. What am I supposed to do? I can’t force her into spilling her feelings. I watch as she rolls off the bed. “Gonna go shower.” She mumbles, as she walks past me. Great. Just fucking great.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer's block is a bitch. I'm sorry it's been so long, but this last chapter really stumped me and honestly I'm still not sure it turned out how I wanted.
> 
> Regardless, here's the final chapter. I might do an epilogue at some point, but this is it, for now! Thank you all for all of the support you've shown me, it means a lot. I hope you enjoyed reading! 
> 
> Any prompts or questions you can leave in the comments or on Tumblr. HSolo1995

 

 

Kelley POV

 

Hope and I barely talked for the rest of our time in Washington. We went through the motions and I tried to ignore the fact that she’s been avoiding me. I don’t know what else to do but let her figure it out on her own. The last time I tried to push her, it only made things worse. I sigh, as we step out of our taxi and walk towards our building. We’ve finally made it back on campus after a long, silent, flight. It’s around 9:30, so the sun has gone down and the night air is crisp with the coming autumn. I glance up at her, hoping to get some sort of reaction, with no success. “They’re gonna want to talk.” I whisper. She hesitates, before looking at me and nodding. “I know.” She sighs out. I bite my lips and continue my way down the hallway, dragging my luggage behind me.

 

I unlock the door for us and walk in to see Tobin and Alex watching a game in the living area. “Hey guys.” I say, softly, as I put my bags to the side of the door. Hope walks in behind me and places her bags near mine. She gives them a tight smile and awkwardly stands beside me. “How’d everything go?” Tobin asks, casually, as she stands up and walks over to give us both brief hugs. “It was fine.” Hope whispers, in response. Alex does the same, giving me a lingering hug and Hope a short, awkward, embrace. Hope reads people easily. It’s almost like she can sense the conflict of emotion that Alex feels towards the situation. “I’m gonna go unpack.” Hope says, as she turns to grab her bags.

 

“Can we talk first?” Alex asks, suddenly. I see Hope stiffen and close her eyes, briefly. I reach out to touch her arm, but she pulls away and runs her fingers through her hair. I try to brush it off, but it does hurt that she’s pulling away from me. “Fine.” She responds, shortly. She walks past us and goes to sit on the couch in the living area. I give Alex a pointed glare and follow Hope, turning off the TV and sitting down next to her. “I don’t know why you guys care about my past so much.” Hope starts, her face steeled as she watches Tobin and Alex sit across from us. Tobin sighs and runs her fingers through her hair. “I don’t care, I just figured it’d be best to get it over with considering we now have a good idea of what happened.” She responds, giving Hope a reassuring glance.

 

Alex looks more reserved, her eyes reading Hope for any sign of being untrustworthy. “I just think it’s weird that you’ve gone out of your way to try and hide this from us when you know that your story is all over the internet.” My eyes meet Alex’s and I shoot her a look that says ‘what the fuck are you doing?’ She raises her eye brows in return. I glance to Hope, who’s jaw is firmly clenched and she’s clearly trying to remain calm. “I didn’t ‘go out of my way’ to hide anything from you, I just didn’t think it was any of your business.” She replies, challengingly.

 

“How is it not our business? You live with us, for fuck’s sake!” Alex says, motioning with her hands. “You’re Kelley’s friends, before anything else. You’ll always take her side. I don’t have any reason to share my life story with you. I don’t have anything to prove to you. It’s not your fucking business, Alex, so drop it.” I glance to Tobin, who looks slightly hurt at her words. This only spurs Alex on further. “So now we aren’t your friends? We’ve been there for you since day 1?”

 

“Have you? Have you been there? Last time I checked, you were skeptical of me since the first time you met me. Don’t even try to deny it.” Hope leans forward, but speaks calmly. Alex sighs, but doesn’t back down. “Because I knew you were hiding something and I was right.” She counters. Hope shakes her head. “I wasn’t hiding anything. I just didn’t feel the need to share my sad sob story to people who I barely knew, at the time.” Hope says, softly. “Why?” Alex asks, curiously. Hope wipes her face with her hands and glances at me. I reach out and offer her my hand, half expecting her to push me away. To my surprise, she interlaces our fingers and leans back against the back of the couch.

 

“Because I don’t tell just anyone about my life. Kelley and my therapist-“ She pauses and shakes her head, clearly regretting her decision of letting them know that she sees a therapist. “are the only people I’ve talked about it with, in depth. Kelley’s parents know a lot about it too, but that’s only because they saw it online, like you did. I keep it to myself for as long as I can. People leave when they find out. So forgive me for not telling you about it the first fucking day we met, Alex. I thought it might scare you away, which clearly it has, considering you’re being so bitter about it.” Hope finishes, angrily. I squeeze her hand, reassuringly, but she doesn’t return the gesture. Alex, to her credit, looks a little bit guilty.

 

“You didn’t scare us away. Tobin didn’t even want to talk to you about it, I’m the one who suggested we do. I don’t care what you’ve been through, I just wish you would have told us. I thought we were friends. I consider you to be my friend, regardless of whether the feeling is mutual or not.” Tobin nods, in agreement. Alex continues, “I’m sorry I was so skeptical, I just wanted to make sure Kell was okay. I just hate that we had to find out about something like this on the internet.” She finishes, softly.

 

“I was gonna tell you about it, when the time was right. It’s not something you really just bring up randomly. ‘Oh, by the way guys, I was in a super abusive relationship and on top of that, I had a perfect baby girl who’s no longer with us.’” She says, sarcastically. She pulls her hand away from me and I can see the pain flash through her eyes at the mention of Hadley. Alex and Tobin remain silent, for a few seconds, both of them surprised at Hope’s bluntness. I sigh and give Alex a pleading look. This conversation needs to end on a good note. If this doesn’t go well, Hope will just pull away further and I don’t know how I’ll get through to her.

 

“I get it.” Alex whispers. Hope looks up to meet her eyes. I glance between the two, trying to gauge the situation. Hope nods, slowly, in response. “You really don’t consider us to be your friends? Yes, we were friends with Kelley first, but you’re one of my closest friends, Hope.” Tobin speaks up, breaking the silence. Hope snaps her eyes to the midfielder and sighs, pausing for a few seconds before speaking. “Of course I consider you a friend, Tob. I just..I-“ She huffs, in frustration, before continuing. “If it ever did come down to it, I know that you would be on Kelley’s side. If I ever did lose Kelley, I’d lose you guys too and I’d be alone again.” She says, softly, glancing between the two. Tobin raises her eye brows.

 

“That’s not true.” Alex says, simply. I look at her, skeptically. “I know I was kind of a bitch. I get it. I’m sorry that I was so quick to judge. Yes, Kelley is my best friend and I want to protect her, but if anything ever happened between the two of you, I wouldn’t just leave.” She says, looking at Hope seriously. “I mean it would be weird though, so if you guys could just, you know, not break up it’d be great.” She adds, pulling a smile from Hope. I sigh, in relief. “Are we all okay now? Can this whole ‘let’s try and find dirt on Hope’ charade be over?” I ask, after a few seconds of silence.

 

Alex nods, to my relief. Hope bites her lips and looks between the three of us, before standing. “I’m gonna go unpack now.” She says, abruptly, walking away before any of us can respond. I watch her walk away. I should try to stop her, but I think she might just need a little bit of space. I’ll try again later. “Are you two okay?” Tobin asks, looking in the direction of Hope’s room. I shrug. “She got into it with her dad before we left. She just needs space.” I respond, simply, before standing. “I’m gonna go get settled too. I’ll be back out here later. Maybe we can watch a movie or something.” Alex puckers her lips and nods, skeptically. She wants to ask questions, but she stays silent.

 

As I make my way to my room, my luggage dragging behind me, I think of every scenario that could possibly occur between Hope and me. I try to refrain from over thinking, but this whole situation has my mind racing in a million different directions. I don’t know how to help her or make her feel better. What does someone do when their girlfriend’s father ripped her to shreds when she was at her most vulnerable. All that I can do is show her that I’m here for her and hope to god she doesn’t run.

 

* * *

 

 

After I finished unpacking, I took a quick shower. Now, as I make my way to Hope’s room, I feel my nerves skyrocket. I feel like I’m walking into the lion’s den. It’s not that I feel as though I did something wrong or that Hope’s gonna be mad at me, but this could quite possibly be the end of everything. Hope could so easily just pull away and pretend like she and I never had anything special. I tap on the door a few times, before cracking open the door and peeking my head in. Hope glances up at me over her laptop, which is sitting in front of her at her desk.

 

“Hey.” I say, softly, as I walk into her room. She closes her laptop and takes off her glasses, putting them safely in their case. I close the door behind me and walk into the room, climbing onto her bed. She turns her desk chair so she’s facing me as I get settled. “I’m sorry.” She starts. I raise my eye brows, slightly surprised at the apology. “I shouldn’t have pulled away from you.” She continues, looking down at her hands in front of her. “I guess I’m just not used to having someone care?” She says, questioningly. It’s as if she still isn’t sure why she pulled away so abruptly. “You don’t have to apologize.” I respond, softly. “I just don’t want you to go through all of this by yourself and when you close me out I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I want to push and risk you lashing out at me, but other times I just decide that giving you space is what you want. I don’t know how to help when you do this, Hope. It’s frustrating for me.”

 

She nods, slowly. “I know. I’m sorry.” She glances at me, apologetically, before looking back to her lap. “Are you okay?” I ask, changing the subject slightly. She shrugs and for a second I think she’s just going to brush off my question with a bullshit answer. “I’m better now. I just wasn’t expecting-“ She cuts herself off and looks at me. “all of that to happen. I didn’t think he’d do that.” She finishes. I nod, in understanding. “I know.” We fall into a short silence. “You just have to realize that he was trying to hurt you, he was trying to make you second guess me and our relationship. He was trying to put you back into the dark hole you were in for a while. You can either let him do what he set out to do or you can rise above it. I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s true.”

 

“I know.” She whispers, in response. I can see the wheels turning in her head. “I’m never going back to Washington, Kelley. Not for anything. Not for his funeral. Not for Marcus. Not for anyone. I’m leaving it in the past.” She says, seriously. She glances at me, trying to gauge my reaction. “No one said you have to, babe. You and I can start a life together somewhere else. Maybe even here in Boston, after we graduate. We can go to Georgia for the holidays and I’ll even let you drag me to a Bruins game or two.” I say, trying to lighten the mood a little bit. She gives me a small smile, before it disappears just as quickly as it came and her brow crinkles. “Are you sure that’s what you want?” She asks, softly. I tilt my head at her. “What do you mean? Of course it is.”

 

She shrugs. “I just..I want to make sure you’re really in this with me. Because if you aren’t I’d rather know now than in a few years when you decide I’m not worth it anymore.” I falter back, looking at her with what I can only assume to be a completely exasperated look upon my face. “Hope, I love you. Neither of us can predict the future, but all that I know is that right now, you’re it for me. You’re who I want. If you need me to remind you of that every day, that’s what I’ll do. I’m in love with you.” I say, as I make my way closer to her. She sighs and looks at me, before nodding. “I love you too.” She responds, softly.

 

I give her a soft smile and crinkle my nose at her. “Good. Now I might have told Talex that we’d watch a movie with them.” I say, reaching out and poking her nose. She rolls her eyes. “Great.” She says, I faux-sarcasm. I roll myself off of the bed and pull her up by the hands. “Come on. The sooner we watch this movie, the sooner we can cuddle and go to sleep.” She begrudgingly follows me across the room and towards the door. Before I open it, I turn around to face her. She looks at me, curiously, while I bring both of my hands to cup her face and lean in slowly. She meets me half way and our lips press together softly. I pull back and move my lips to her cheek, then move them to her forehead. I whisper against her skin. She smiles, as I pull away and gives me a lingering kiss on the lips, before pulling away and leading me to the living area, where Tobin and Alex are waiting.

 

We spend the night watching Bend it Like Beckham. Tobin made enough popcorn for at least ten people and Alex ended up tossing most of hers at Hope and I throughout the movie. Through everything that’s happened during the past year, the one thing I know for sure is that these three people are my best friends. I wouldn’t trade them for anyone. Hope has been the best surprise of my life, so far. She went from being set upon getting through life alone to opening herself up to love. That’s what I plan on doing. Loving her through the good days, the bad, and the ugly. That’s what a relationship is all about, isn’t it? Love and support through anything and everything? That’s how I see it anyway.

 

 


End file.
